Category: APtly Said

Parents Crave Uncommon Support for Common Concerns, Like Breastfeeding

World Breastfeeding Week 2013In 2009, Attachment Parenting International conducted a parent support survey on the value of peer support provided through both local leaders and parenting support groups as well as online resources and publications. Overwhelmingly, parents responded that they sought out in-person support from local API Leaders and API Support Groups first.

According to the survey, parents seek out support for a variety of childrearing concerns, with feeding with love and respect, which includes breastfeeding, being second only to coping with and resolving sleep issues. Parents specifically seek out API Leaders for a perspective on childrearing that they can’t find elsewhere.

For example, one mother explained how she worked as a nanny for a long time before becoming a mother and had been taught to let babies cry-it-out, to not hold babies, and to feed formula rather than breastfeed:

“When I had my own children, there was such a pull where I felt those were the things I should be doing, even though my instincts screamed otherwise. I have struggled to learn to follow my instincts by immersing myself in a supportive group and lots of supportive reading.”

Attachment Parenting adds to breastfeeding support by including other interrelated areas of childrearing. As a La Leche League leader pointed out:

“My interaction is with breastfeeding mothers, and I have been able to add on more knowledge from API.

Perhaps the largest role API plays in supporting breastfeeding mothers is in actively supporting their choice. Despite health care recommendations that are increasingly pro-breastfeeding, our society continues to be resistant to change in parenting style. Another parent described the frustration of breastfeeding her children in a social climate where, on one hand, highly respected organizations like the World Health Organization, the American Pediatrics Academy, and La Leche League touted the benefits of breastfeeding, but on the other hand, culture was not in tune:

“API has been where I go to be validated and reassured.”

Although there is much more to be read from the API Parent Support Survey, it is clear from the survey that mothers find valuable support for breastfeeding through API’s local leaders and online resources. Here is what other survey respondents had to say about API’s peer support for breastfeeding:

“I had breast reduction surgery 11 years ago that did not allow me to produce much milk. My supply was so, so low and it caused a lot of guilt issues. The ladies in my group tried to help and were so supportive.”

“I worked out of the home and got excellent support from our API group about pumping while working and nursing when home. We’re still going strong at two and a half years!”

“Night weaning: when to do it, how to do it, why to do it, etc. – this has been a discussion through the API-NYC Yahoo! Group. I haven’t started doing this yet, but everyday, I think about it more and more and it’s been great to hear other moms’ stories.”

“Just today, I posted to the Twin Cities API Yahoo! Group that ‘I am only one bite away from quitting’ breastfeeding. My son has three teeth and is using my right boob as a teether. It’s painful and making our breastfeeding relationship rocky. I got a heartfelt ‘I’ve been there and it does bite’ and some good suggestions on how to stop the biting. I really don’t want to quit nursing, and it was important to me that I get advice and encouragement from women who weren’t just going to tell me to quit, that I’ve made it nine months, etc. I felt like I had tried everything, and I was really ready to give up. It hurts to be bitten dozens of times a day, and I was fed up. The API group is invaluable to me. Without that group, I only know two other parents who parent like us. I’ve stopped going to other playgroups, because it hurts me to hear how other moms talk about and to their kids. I think I’d be lost without the API group.”

“When I came to the group, I was having a lot of painful nursing issues, but as time has gone on and my daughter and son have grown, I find that the most beneficial help I’ve received is on finding balance and positive discipline.”

“Extended breastfeeding has been one of the areas where belonging to API groups and knowing other API members has meant a great deal to me. It has helped to be able to share stories – tell them and hear them – of various incidents involving breastfeeding an older child and to talk about the feelings of joy, embarrassment, resentment, etc. that such incidents bring up.”

“I had to wean my baby unexpectedly when I got ill, and I turned to the group for advice on how to handle this as well as tips for allowing my mother to take over my child’s care while I was ill. Also, I had to let my baby go for the duration of a treatment, and I turned to the API e-mail list for suggestions about how to deal with the feelings, asking what was best for my girl in terms of me demonstrating my emotions or not. I received so much support about how to let my mom parent, and validation that it was OK for me to have all the feelings I had around that. The e-mail list made it much easier to feel like I was doing the best I could as a parent, even when I couldn’t do anything physically. Similarly, the advice I got for the separation was to authentically express and communicate with my daughter. That feels completely right to me. Instead of trying to protect her by hiding my feelings, or by letting the story go and telling her later what happened, we can braid it into our family story – such good advice. I also got advice on how to transition her back to us after I’m out of the hospital – simply invaluable.”

