APtly Said – Page 172 – Parenting with Attachment in Mind

Breastfeeding Twins?!

“Are you still breastfeeding?”

Every woman who breastfeeds her children will, without fail, at some point be asked that very pointed question.

“Are you still breastfeeding?”

It almost doesn’t matter how long you’ve been nursing for: someone is going to ask. At three months? Six months? A year? Doesn’t matter. Someone will ask you.

Sometimes the subtext is awe: “Wow! You’re still nursing your babies! That’s great!“ Most times, however, the questioner asks in a most impatient manner. As if there’s a deadline to meet and you’re missing it. “What are you doing still nursing those babies?”

In my case, the fact that I decided to nurse the twins in the very first place was a big surprise. My doctor (For whom I have the greatest respect.) made it very clear that by nursing the twins full time, I’d be off in some exotic land where few women in our area had ever tread. Then again, I was apparently setting records for birth weights and length of gestation, so perhaps she wasn’t too surprised with my decision to breastfeed.

Nursing hasn’t always been Easy Street, either (See my rant from the first month if you don’t believe me.). Don’t get me wrong: once you’re in the groove, nursing is easy. It’s finding your groove and staying in it that are the hard parts.

When I started out, I wanted to tandem nurse the twins, get them on a schedule and possibly get a little more sleep. Well, it turned out that the twins had a touch of reflux and were tiny geysers of vomit on a very regular basis until they were about four months old. Thus, instead of tandem nursing, I was serially nursing twins to avoid at least some of the puke headed my way.

I’ve been bitten, pinched, pulled, vomited on, gotten plugged ducts, swollen and inflamed breasts from missing nursing sessions, Emma developed thrush, and Logan developed a preference for one side over the other.

Even with all of that, nursing has still been one of the best things I have done for the twins and for myself. Also? I produce a helluva lotta milk.

Now that we are tandem nursing, I get a bit more sleep at night. The weight loss aspect has been fabulous (I gained 65 lb for the pregnancy and by 7 months postpartum, it was gone. No exercise, just nursing and normal life with twins. I imagine that if you exercised, the weight would whip off even faster. I’m just lazy.). The twins are very snuggly when cuddled up and nursing together. Sometimes they reach over and pat the other twin. Of course, they also sometimes poke and pinch the other twin or attempt to steal the opposite breast, but life is tough around here.

Emma nurses more than Logan does, so when he finishes first, he sits up and smiles at me and we get a little extra bonding in: nose kisses, baby hugs, giggles. When he tires of me, I let him slide off my lap and crawl around the room. Emma and I then snuggle up together. She will finish off Logan’s breast (Because there’s always more milk in there.) and then crawl all over me like a puppy. She also engages in Nurse-robatics: standing up while nursing, twisting around, getting into Down Dog position, attempting to climb over my shoulder all while still engaged in lip-lock. Ouch! She also pats my tummy, plays with my hair and checks my teeth.

You know, just to make sure they’re still in there.

I respond by nibbling on her fingers and chewing on her neck, so I think we’re even.

Let me leave you with some of my hard-earned twin feeding tips:

5 Tips for Successfully Breastfeeding Twins

Get a good book. I highly recommend Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More! Read it. Ideally before the twins arrive.
Be prepared to supplement with f*rmula. The biggest secret to nursing twins is to keep in mind that you may not have milk enough for two on the day they’re born. It took me a few weeks of pumping and supplementing with formula until my production increased enough to feed both of them fully. Be prepared to supplement and don’t beat yourself up over the fact that this, too, is another area where having twins is decidedly different from having a singleton.
Herbal supplements are your friend! Herbal supplements like Alfalfa, Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek will help increase your milk production significantly. Trust me! Or if you don’t trust me, read up about it at KellyMom.com.
Eat well. When breastfeeding twins, you’ll burn up about 1000 extra calories a day. You need to eat well to support your body’s ability to do that. Now is not the time to go on a diet to lose the pregnancy weight gain. It will come off. Be patient!
Drink water. A lot of water. I’m not kidding. Why aren’t you drinking some water? Go get some!

Now when someone asks, “So are you still breastfeeding those twins?”

