discipline

Understanding Shame, part 4: Growing up shame-based

March 2, 2017

Editor’s note: This week, we offer you a 5-part series — originating in The Attached Family online magazine’s “Parenting Without Shame” issue — to help you better understand the development of toxic shame. Part 1 explained how trauma includes 3 components: Fear, Disconnection, and Shame. Part 2 explored Fear. Part 3 defined Disconnection. In this […]

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Understanding Shame, part 2: Fear

February 28, 2017

Editor’s note: This week, we offer you a 5-part series — originating in The Attached Family online magazine’s “Parenting Without Shame” issue — to help you better understand the development of toxic shame. Part 1 explained how trauma includes 3 components: Fear, Disconnection, and Shame. In this Part 2, we take a look at Fear. […]

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10 tips for nurturing attachment during the holidays

December 22, 2016

The holidays are an exciting time for children. The gifts, the lights, the decorations, the food, the family gathering — the list goes on and on. But in the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to lose sight of the values we want to pass down to our children, such as strengthening and maintaining a strong […]

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How little we really know about the topic of shame

December 19, 2016

Working on the “Parenting Without Shame” issue of Attached Family was unlike any that have come before. I didn’t realize, when I began, of how little I knew about shame as a topic. “Shame” is a term used often in parenting and parent education circles, but do we really know what shame is? So much […]

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Is it possible to parent without shame?

December 12, 2016

“Parenting without shame” is a hot topic on search engines. Google pulled up more than 5 pages for me of links with this search term. It seems that many parents are looking for ways to raise their children without shame. But is this possible? Shame is among the myriad normal emotions felt by humans in […]

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The root of bullying is shame

November 9, 2015

By Dr. Shefali Tsabary, PhD, clinical psychologist and founder of #EndShame. Reposted with permission. There is a new “discipline” fad going around: Your kid does something “bad” — you post it on the Internet. You put a sign around their neck that defines their “crime” for all the world to see. After all, when they […]

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To spank, or not to spank?

September 8, 2015

I recently came across a social media post that opened with the following phrase: “Have to laugh at people who are against spanking.” The post stated that spanking leads to a child learning respect and boundaries with the absence of any trust issues and hatred toward the parent, and so on and so forth. It […]

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Obeying out of fear

April 7, 2015

“A child who obeys out of fear will only do so as long as he or she is scared. A child like this never develops an internalized sense of right and wrong without being policed by a more powerful authority figure.” ~ Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma by Nancy Samlin How do you feel […]

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