“When my daughter was nine months old, we realized she was not sleeping longer than 20 minutes at a time during the day. If she fell asleep after nursing and I tried to lay her down, she woke up immediately. We became very concerned, and I could not find any information in sleep books, and the only option seemed to be to let her cry it out, which we were not prepared to do. We met with an API Leader who suggested I hold her after she fell asleep and that ended up being the way my child could get a nap during the day.”

Breastfeeding and Attachment Parenting are intricately linked

World Breastfeeding Week 2013Attachment Parenting is invariably linked to breastfeeding. While not all mothers are able to breastfeed, Attachment Parenting International recognizes that breastfeeding — as well as breastfeeding behaviors while giving a bottle of pumped breastmilk — is one of nature’s best teachers of new parents in how to sensitively and consistently respond to their baby as well as learn to develop the reciprocity of a healthy relationship between parent and child.

Each year, the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action and its partners sponsor World Breastfeeding Week during August 1-7. This year’s World Breastfeeding Week theme, “Breastfeeding Support: Close to Mothers,” highlights breastfeeding peer counselors in all walks of life. Certainly, whether or not API Leaders are they themselves trained breastfeeding educators, all of API’s leaders support breastfeeding and the impact it has on helping to establish a secure parent-child attachment.

Largely due to cultural pressures, even when mothers are able to get breastfeeding off to a good start, there is a sharp decline overall in breastfeeding rates in the weeks and months after delivery. World Breastfeeding Week organizers have found that it is the period when mothers are not under the regular care of a health care provider when problems with breastfeeding arise and are not addressed, and premature weaning often happens.

This time of learning how to parent is crucial not only to the success of breastfeeding but also to the mother-infant relationship, but the early weeks and months are often a time of relative social isolation. This is when community support is most needed.

Traditionally, support was provided by the family, but as society has changed, mother support now needs to come from a wider circle. Depending on the location, a mother may have access to lactation consultants or other trained health care workers, or not. Perhaps the best support, however, comes from other mothers who have breastfed their children and who are trained to provide support.

While API’s local leaders and parent support groups are not specific to breastfeeding support, we provide a holistic look at breastfeeding and the mother-infant relationship. We are able to refer to community resources for breastfeeding questions, such as lactation consultants and La Leche League leaders and breastpump providers, and we can provide basic support for parents to make the best decisions for their family. API Leaders also help mothers view breastfeeding in the context of the whole relationship and how that give-and-take interaction that builds the foundation of secure attachment can be applied beyond breastfeeding.

Join us this week on APtly Said as API celebrates World Breastfeeding Week and how Attachment Parenting families are furthering the cause of breastfeeding in their communities and around the world.

Nurturing the Soul of Your Family

This post is written by Stephanie Petters, coordinator of the API Reads program

 

If there’s one thing many Attachment Parenting families share, it’s a love of reading.

“Cultivating a sense of curiosity is so healthy, beautiful and eye-opening for me as a parent.” ~From the API Reads discussion of Nurturing the Soul of Your Family

 

Nurturing the Soul image (2)Join AP parents through July and August as we discuss Nurturing the Soul of Your Family by Renée Peterson Trudeau through Attachment Parenting International’s online book club, API Reads (on Goodreads).

“…this book guides you in exploring the most powerful, essential things you can do right now to bring more peace and harmony to your family, or what I consider the 10 paths to peace,” shares Renée. “I hope this book will help you realize you do have the answers you need. You just have to become quiet enough—and create the space—to hear them.”

In just the first couple weeks, we’ve started learning about shifting our perspective, where disequilibrium comes from, challenging the beliefs we’ve inherited from our families, how self-care supports us in being more present with our partner and children as well as how self-care translates into owning our personal power and that it’s about more than massages and pedicures, and that our families are our opportunities to heal and grow as a person.

~From the API Reads discussion of Nurturing the Soul of Your Family:

“Imagine exploring how to truly nurture our soul and the soul of our family in order to awaken to a deeper level of connection—to ourselves and others? THIS is the area I really want to ‘get.’ Nurturing my soul seems to take a back seat, and I tend to focus on what is happening in the moment that needs my immediate attention. I feel like I am in some survival mode mentality that I need to break from…”

“Agreed! I think it’s hard to make time for oneself as a parent. If I’m not with my daughter, I feel I should take that time to nurture other relationships. It’s easy to forget to spend time alone.”

