Respond with Sensitivity – Page 51

My Diaper Free Challenge

Today, I tried an experiment. Inspired by my application for a mentor position with the international organization Diaper Free Baby, I embarked upon a diaper free challenge for the day with my 4.5 month old baby.

I’ve been avoiding doing much diaper free time, although I’m a huge believer in the benefits – and practice – of Elimination Communication (EC). We’ve been pottying little D since she was 5 days old, holding her over the sink at first, then graduating to plastic potties once she reached 11 pounds and our arms began to ache.

Still, while a major reason I gravitated toward EC was its environmental benefits, I’ve been going through 5+ disposable diapers on an average day. And just because they say Seventh Generation on the package doesn’t mean I’m doing right by my descendants by using them (the principle upon which seventh generation was founded).
Continue reading “My Diaper Free Challenge”

Liking My Spirited Child

I was browsing– okay, I fess up–I was googling the term “spirited child.” I immediately came up with some book advertisements and then with a few pages that explained what a spirited child was. My son is a “textbook” spirited child. The next few pages I came across were things like “taming your spirited child” and how to “cope” with having a spirited child, how to “survive.”

I am not big on always using positive words. I am actually somewhat of a self-proclaimed pessimist and don’t mind that I look at the glass and see it as half empty. I have had troubles with that before. Wishing I was more “positive” and “upbeat” but the truth is this is the way I am and if I am to embrace the way my son is and teach him how to embrace himself I will need to start by embracing myself. Fairly basic priniciple but easier said that done.

Now I understand how difficult it can be to have a spirited child. Though in some ways every child has their rough points. It is difficult to be a parent period. My son has had me in tears of frustration and exhaustion wondering if I was going to make it until bedtime only to find no relief because he wouldn’t sleep. If you have a spirited child, I don’t have to explain this to you. You are already nodding your head and going through your own personal lists.

I in no way think that I need to “tame” my child. He is not going to change. He is going to be spirited for the rest of his life. Thank goodness! He is never going to be boring! He is going to be a creative and passionate person. I would not want to take that away from him. I don’t need to survive raising him. We both have to find a way to embrace our life today and all the tomorrows that are coming.

Here are just a few things that I have learned about my spirited child and that have helped me to embrace him and have helped him to organize himself.

My son needs time to organize himself, I need to make that space and time for him. Since he is so disorganized he has had to learn discipline early, he has to discipline his mind and body, I can’t do that for him, but because of his age I have to help him identify his times of overload and help create the space he needs to organize himself.
It works best if I let him know everything that we will be doing and where everyone is. This is no small feat sometimes considering we live in a community and there are 13 people here. He doesn’t feel “right” when he doesn’t know or understand what is going on, it creates confusion.
My son can be loud and mean on occasion. This has to do with being a toddler but also has to do with him being spirited because he does not easily identify that he has hurt someone. This is not okay because no one wants to be around a child that is inconsiderate. I don’t want to be around a child that is inconsiderate! Appropriate discipline should be decided on before something happens because it is easy to become angry or frustrated with a spirited child. Discipline needs to happen immediately as a spirited child does not have a great attention span.
A spirited child definitely changes a household (all children do) but they do not need to rule the household. Adjusting schedules so that they get a good amount of sleep and are not too distracted to eat is important but it is also important to be able to flex a schedule a bit without having your child freak out and ruin your time. Planning favorite stops, or for us, favorite snacks or activities along the way works great, something along the lines of “We are going to the coffee shop. They have toys there. Won’t that be fun?” We limit our time there so that we don’t push him too far and then suggest that we head to Target and while we are there we will get a chocolate milk. We do not bend to demands but calmly repeat exactly what we said we would do before, “No book today honey. I told you we were getting a chocolate milk remember? We’re going to do that now.”

None of this guarantees that we won’t be pulling our hair out at the end of the night but they are a few things that I have found that work for us. I also have found that it is very important that I get a little “me” time, especially if we have had a rough week. It doesn’t have to be much but it is extremely necessary.

In conclusion, why is it important that we discuss our spirited children? Because we want to do more than love our little ones, we want to like them and want them to become likeable people.

Any other spirited children out there? What do you all do to handle difficult situations? How about everyday life?

Gentle Parenting Ideas Series: Getting Into the Car Seat

This post is the second in a series about gentle parenting through potential power struggles with your toddler or preschooler. Each post will give you ideas and examples for using love, patience, and creativity to work through some fairly common areas of concern: brushing teeth, getting into the car seat, meals/eating, shopping, diaper changes, picking up toys, traveling, transitions, and more. I welcome your gentle/respectful parenting ideas and feedback.

