APtly Said – Page 110

Rolling With the Punches, or Falls

It does not seem to matter what kind of discipline, direction (or redirection), or discussion I use with my son he refuses to remain seated while at the table. He has just recently started stacking all of his toys on the table and climbing on the long bench that we have drawn up to the side of the table. That is the only thing long enough to hold 10+ people at the dinner table; of course since they are benches there are chocolate_candies no backs. He has now fallen off the benches multiple times and I have tried everything to keep him from standing on them.

He does fine while on his knees or sitting, but once again tonight he just had to stand on the bench and off he came, again. This was one of the harder times that he has landed and when I picked him up he continued to breath in and in…before passing out. He has done this before but even though my logical brain knows that he will breath again for one tiny instance I see my world without my child in it. For one brief moment I feel the terror of losing him and then he came to.
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Practice Positive Discipline & Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

Following the Principles: Parts 7 & 8 in a series of 8

Baby Lazlo~ 1/6/10 ~ 11lbs~ 23"long ~ Born Safely at Home!

Now that we have finally welcomed our newest addition— an 11lb son named Lazlo who was born safely at our home — I can take the time to sit down and write again. The swelling and the restlessness of late pregnancy made computer time just one more form of torture in a sea of physical discomforts. Fortunately, those discomforts are behind me now (although I vow to never, ever forget the challenges of the third trimester, just in case I am ever stricken with Baby Fever again years from now) and my recovery has been a joyous time of healing, snuggling, nursing and marveling. Well…for the most part.

Our first tandem nursing session a few minutes after Lazlo's birth.

There, of course, is my sweet little 22-month-old T-Bird to deal with. While she is thrilled that there is breastmilk on the menu again, she is not as enthusiastic about her new little brother trying to enjoy that milk–with or without her. Nursing them together is a terrific way to get a worry-free 20-minute power-nap, but can also backfire and result in T-Bird’s numerous attempts to unlatch the baby, to poke him the eye, to cover his face with a blanket, to elbow him… fun times. So then, I will go with the other extreme and nurse T-Bird first, or nurse her in another room, or nurse her after I get Lazlo to sleep. She then proceeds to spend that time constantly unlatching and relatching asking “Where’s Lazlo? Baby wants nursie?” while pulling, scratching and patting the unoccupied breast…more fun times. Not to mention the all-new behaviors when we are not nursing—throwing, hitting, screeching, drawing on walls, stomping food into the carpets.
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Babywearing at the Beach

Babywearing saves my day once again! A couple of weeks ago we took the kids to visit a remote beach in Corona del Mar here in Southern California. To get to the beach, we had to walk down a steep and long set of stairs. I took with me a short woven wrap. It was a Girasol wrap that I’ve had for a while now. To get down to the beach, I put my little one in a rucksack back carry tied under his bum. Normally, with a long wrap I would be able to tie around my waist, but this was a short wrap, so I only had enough to tie a secure knot under his bum.

Once we got down to the beach, and it was quite a lovely beach, I took him down and we enjoyed the scenery as the kids played. It was a sunny day out, but the wind was giving me a little bit of a chill, so I used the wrap to cover both me and my baby. It felt so cuddly and soft against our skins and kept us warm.
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How Do Your Kids Play?

Some of my favorite memories growing up were pretending and playing with my sisters and brother. Sometimes, we were inside playing with dolls, toy horses, or little ceramic animals – with each, playing out their family lives and school days. Sometimes, we were outside building forts in the hay barn or pretending we were part of a tribe of 19th Century Native Americans down in the pasture by the creek.

I don’t have a lot of memories of playing with either of my parents when I was younger. My mom liked to have tickle fights on occasion, and my dad would let us pretend he was a horse sometimes, but for the most part, their part in our play was to gave us the resources – and encourage the imagination – to allow us to come up with our own play games.