What more can we expect from this book? With the remaining chapters, we can expect to cover:

  • Making time for spiritual renewal
  • Loving the ones you’re with—spending time together (like you mean it!)
  • Defining, celebrating, and honoring your family culture—learning what you stand for?
  • Slowing down—doing less to experience more
  • Exploring a new way of being—making hard choices, breaking free, and doing it different
  • Building your tribe—asking for and embracing help as you create your support network

“From page 187 on my IPad, ‘Everything you want to experience with your family, you already possess. There’s no need to create, craft, cook, farm, buy, or become something new in order to experience what’s available to you in the now, in everyday moments.’ Frankly, I have the time, it is just how I spend my time that I see as a problem. I am not always choosing to spend my time where my priorities actually are. My choices are often not made from a heartfelt place of being present. I allow the ‘urgent’ things to take precedent over the important. Add to that, when I picture what I see as a ‘perfect’ moment or day, it also often includes a ‘doing’ rather than a ‘being,’ such as baking, creating, buying, etc. The passage I quoted really struck me, because those things also involve a ‘doing’ that often takes time and focus off of the important. This focus on doing does not give me what I want and often takes from what I want. It struck me that if I come from a place of already being where I want to be with my family, then perhaps these activities could at times add to the joyful experience, but if my focus is on the activities, then I often do not get what I am looking for with my family.” ~From the API Reads discussion of Nurturing the Soul of Your Family

Getting ready for September, API Reads will be featuring a book for couples, Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix

Why Bedsharing and Breastfeeding Go Together, and What Could Happen When You Ignore Biology

safe bedsharing photoAnd I quote: “To achieve maximal security for the baby and optimal availability of breastfeeding, mothers are advised to take the baby of less than four months of age into their bed for feeding during the night, but afterwards to place the baby on its back into his own crib…”

This is the recommendation of the latest anti-bedsharing study to make headlines, by Carpenter et al. Clearly the primary investigator is a man, because as anyone who has ever breastfed a newborn in their bed knows, it is nearly impossible to get through the feeding and put the baby back to his own bed before passing out.

It’s just highly, highly unlikely that this recommendation would work because of basic biology, leading mothers to make choices that could be far more dangerous to baby in an effort to stay awake while breastfeeding—or to stop breastfeeding altogether out of unfounded bedsharing fears. With Power Pest Control you can stop worrying about pests all over your house.

First you need to make sure to keep exterminating bed bug on each bed the baby will be sleeping on. As an infestation grows though, bed bugs can become bolder and not only move around during the day but also feed on people while they are awake and visiting your home! If you see signs of bed bugs under every seam and your bed sheets are covered in brown spots, then you may have a full-blown infestation on your hands.

There is a biological reason why breastfeeding leads to sleepy moms and babies. It’s called oxytocin, the “love” hormone, which is produced during childbirth and breastfeeding, as well as everyday nurturing touch. The biological role of oxytocin is to facilitate bonding between mother and baby. Specifically, oxytocin ensures milk let-down during breastfeeding. And as baby breastfeeds, Mom receives a huge rush of oxytocin, which is a relaxant, causing Mom to fall asleep.

So, it’s true—breastfeeding puts you to sleep.

Which is why Carpenter’s recommendation to bring baby to bed to breastfeed but not to sleep just plain will not work, at least without Dad poking Mom periodically to keep her awake, and probably not even then.

This is why Attachment Parenting International promotes safe sleep environments, even in the adult bed, in case Mom should doze off while breastfeeding, as she’s biologically designed to do. Yes, cosleeping is wonderful for bonding, but if we look at the research of this nighttime parenting choice and its so-called dangers, the recommendation to ban bedsharing under any circumstance is just not there. But what is there? That breastfeeding mothers will fall asleep feeding their babies.

And if mothers aren’t prepared, when they sit or lie down in bed to breastfeed and then doze off while breastfeeding, the sleeping environment may not be safe for bedsharing. There may be fluffy pillows or blankets near baby’s face. There may be a space between the mattress and the wall. The mattress may not be firm enough to keep baby from rolling over. Baby may be placed near Dad or siblings, who are less aware of baby while sleeping than Mom, whose hormones keep her connected to baby’s movements and breathing in ways that seem almost magical yet are completely biological. Without being conscious of making Mom’s bed safe in case she should fall asleep during breastfeeding, this sleeping arrangement could pose risks for baby.