In case you’re arranging for a vacation outing or a business trip, you would like to form proper bookings and reservations in order that the trip are often successful. you’ll got to arrange for transportation, including the airport taxi, among other transport reservations. Considering that a lot of companies offer taxi services, it’s important to perform some online searching about the services available within the region, because of the web , which has made the method of finding the proper taxi company easy. By reserving a relaible taxi perth company before time it’s possible to decrease the travel complications particularly to unfamiliar locations.

Ideas to Make Getting Into the Car Seat a Positive Experience

Build Time In: if you know your toddler is always going to ask to “steer” the car for a minute before leaving, build an extra 5 minutes into your getting-ready routine so that you will have time to indulge her. And take heart, it won’t go on forever. They’ll be excited by the idea of steering (or climbing in the back, or honking the horn, etc.) for a few weeks, and then they’ll get over it. Ask yourself this: if all it takes to make your toddler’s face light up is to let her steer the car for two minutes a day, why would you not want to do it? (A story about the picture on the right: when Kieran was about 9 months old, every time we got in the car, he had to play peek-a-boo with papa. Every.Time. If we didn’t do it, he would SCREAM. It got old, but after about 5 weeks, the game lost its allure. That’s happened over and over in various forms, and I’m sure each variation is sparking some new set of neurons in his brain, which is why we play along.)

The most common purpose vehicle wraps serve is definitely advertising. But they’re useful for other applications as well. They’re a great way to personalize a vehicle in a way that is less permanent than paint. For example, in the United Kingdom, trains are often transferred from one company to another. Vinyl wraps are used there as an easily-updated way of applying each company’s livery. Also – cool fact of the day – race cars use vehicle wraps because they’re lighter than paint. Click here if you want to know more about the commercial vehicle wrap new orleans louisiana.

That’s actually one of the major benefits of vehicle wraps: they’re really easy to deal with. Nowadays, they’re made from special types of vinyl with features like air channels to prevent bubbles. They can even come with microscopic glass beads, which block the adhesive and prevent it from taking hold until the decal is in perfect position, at which point it can be squeegeed down. That means the vinyl can be applied and taken back up as many times as needed during the process without ruining the adhesive. Vehicle wraps are the huge graphics decorating the cars, buses and even subways you’ve seen around. Typically used for advertising, they’re everywhere, but not a lot of people know exactly what they are. Here are some things you’ve probably been wondering about vehicle wraps.

Ticket to Ride: have a hard time getting them to move toward the car? Give them a “ticket” for the train (or the boat, airplane, etc.). Make a show of it. Say “all aboard!” as they’re climbing in. In our house, Kieran is the conductor and I am the engineer. Modern used cars also have the benefit of history reports, on used cars Ottawa services can find quality used cars. Are you a car fanatic? Are you obsessed with how your car looks? Then you will hire the best detailing for cars services, this section on finish and damage repair topics is very popular. These reports will show you its ownership history, any accidents, and any title issues. This can help you avoid vehicles that might have some big underlying issues.

Buckle a Baby in: let your toddler buckle his favorite doll or stuffed animal into another seat belt. Sometimes letting the toddler “mother” another baby will help them feel better about things.

Choose a CD: have a CD selection accessible in the car or on the way out the door. Let your toddler pick the drive time music.

Make Her Look Forward to the Drive: try making your car rides fun and something your toddler will look forward to. Play “I Spy” on the way to the grocery store. Sing silly songs in traffic jams. See how far you can count while waiting for a red light to turn green.

Blast-off: buckle your toddler into the “spaceship,” then do a countdown as you blast off (out of the driveway). You could also make a show of putting on your space suits before getting into the car, talking about the planets you are passing, etc.

Musical Car Seats: if you have more than one toddler and they are in the same car seats (both rear/forward facing, straps in the same slots), let them choose what car seat they’d like to sit in.

Snacks: for when things really get tough, keep an arsenal of healthy (and non-messy) snacks handy.

Let Him Buckle Himself In: there will come a point when your toddler wants to do everything by himself. Buckling themselves into their car seats can be a very empowering experience. Just make sure that the straps are fit securely/properly on your toddler after he has buckled them.

Sing Silly Songs or Songs with Hand Motions: sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Head Shoulders Knees & Toes, anything that lets your toddler sing along, move in a silly way, and/or laugh while you get the car seat buckled.

Race: On your mark, get set, go! See who can get to the car the fastest (but be careful of little fingers trying to close doors). See who can buckle their seat belt the fastest (this often works for us when we’re trying to leave and Kieran simply does not want to go). See who can buckle their seat belt and sing the ABC’s the fastest. You get the picture.

