What’s the Big Deal with CIO?

See what’s going on in Attachment Parenting this week on The Attached Family online magazine:

What’s the Big Deal with CIO?
Among parents of infants these days, there is constant debate about how to respond to a baby’s cries. On one hand, there are proponents of the “cry it out” method, where the baby is left alone to cry in the hopes that he or she will eventually stop. On the other hand, there are the attachment parents who respond immediately to their crying babies and attempt to soothe them using various methods including holding and cuddling. Margaret Chuong-Kim explains at http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2664.

Healing Birth, The Second Time Around
How do you heal from a traumatic birth experience? How do you put it behind you and find the inner strength to not only move on but to decide to do it all again? Read Heather Spergel’s birth story at
http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2658.

The Toddler: ‘Baby on Wheels’
It’s 8:30 in the morning. My husband looks at me on his way to work and says, “Have a great day!” Apparently he didn’t notice the poop on my shirt and disinfectant wipes in my hand. Or the scrambled eggs in my hair. Avanya Manasseh talks toddlers at http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2653.

A Touch Today for a Better Tomorrow
Beginning in the womb, your child becomes used to your touch. The swishing of the amniotic fluid and your gentle movements sway your child within the warmth of your body. This need to be touched by the infant never ceases and, if anything, becomes stronger once you deliver your child. Danielle Buffardi gives an overview of the importance of touch at
http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2650.

A Lullaby Massage Riddle
See if you can figure out the motions to this finger massage from Sybil Hart: A Lullaby Massage Riddle.

How to Use Family Meetings

No matter if yours is a family of two or ten, taking regular opportunities to get together and talk about “business” helps families connect and communicate. Much like staff meetings in an office, family meetings offer a chance to share successes, brainstorm solution to problems, make plans, and set goals. The idea is to create a specific time to talk about issues that may not have an opportunity to come up naturally in conversation.

There is no magic age for children to participate in family meetings, as long as they can share their voice. Children as young as  two years old may enjoy getting in on a conversation about the day. When children are young, family meetings may begin at the dinner table, as meal times are very conducive to discussion. Over the years, as more family members are involved, meetings may be held anywhere it’s easy to focus on communication and work through problems. American parenting educator Kelly Bartlett explains…

http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2620

The Room of a Teenage Boy

The sign on the door was hardly welcoming. It read, “Warning! Restricted Area. No Trespassing. Use of Deadly Force Authorized!”

I was invited in. The younger siblings in the house tried to prepare me before entry, thinking I’d be taken aback at their brother’s taste in décor. It was a small room. The walls were painted the color of a cloudless blue sky on a summer’s day. However, only thin strips of blue paint were showing between the larger-than-life sized posters of Led Zeppelin and the Bratz.

The dresser on one wall held an impressive stereo and a stand of CDs that included a variety of discs from rock to blues. A guitar leaned against the dresser. It was easy to imagine listening to Led Zeppelin at full volume, with guitar in hand, feeling yourself part of the spike-haired, ominous-looking group of musicians looking out from the posters on the wall.  Teen rooms should have several comfortably organized areas: a sleeping one, a study one, a hangout if possible and of course, the storage should be organized at its best, with all the possible creative Storage Solutions. First of all, define the style of the room: industrial, vintage, modern or any other that your teen boy likes. This unique clock will be a great modern addition to a teenager’s bedroom. Each piece attaches separately and different colors are available to match any decor. Upscale your kid’s room while keeping it with a theme he loves! Dutch Antiques have a good sort of antique clocks, antique barometers, scientific instruments, steam engines and other interesting antique items purchasable .When your clock has missing parts, you’ll calculate us handy craft the replacement to suit its original age and elegance . Additionally, our clock maker’s experience and our extensive library of resources allow us to take care of that authenticity. For barometers, on the opposite hand, their workshop features a range of  parts for replacement or restoration. They also restore painted dials and cabinets once you need us to. Clock repair perth and restorations Specializing in full restoration of movement, dial, case, woodwork and brass work.

Boy’s furniture is extremely functional. It’s one among the few necessary items in these rooms. this might mean that it’s really the sole style that your son really allows you to bring into the space. this is often why it’s really important to seek out one with a trendy so you would like to form a press release together with your furniture. This might really be the sole decorating decision that you simply got to make. Here are all different sorts of choices available at toildrop woodworking that you simply can bring this type of room to actually add a really specific design style.

Wood may be a very quite traditional material for this space. it’s a touch little bit of a masculine feel thereto the sort of wood that you simply accompany is basically getting to dictate the general feeling of the space. as an example if you’ve got an oak desk it can feel traditional or maybe country. an alternative choice would be to travel with pine. this is often quite inexpensive and it really doesn’t have tons of grain thereto you’ll be rustic or simply a touch bit minimalist counting on how you decorate the remainder of the space . A darker stain finish are often how to feature a touch bit more sophistication to the present quite space without being too feminine.

The opposite wall held two shelves of books about baseball and several trophies won at little league games. And if you are finding that you have too much stock or equipment then a great tip is to use some business self-storage as it’s a cheap and reliable way of storing business stock. I suddenly recalled that at the assembly at the end of his seventh-grade year, this boy gave a talk about the lessons of morality that can be learned from the rules of baseball.