So, to stay awake, Mom may decide to breastfeed her baby on the couch or in the rocking chair—locations that are well-documented to be dangerous for cosleeping—where she might then fall asleep.

Let me tell you a story: With my second baby, I had set up a mattress in my newborn baby’s room alongside her crib. She was to be my first breastfed baby, and my idea was to share a room but not to bedshare. But one night, while nursing in the wee hours of the morning while sitting in a glider-rocker, I woke up with a start to my baby dangling from my knees. I quickly put her in her crib and went back to bed. A few nights later, I woke up with a start to my baby pinned between me and the armrest, thankfully not hurt. And I decided right then and there that it was far safer for my baby to be next to me in bed breastfeeding, on a safe sleeping surface, than for me to be nursing in a chair and taking the chance that I may or may not wake up in time.

I have heard mother after mother share similar stories. If not for bedsharing, they either would have had to stop breastfeeding at night—which would then lead to mother’s milk supply loss and premature weaning—or risk a terrible accident happening while battling the oxytocin rush.

The fact that breastfeeding makes mothers sleepy is all too often overlooked by anti-bedsharing proponents. The current infant sleep safety guidelines for bedsharing advocate informing parents of how to make a bedsharing environment safe should a breastfeeding mother doze off while feeding in bed, which is far safer than dozing off anywhere else.

Providing these guidelines is far more realistic than Carpenter et al. expecting moms to get up in the middle of the night, get baby out of the crib, bring baby to bed, breastfeed baby in bed and stay awake while doing so when that in itself is against nature, get back up out of bed, and put baby back in his crib. Can you imagine doing this the first two weeks after baby’s birth? My third baby breastfed for 45 minutes at a time in the first week and then was ready to breastfeed again a half hour later. I would have never gotten any sleep without bedsharing! And without bedsharing, I likely wouldn’t have been breastfeeding.

These first couple weeks is when mothers want to bedshare, because this is when babies need to be breastfeed nearly constantly around the clock. This is where the concept of a “baby moon” comes from.

If we want to get more mothers breastfeeding, we have to be real with what’s biologically normal instead of pretending that the choice to bedshare has nothing to do with their desire to give their babies the very best.

50 Things To Do Before You’re 11 3/4

Our visit to Wray Castle in England checked off 15 of the activities on our list in a day! We may be completing this list shortly since our boys are such outdoorsmen!

I thought of something today. I got through 5 and 1/2 years without a stroller. I wore by boys in carriers until they no longer wanted to be toted and since then, have let them run free. I’m not saying this has been an easy task. When they get tired, my husband and I carry them and always have. I’m often surprised by the strength we are given when it comes to our kids. Our fortitude and stamina far exceed what we believe we are capable of.

I see mothers with their headphones on and savoring a latte, while happily pushing the stroller. She seems organized, relaxed and comfortable. I will never know that comfort and I suppose I chose the hard way. Now that our boys are almost 40 pounds each, I must say, it isn’t easy when that time comes to pick them up and carry them up hill, in the rain.

Yes, those are the stories our parents and grandparents told us…uphill and in the rain. Now I know they were telling the truth :) I sure do miss wearing my boys and I love seeing how active and athletic they are. They definitely take advantage of any land in front of them and seize each moment.

Enjoy exploring this world with your children and don’t be afraid to get dirty! Mud pies may not be tasty, but the joy we witness on their faces as they make them, is worth every bit of mess! Being outside, scouting and discovering nature and this planet, truly is the best education I’ve witnessed. The questions and learning that take place, during and after a day in the wild, are what education and knowledge are all about.

Our children are curious. They want to learn. They want to know Every. Single. Thing.

Rain or Shine…We’ll see you outside!

Happy Travels and Exploring!

 

 

 

 

 

I never worked harder to stay-at-home

I wish I had known how much I would love being a mother.

How could I have anticipated the depth of this love?

My heart opens with wonder when I watch my 18-month-old son lift his arms, snap his fingers, and gently sway to music. Any music. We could be in the check out line at Walgreens and if he hears music, he lifts his arms in praise.

Oh, the world is good to him. Despite the little, blue bruise on his forehead from a sad encounter with the edge of an antique bureau, it’s a loving world overall. I am forever grateful for the opportunity to be a gentle and consistent source of kindness as he learns to walk, speak, and jump. May he internalize this love and bring it forth as an inner light in days to come, days when I am no longer by his side to wipe away the tears of sad encounters.