What ideas do you have to help make getting into the car seat a good experience?

Finding Grace and Love in Potty Training?

Potty training. Again. While I’ve done this twice already with varying degrees of difficulty, I still find the process to be exhausting. Most days, I want to throw all the cloth diapers out the window – other days I want to chuck the potty seat and trainers along with my determination to teach this skill.

What transition are you working on? Moving your child from your bed to a crib, weaning from breast milk to bottle or cup or giving up diapers in exchange for the potty are not small tasks. And even if you’ve done them before, the reality is you’ve never made this change with this child. It’s all new to him or her. Some changes come about quickly while others drag on stubbornly. That’s where we are with potty training.

Before giving up (or forcing my will upon the poor child), I’ve found it’s helpful to examine my motives behind making the transition at this time.

Motivations for change often fall into three categories:

Shame/embarrassment. You know you should have taught this skill sooner but didn’t. Maybe you waited until your baby was nine-months old before introducing a bottle. (I’ve been there.) Or you waited until your four-year-old became so big that you can no longer sleep in your own bed comfortably and must demand they sleep elsewhere. The logical part of your brain knows that developmentally, there is no reason why your child is unable to make the change. But the emotional parent part of your brain is too afraid to make it happen.
Anger/resentment. Do you feel so tired of the way things are and find yourself blaming your child? Maybe you wonder why they can’t just do (or stop doing) this one thing. After a lot of introspection, I realize I’m probably in this category. I don’t feel resentment, but after more than eight years of changing diapers; I’m very, very tired of it. Perhaps I’m ready to move on whether my daughter is or not.
Competition. You really want to tell the grandparents, or other moms, that your little prodigy accomplished this transition easily and early. You want to brag a little about whatever milestone would give you this edge on being a good mother. It sounds shallow, and you will probably deny you’ve ever felt this way, but chances are you really are competing with another person’s timetable.

I’m tired of changing diapers, that’s for sure. I suspect there’s a little more going on as well. This is my youngest of three children and we are certainly not having any more. I stopped trying to hold on to the baby years mostly because she refused to stay in the baby phase, reaching all of her physical milestones many months before her older sisters.

But I also prefer to breeze through a transition without marking its passing; hoping to avoid any sadness or longing on my part. She gave up breastfeeding sometime in her 17th month, but I do not have a memory of the “last” time nor did I want to dwell on it. I loved breastfeeding and while a part of me misses this connection; I knew that marking an official end would be too painful. We simply moved on.

Potty training will also mark an end to my baby and toddler years. This independence will mean I no longer have any babies in my care. No more diapers. While it will be sweet freedom, it will also mark a major transition for me as a mother. Dragging out this transition for so many months just prolongs the pain.

I’ve come to realize that the one thing that is required of me at this time is love. My daughter will be potty trained in the near future. (I sometimes chant this just to convince myself.)

It’s my job to love her, to love the stage we are in and to use this love to fuel my patience.

It’s this love that will also lift me out of sadness when I realize there are no more babies, no more toddlers and someday, no more little girls in my care.

So, I’ve made a few changes to how we go about potty training. I removed the changing table from her room. We don’t use it anyway and it helps us solidify the transition taking place. I also added disposable diapers to my shopping list. While we use only two diapers a day for nap and bedtime, I need the mental and physical break from washing them. We’ll continue making the transition using consistent behaviors, but I’ll relax my timetable and renew my love for caring for a toddler.

Mom Dare: Life is filled with one transition after another. Look at what changes you are trying to make in your life and with your children. Examine your motivations, remove the negative emotions and concentrate on love. Use this positive emotion to feed your actions each day as you bring about a positive change.

The Room of a Teenage Boy

The sign on the door was hardly welcoming. It read, “Warning! Restricted Area. No Trespassing. Use of Deadly Force Authorized!”

I was invited in. The younger siblings in the house tried to prepare me before entry, thinking I’d be taken aback at their brother’s taste in décor. It was a small room. The walls were painted the color of a cloudless blue sky on a summer’s day. However, only thin strips of blue paint were showing between the larger-than-life sized posters of Led Zeppelin and the Bratz.