A large poster with a picture of Albert Einstein hung among the posters. Alongside Einstein’s image were his profound and thought-provoking quotations about life and the universe. Behind the door was another bookcase that held a Bible, a prayer book, and several books about philosophy and religion.

If I could change the sign on the door to this room, I’d hang one that reads, “Maturation Unfolding. Occupant is in the Vital Process of Integration. Please Enter with Respect and Honor.” Israeli parenting educator Shoshana Hayman explains….

Empowering Children with Choices

Certainly there comes a point in our children’s lives where we need them to take on some added responsibility for themselves. Sometimes this happens naturally: Our child suddenly wants to be a “big kid” and do things for himself. As my son used to put it when he was 1 year old, “Me…do it…own!” The age in which young children want to do tasks and chores on their own is wonderful, isn’t it? The newness of their independence and capabilities is so exiting. It is the age of autonomy.

Then comes the next phase: After children’s realization of their sense of autonomy comes their developing sense of initiative. It’s a difference of realizing what children can do versus what they choose to do. Suddenly, parents find themselves nagging when they once had to simply suggest clean-up as a fun game. We become engaged in power struggles and start to dread the moment when we must announce that it’s time to stop playing and put the toys away because we’re very aware of the response we’ll get.

It is important that parents take care not to enable children during this stage, thus discouraging their developing sense of initiative, but to empower them. When we empower our children, they realize their capabilities and begin to learn valuable life skills. American parent educator Kelly Bartlett asks us to consider the following examples of statements regarding clean up time, as posted on The Attached Family online magazine…

10 Ways to Gently Respond When Children Say “I Can’t!”

Our son, Kieran, has been struggling with a bout of the “I cannot’s” lately.

“I cannot take my shirt off, you do it mama.”

“I cannot ride my scooter! I cannot!”

“I cannot glue the ribbon on.”

At first, I tried to isolate the problem:

Am I asking him to do too much? His “can’ts” are sometimes, but not always, in response to something I’ve asked him to do, so I don’t think they are the result of request overload or mere unwillingness. And they are usually in reference to a skill or activity that I know he can do, so they are not based on inability or even fear of failure.
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Does My Baby Need Routine Sleep Time?

Q: I get a lot of advice that babies and children do better if they have a routine way of doing everything, especially sleep time. Personally, it is very challenging for me to enforce a sleep time on my baby. How important is it to have schedules and routines for sleep, food, or other activities?

A: It is best to do what brings peace and joy to you and your family. The beauty of keeping your baby in your arms is that you get to know her well; this closeness allows you to respond to her cues rather than apply external theories. Any ideas that do not come from your baby are unlikely to resonate with who she is.

You are well connected to your baby and therefore find it difficult to oppose her direction. Congratulations! Nurture this healthy attachment. There is no need for you to “attach” to ideas that oppose your baby. She is your guide. When you respond to her lead, she learns to trust and rely on herself. Self-confidence and independence are the ability of the child to rely on herself and listen to her own body and soul.

American parent educator Naomi Aldort explains on The Attached Family online magazine (now available without logging in!)…

Trust Yourself, Trust Your Child, When It Comes to Cosleeping

I remember thinking the same thing many of you are thinking, “When will this baby (or child) sleep through the night? Am I doing something wrong by cosleeping?” Just like you, I was criticized by anyone who knew I coslept – family, friends, doctors. I even had one doctor tell me that every child he knows who bedshared grew up to become a psychopath. And he was serious.

As I wrap up on the spring issue of The Attached Family magazine (available later this spring to subscribers), a thought has popped into my head that I wanted to share with everyone and it goes along with the age-old saying, “This too shall pass”: Learning to sleep, to your child, is much like learning to eat solids or learning to use the potty. It’s a process. It’s something that is under none of your control. It’s something that has to happen when your child is ready.

And when it does happen, which it will, you’ll wonder why you spent so much time worrying about sleep when your child was younger. And for many of you, you’ll grieve for the time you spent cosleeping, because it is so wonderful to have that closeness at night and to stretch the time you have with your child around the clock, instead of trying to fit it in during just the daytime hours when we have other tasks or perhaps work outside the home.
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Attachment Parenting in The Rural Areas

I understand that many of you likely live in an urban area, and so this post may sound a little odd to you. I live in rural Nebraska – smack in the middle of farm country. There aren’t a lot of people here. For example, I drove 250 miles the other day and saw perhaps a dozen cars. I live on the edge of an average-size town, and the population is 450.

apruralareasWe’re used to isolation here. In some ways, it makes attachment parenting easy – not a whole lot of people here to pass criticism; in some ways, it makes attachment parenting hard – not a whole lot of people here to go to for support. The people who are here tend to have the same views, some rather narrow-minded, because there simply aren’t enough people to split into separate interest groups!

But I know there’s a need for AP support here. I get calls here and there, sometimes from parents, sometimes from La Leche League leaders, who want community AP support. Problem is, there aren’t enough people in any one town or even county, or even group of counties, to hold a formal Attachment Parenting International support group. So, I’m faced over and over with the decision, do I try to start a support group here?
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