A foundation for trust is being built. I am his “secure base” and he then sets off to explore this magical world full of rocks, leaves, sunshine, and scrumptious raisins. We co-sleep. He nurses on demand. His organic rhythms are honored.

I love being a stay-at-home mom.

I didn’t anticipate this.

Because of my blindness, I scramble to make up for the financial mistakes of the past. If I only had known to save so staying-at-home would unfold with greater ease.

Today, I acknowledge choices made and make new ones. I find creative and wonderful ways of bringing in money whiles nurturing my son. And that’s including the fact that we already have sought the best iva company to repay our mortgages. We teach Mommy and Me Yoga together. We stretch, sing, dance, and play with other mamas and little ones. It’s delightful.

And when my son sleeps, I write.

I write and weave together story, philosophy, and gratitude. I knit the love I feel into the words appearing on my computer screen. I smile, marvel, and sigh as tears and syntax flow.

Being a mother awakens a fierce and gentle strength. I know I’m not alone in staying up late at night while my son sleeps to bring in extra money for the family. A “gap” exists between what my husband makes and what we “need”. It’s all about priorities. I won’t capitulate to pressure to return full time to paid work. Instead, I navigate as skillfully as possible, as fearlessly as possible, as boldly as possible, a way to give my heart , and my best, to our son.

These precious early years are priceless. They are worth more than all of the world’s gold. I’m investing in the future emotional health of this little one. I’m investing in the health of all of those who will one day cross his path.

I’ve never worked harder to stay-at-home. On good days, I smile at the irony of it.

I didn’t anticipate this and yet, I embrace it with determination and grace.

Jealousy, It’s Crawling All Over You

My mom used to sing a song to me as a child every time I got jealous. It started, “Jealousy, it’s crawling all over you. There goes your eyeballs…”
 

I’m jealous of my husband and his connection to our three year old. Sometimes I feel like a third wheel (I know it is normal; I Googled it). Nonetheless, I feel like a jerk for feeling jealous of my husband for having such an incredible bond with our energetic, spirited toddler. Three years old is such a fun age! Benjamin can express himself. He can open doors. He can lock doors. He can climb on top of a plastic organizer box and turn the light on in the living room. And oh yeah, he can work the Kindle Fire better than I can. And as I write this, I hear him say to his daddy, “I have your keys. I want to go in your car,” as keys jangle and more toddler murmurs come out. Have you ever been locked out of your car or home? Either you can’t find your car keys or you locked yourself out of your home. First thoughts are typically to turn to family and friends for help or a set of spare keys, but this may not work out. Next steps are to contact a Strong Hold Locksmiths. A locksmith can perform numerous jobs like changing of the locks and taking care of the dead bolts, but not many people are aware that they also know about automobile repairs and installing the safes in your house for storing the valuable possessions like cash and jewelry. A skilled locksmith will eliminate your sufferings in a short span of time, whether it includes problem giving keys or locks. You should be assured if you have a professional locksmith by your side. There are many kinds of locksmiths like car locksmith and safe locksmith; you can choose them as per your needs and according to the demand of the situation.

Benjamin is very attached to his father.

My husband and son

I was on the receiving end of this affection when I was breastfeeding. Mama was what consoled him. And all I wanted was a little time for myself. Just a minute to go to the bathroom alone. Now, I could go to the next town over and use the restroom at the mall and perhaps my son would not notice I was gone, as long as Daddy was there.

Now he reaches for Daddy, sits on Daddy’s lap, plays with Daddy, wants to be with Daddy all the time. He is a daddy’s boy. (Now Ben and Daddy are playing spaceships. Daddy with Buzz Light Year and the Rocketship and Ben with the Star Wars X-Wing and Luke Skywalker. They are engaged in their own vocabulary of play, zooming around the galaxy. In fact, I was referred to as the Mommy Nebula, as my husband hid Buzz’s spaceship behind me. Ben came giggling along with Luke Skywalker in hand.

Most of the time, I sit back and grin from this bond they share. This language they only understand, played so easily and organically. I try to play like Daddy does and my play missions seem forced and well, dumb. Daddy’s play language is filled with intricate expressions only a grown up boy could articulate. Mostly, I am grateful, full, and happy about it. It is just those tiny (sometimes big) moments when I get completely rejected. “I don’t like you. Go away. I want Daddy.” Ouch, punch to the mom gut.