The dresser on one wall held an impressive stereo and a stand of CDs that included a variety of discs from rock to blues. A guitar leaned against the dresser. It was easy to imagine listening to Led Zeppelin at full volume, with guitar in hand, feeling yourself part of the spike-haired, ominous-looking group of musicians looking out from the posters on the wall. Teen rooms should have several comfortably organized areas: a sleeping one, a study one, a hangout if possible and of course, the storage should be organized at its best, with all the possible creative Storage Solutions. First of all, define the style of the room: industrial, vintage, modern or any other that your teen boy likes. This unique clock will be a great modern addition to a teenager’s bedroom. Each piece attaches separately and different colors are available to match any decor. Upscale your kid’s room while keeping it with a theme he loves! Dutch Antiques have a good sort of antique clocks, antique barometers, scientific instruments, steam engines and other interesting antique items purchasable .When your clock has missing parts, you’ll calculate us handy craft the replacement to suit its original age and elegance . Additionally, our clock maker’s experience and our extensive library of resources allow us to take care of that authenticity. For barometers, on the opposite hand, their workshop features a range of parts for replacement or restoration. They also restore painted dials and cabinets once you need us to. Clock repair perth and restorations Specializing in full restoration of movement, dial, case, woodwork and brass work.

Boy’s furniture is extremely functional. It’s one among the few necessary items in these rooms. this might mean that it’s really the sole style that your son really allows you to bring into the space. this is often why it’s really important to seek out one with a trendy so you would like to form a press release together with your furniture. This might really be the sole decorating decision that you simply got to make. Here are all different sorts of choices available at toildrop woodworking that you simply can bring this type of room to actually add a really specific design style.

Wood may be a very quite traditional material for this space. it’s a touch little bit of a masculine feel thereto . the sort of wood that you simply accompany is basically getting to dictate the general feeling of the space. as an example if you’ve got an oak desk it can feel traditional or maybe country. an alternative choice would be to travel with pine. this is often quite inexpensive and it really doesn’t have tons of grain thereto . you’ll be rustic or simply a touch bit minimalist counting on how you decorate the remainder of the space . A darker stain finish are often how to feature a touch bit more sophistication to the present quite space without being too feminine.

The opposite wall held two shelves of books about baseball and several trophies won at little league games. And if you are finding that you have too much stock or equipment then a great tip is to use some business self-storage as it’s a cheap and reliable way of storing business stock. I suddenly recalled that at the assembly at the end of his seventh-grade year, this boy gave a talk about the lessons of morality that can be learned from the rules of baseball.

A large poster with a picture of Albert Einstein hung among the posters. Alongside Einstein’s image were his profound and thought-provoking quotations about life and the universe. Behind the door was another bookcase that held a Bible, a prayer book, and several books about philosophy and religion.

If I could change the sign on the door to this room, I’d hang one that reads, “Maturation Unfolding. Occupant is in the Vital Process of Integration. Please Enter with Respect and Honor.” Israeli parenting educator Shoshana Hayman explains….

The Slow Road to Weaning

My toddler Jacob is now 2 years and 2 months old. He breastfeeds several times a day, especially at naptime or at night. Nursing remains an important source of comfort for him. And yet, I am slowly noticing shifts in Jacob’s nursing patterns. For example, at night now I can often re-settle him without nursing. And on a few occasions he’s stopped playing, laid down and fallen asleep all by himself. When we’re out of the house or doing something fun, he can go hours and hours without nursing. And I have noticed that my milk supply is slowly decreasing.

Jacob is not my first nursling. I weaned his older sister, Hannah, when she was 34 months old. But no two children are the same. Hannah’s nursing style, and by extension her weaning style, was very different from her little brother’s. She still nursed 7 or 8 times a day at 2 1/2 years old. Jacob nursed 5 or 6 times a day at 1 1/2 years old. Hannah refused to go to sleep without nursing until she was almost 3. Jacob is much more easily settled with just a pat on the back.

I took an active role in Hannah’s weaning when we reached a point where the relationship wasn’t working for me. I started with partial weaning, using techniques like “don’t offer, don’t refuse”. We worked together to find things to replace breastfeeding – both food and comfort measures. I was worried that I would damage our relationship in some way through weaning, but I am happy to say that it didn’t.

My son Jacob eats breakfast in style

Through my experience with Hannah I’ve come to view weaning, when handled gently and respectfully, as just another step on the path of childhood. All of the groundwork that you’ve laid throughout your breastfeeding relationship, and through attachment parenting in general, will not be destroyed when the time comes to take the next step. Those ties are strong. And as children get older, they develop skills that help them to connect in other ways. They become more ready to leave nursing behind.

While I took a fairly active role in weaning Hannah, I can see that Jacob’s breastfeeding relationship may draw to a close on a different timetable and without my involvement. Honestly, I feel relieved at the prospect. I love our breastfeeding relationship, and I will look back on it fondly. But I also love that my son is moving in new directions and finding new ways of relating to me. And I am glad that he is finding his own way through that process. Or, at least, that he appears to be.