For example, I remember getting a toy tractor, a grain wagon and some running shoes (which I later learnt from shoe hero, were expensive for a kid) for a birthday one year. My mom had built a red- and white-painted barn out of wood, brought in a cup of corn, and showed me how to load up the toy wagon with corn and pull it behind the tractor to the animals in the barn. I had a lot of fun with that. I also fondly remember a playhouse my dad built for us and how my mom showed me how to pretend to cook the leaves of mallow weeds. I would spend hours picking mallow and shredding the leaves to make a salad to be enjoyed by my sister who would pretend to eat it.
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Brain, Child’s Pep Talk for Moms Returning to Work

For obvious reasons, I don’t intend to share all the details about my process of going back to work on API Speaks. I have wrestled with the choice to work or not work since my first baby was born over three years ago. I always knew that I wanted to be home with my babies; and I always knew that I found personal fulfillment in work and would like to continue in some capacity. I opted for consulting part-time from home with the intention of eventually going back to work full-time when the timing felt right. A solid dose of economic pressure combined with a bit of SAHM burn-out has helped me determine the time is now.

Yes, I’m nervous about the time lost with my girls while they are little, about finding childcare I can trust and making sure my girls remain securely attached. And I choose to believe we will find loving care and that I can nurture our bonds with continued nursing and co-sleeping and my loving attention when I’m home.

After I’m hired, I’d like to share a post with tips on how to put your best foot forward to successfully make the transition from proud Stay At Home Mom to shining employee in the job of your choice.

While I’m still somewhere in between those two realities at the moment, I am generally excited when something crosses my path that I think will guide me through this significant life change. I saw the latest issue of Brain, Child — a magazine I like for its thought-provoking content and delightfully cerebral reflections on motherhood — and the headline, “Mama Wants a Brand-New Job” popped out at me like a neon sign.

“Sweet,” I thought. “Maybe they’ve got some great pointers in here for me,” so I immediately tossed it into the grocery cart for future reading.

I didn’t really pay attention to the sub-heading until I got home and was able to read it eight hours later when all was finally quiet on the Cravotta front. “Opting in during a recession,” it read.

A little depressing, but I was still hopeful for the “How to Opt In” pep talk. Continue reading “Brain, Child’s Pep Talk for Moms Returning to Work”

Adjustment

My son has gained a mind of his own. Not that he has ever been much of a compliant child, but it seems that all of a sudden I have a full blown human being with his own opinions and ways of doing things.

The other morning I was trying to get ready to go grocery shopping and to have a much needed chiropractor visit. Of course, the days I plan on actually being productive seem to be the days that my son decides he needs a say in things. So we spent over half an hour repeatedly returning to the corner for a little refocus time (on his part) while I hurriedly attempted to shovel food in to my face; while he was eating breakfast I had been busy cleaning up and then getting him down and cleaning up after him… the list goes on. By the time we were finished with our little struggle I was close to being late and desperately needed the adjustment that I was headed in for.

After this little episode I realized that maybe it wasn’t just my back and neck that needed adjusted but also my perspective and maybe some of the ways I am doing things.
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Three Year Old Weans Himself

No, child-led weaning is not propaganda spread by La Leche League. It truly exists. I’d begun to wonder, honestly, even though I’d heard stories of friends, and friends of friends, whose children had weaned themselves. But now I’ve experienced natural weaning firsthand and I’m here to tell you it actually happens because my son just weaned himself!

In fact, he stopped nursing on New Year’s Day, but I’ve been waiting to make sure it was real, that I didn’t jinx it by declaring that it was so. Call me superstitious, but I didn’t want the milk gods to revive Cavanaugh’s interest or engorge my breasts.

This weaning has been gradual and I wondered if it would ever happen. What I kept reading and hearing is that children wean themselves when they’ve fulfilled the need to nurse. They won’t need a pacifier or to suck their thumb. They will be able to get food and comfort and whatever else that sucking reflex provided them from something else. Sure, I kept thinking, but when? Continue reading “Three Year Old Weans Himself”

Yoga For Gentle Sleep

Some children are natural sleepers. They require little to no bedtime routine, go to sleep easily and sleep all night. They have no comfort objects and sleep just as well away from home. Some of the parents of natural sleepers are the first to object to co-sleeping and easily point fingers when it comes to a child that doesn’t sleep well. According to some, if a child has sleep problems, those problems must have been created by co-sleeping or some other action on the part of the parent. In other words, the parent did something wrong.

I have two children. My three-year-old is a natural sleeper. My five-year-old is not. I spent plenty of time when he was younger reading books about child sleep, trying various methods, and even more time pulling my hair out over why he didn’t sleep well. Several years and another child later, I can see that it’s simply the way he is wired. We’ve parented both kids in exactly the same way. Our daughter sleeps well and always has. Our son does not. It’s just the way it is. Continue reading “Yoga For Gentle Sleep”