I thought this might be because I recently went back to work. I started a part-time job at the end of March. My brother-in-law (Uncle Tim) and in-laws (Grammy and Pa) watch Ben while I am at work. Three weeks before I started working, I tapered the lengths of my excursions out of the house. Ben would cry hysterically for me when I left him in the house with my brother-in-law. I felt so bad leaving him and so elated once I was gone. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. My first few trips were to the library where I basked in the silence and worked on research for a book.

Left to right: My husband (Daddy), my son (Benjamin) and brother-in-law (Uncle Tim)

Then I would miss him after an hour. I started with one hour, then two, and then three, increasing the time every day until I reached the hours I would be gone when I returned to work part-time. My brother-in-law said Ben would cry for a little bit and then he would be fine. Eventually he didn’t cry anymore.

When we first started this process, I only wished that the crying would stop. Then it did, and I kind of (OK — completely) wished he would miss me that much again.

Eventually, after many monologues of self-doubt and insecurity about my choices of returning to work, I realized that this was just part of the process. Just part of parenting. It. just. was. It was normal for him to feel comfortable with my brother-in-law and my in-laws. He was in good hands and loving arms. But still, I wanted them to be my arms.

This parenthood thing throws me for loops at every turn, just when I think I have it figured out — the reset button is hit. Learn all over again.

***

Ben says, “Pick me up Daddy. Pick me up.” He settles in up on his daddy’s hip with a view from top of the world.

I marvel at this sometimes. The way Ben looks when he is up on his daddy’s hip, long three-year-old legs dangling. Ben beams; he is proud. The two of them are symbiotic. Their hearts wrapped around each other, visible from the outside.

Attached at the hip, father and son

As a mother, my heart is a vine and it reaches with invisible twines that wrap around my son’s. I feel this tug at each turn. Ben though, is sitting on top of his daddy’s shoulders, snipping the vine, letting go in some ways. I coil the string, and wrap it safely up for the next time he will need me. He does. He will. I will wait.

In the meantime, I have a little more free time. I should be writing instead of watching, with my green eyes. In fact, I had time after work this past Friday to stop and gaze at the flowers. There is a field of pink, red, and white poppies near my exit for work. I stopped at took some photos. This is something I would not have been able to do had I been in the car with my son, as it was near the highway.

 

Poppy field near exit ramp off highway (I pass this everyday on my way to work)
It’s all about the angle you look at things…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stopping to gaze at the flowers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mostly, my eyes are aglow with love and adoration for both my boys. I may envy their magic, but I appreciate the warmth of the fire from the sidelines.

Watching the magic, enjoying the muse

What else can I do? This is a normal stage for children and I appreciate my son has such a loving daddy. And I appreciate that I have such a loving husband. I’m lucky.

My Husband Has Something to Say

I’m so delighted to introduce my husband to those of you who don’t know him. He’s been wanting to share about our trip around the world from his point of view and took the time today to put his thoughts into words. I’m very proud of him, his commitment to our family and for the truly amazing and unforgettable gift of this journey together. Here’s Mr. Daddy…

My wife has done such an amazing job capturing breathtaking pictures and writing beautifully descriptive pieces of our journey so far. I have not felt the need to add any additional perspective from my viewpoint. As I was catching up this afternoon, I had the opportunity to take a full glimpse of our trip up this point. Seeing every picture, reading every blog and reliving every moment, has inspired me to put something into my own words and share it with you.

People often ask me what I am learning from this experience. The simple answer is…more than I can ever put into words or this format. There are so many things that may not seem important but are everything to me. Holding both of my boys’ hands and running through some new place that none of us have ever seen before. Watching the awe in their eyes (and mine) as we discover new ground, a new country or a new castle. Driving on roads that should not be driven on and seeing their pure amazement that we are paving new roads. I have learned that I am appreciating the journey more than the destination.

Sandy and I picked the countries we wanted to see and so far I have no regrets. I feel that the least pleasant of our destinations has given me the greatest personal rewards. It might be seeing people live such different lives than ours or the chances I’m given to really remove myself from my own day to day routines. It has awakened something in me that either has not existed or was long ago forgotten. This for me is the marvel of this journey.

Time with my family is the key. I have always tried to spend quality time with my boys. I have put emphasis on being the best father I can be. This trip allows me to be with my boys, all day everyday. I am witnessing how they develop constantly and they get to see me in a more complete light. I will never regret taking this time with my family and stumbling through this beautiful and sometimes rocky journey. It’s a gift that I haven’t finished unwrapping but I know will continue to be incredible and life-changing.

Best,

Dana