The only sure thing about breastfeeding is that it will eventually end. There is a bitter sweetness in that truth, and perhaps a lot of unanswered questions about when and how. I’m not sure that when and how breastfeeding ends are the most important things, though. The important things are striving to honor everyone’s needs as best you can, and enjoying breastfeeding while it lasts. Because the happy memories that you can take away from a positive nursing relationship are the real gift of the time your child spends at your breast.

Have you ever weaned a child? What was that experience like for you? Or do you have any thoughts on the weaning process? I’d love it if you shared in the comments!

You can catch up with Amber’s regular adventures on her blog at Strocel.com.

How to Beat the Dinnertime Disconnect

A few nights ago, my family went to a popular local pizza restaurant. Soon after we were seated, a family of three was seated at the booth next to us. My eight year old son said that he recognized the boy in the other family from school; they were in the same grade. The girl in that family appeared between one and two years younger than my own five-year-old daughter. The only other diner at the table was their mother.

After my family had placed our order and we were all busying ourselves with the puzzles and games on the children’s place mats and talking about our day, I would occasionally take a quick glance at the family at the next table.

I saw the kids involved in their own activities. The mother was absorbed in her Kindle, an e-book reader. There was no conversation. There was no interaction. The sister played by herself, the brother played by himself, and the mother was fully absorbed in her own activity.

Meanwhile at our table a antique one, my family was abuzz; my daughter and I were doing the crossword on her place mat, my husband was playing the dot game with our son on his place mat. We talked about their school day. We told some jokes. We talked about pizza.

When our food arrived, we all dove in. We talked between bites. Sometimes my kids talked during bites. Yeah, we gotta work on that.

When the other table’s food arrived, the mother packed up her Kindle. I was relieved to see that; I love to see other families interact!

While my family was still eating our dinner and the conversation had moved to whether or not we were going to attend the State Fair, I chanced a glance at the other table. The mother’s Kindle was still put away, but in its place was an iPhone that held her complete attention. The kids ate silently. The siblings didn’t talk amongst themselves. As the mother was absorbed in her iPhone, the mother wasn’t engaging them in conversation, either. The family was all together, yet they were all alone.

I don’t begrudge that woman’s use of the Kindle and the iPhone. In fact, I myself own both of those devices and I thoroughly enjoy them! What caught my eye was the lack of interaction. Kids can’t learn the art of conversation unless they are taught. My husband and I believe that one of our roles as parents is to set examples for our children. As such, we have strict rules: there is no reading at the table nor are phones allowed at the table. By asking questions and starting conversations, we are teaching our children how to be conversationalists; we are teaching them how to be with other people in an increasingly solitary world.

It could very well be that the family wanted to engage in conversation at home at our antique furniture livingroom, Large antique inventory of Dining Tables includes 18th, 19th, and 20th century French, English and Italian Antiques. Just didn’t know how to begin. Starting a dinner conversation is very easy! One great way to start is with a round robin. Everyone at the table must supply an answer to questions and directives such as:

What was the best thing that happened to you today?
What was the worst?
What was the nicest thing you did for somebody today?
Use three adjectives to describe your day today.
In 60 seconds, tell as much about your day as your can.
What books did you read today?

Oftentimes, questions like these can open the conversation into more diverse topics.

Dinnertime conversation is a great way for a busy family to connect after a full day, provides ample opportunities to find out what is on each other’s minds, and is a wonderful way for a family to stay connected!

What does your dinner table look and sound like?

Sarah is a mother of two school-aged kids. She dislikes cooking, but immensely enjoys the dinner table.

photo credit: ednl

Empowering Children with Choices

Certainly there comes a point in our children’s lives where we need them to take on some added responsibility for themselves. Sometimes this happens naturally: Our child suddenly wants to be a “big kid” and do things for himself. As my son used to put it when he was 1 year old, “Me…do it…own!” The age in which young children want to do tasks and chores on their own is wonderful, isn’t it? The newness of their independence and capabilities is so exiting. It is the age of autonomy.

Then comes the next phase: After children’s realization of their sense of autonomy comes their developing sense of initiative. It’s a difference of realizing what children can do versus what they choose to do. Suddenly, parents find themselves nagging when they once had to simply suggest clean-up as a fun game. We become engaged in power struggles and start to dread the moment when we must announce that it’s time to stop playing and put the toys away because we’re very aware of the response we’ll get.

It is important that parents take care not to enable children during this stage, thus discouraging their developing sense of initiative, but to empower them. When we empower our children, they realize their capabilities and begin to learn valuable life skills. American parent educator Kelly Bartlett asks us to consider the following examples of statements regarding clean up time, as posted on The Attached Family online magazine…