We’ll answer, “Hell yeah!“

Keeping a-breast…

It began when you were very small,

No other source of food at all,

every hour, sometimes less,

you would suckle at my breast.

Everywhere we went they’d smile

supportive of us all the while,

You were young and cute and small

of course I breastfed, after all.

Strangers told me they were proud

in voices strident, voices loud,

that I chose to bare my breast.

They told me it was for the best.

Now that you walk, and run, and play,

our nursing support has become dismay!

Though you are still a babe to me

a big kid and breasts is all they see.

Despite the heads that shake away

We still nurse all night and day!

You are still my little one,

we will nurse until you’re done.

(Support breastfeeding, celebrate World Breastfeeding Week!)

Newsflash: Breastfeeding Mother NOT harassed for breastfeeding in public!

As a former journalist I understand what’s considered news, and yes, it ought to be news when a mother hears she’s not welcomed to feed her baby in a public place. It’s news because it really is normal and should be the norm to be welcome to feed your baby wherever and whenever you feel the need to respond to your baby. So, it makes sense that it is news that someone asked a mother to remove herself and her baby to the restroom, stop nursing on the airplane, or leave the dining establishment. And it makes sense that the related news covers the nurse-in protest planned and lots of “to breastfeed, or not to breastfeed in public” debates. While you want the public to be sympathizing with the mother and child, the discussion still wanders back to the real news, though, that the mother was breastfeeding, publicly.

It is hardly news now to read a story about breastfeeding publicly only to be told to stop or go elsewhere—it’s almost expected. Regularly, you can find such a headline in most any media – just Google it. So perhaps what almost could be news now is to breastfeed in public and not get berated, ousted, covered or refused.

In that spirit and the spirit of World Breastfeeding Week, for which I just participated in a 5K Walk and Stroll for Breastfeeding, I would like to share with you some of our favorite public nursing spots. And my news is that in nine total years of nursing we haven’t even gotten a negative look, much less a comment. Maybe they just didn’t dare. Maybe we looked like a beautiful greeting card photo epitomizing an expression (pun intended) of love. I am a La Leche Leader, and I know for some that might provide a sort of justification or explanation of my “bravado,” but certainly not everywhere I go do people know what La Leche League is, much less that I’m a Leader. Still, given the apparent rarity of public breastfeeding, as least in our neck of the woods, what else can it be but to be news to breastfeed in public without interruption?

There are already lots of good synopses on the confrontations related to breastfeeding in public places, so now for something completely different: Some amazingly routine, typical, uneventful nursing – milk and/or comfort – moments, that, of course, will never be average but not ever five o’clock news.

We like to nurse at Lowes. Yes, the hardware store–most often on the steps of one of those rolling ladders. As my husband shops, we are tortured beyond belief because I have to give my opinion and we cannot wander into an aisle sans hardware. Now, whenever we are in Lowes and the baby sees the ladder, it triggers his desire to nurse.

We like to nurse during worship. We can all pay attention, and it is even rather like a spiritual practice for us. I’m always ready to share Martha Sears’ statement about busting them in the mouth but have never had to. Plus, the service is always during naptime so what else can be expected?
We like to nurse at the library. Shhhh…

We like to nurse at brother’s ball games. Nursing can actually compete with the lure of running out onto the basketball court or the ball field in complete oblivion to the game being played.
We like to nurse at the theatre. When it’s time for sister’s solo, we don’t miss a bit – all while holding the video camera steady. The baby is not even supposed to be in there, maybe not the video camera either, but the ushers know I can keep him content.

We like to nurse in a booth at Casa Mexicana. Milk and tortilla chips. I confess to dropping salsa on all the children over the years. Another patron will invariably stop by and say, “I didn’t even know you had a little one with you. Your children are so well behaved.” I smile, full and full of myself for two seconds until the middle child begins trying to crawl under the booth, disrupting the table and making his sister scream, “Don’t touch anything, it’s gross!” causing everyone to quickly look – even the baby nursing- ow!

We like to nurse at parenting class. When I’m facilitating a workshop we have a tight schedule to keep. A roomful of parents cannot be asked to hang out while I tend to my baby for an extended time. A few seconds to get situated, so to speak, and class can continue and everyone is happy.
We like to nurse during communion at Duke Chapel. A fellow student of my husband’s saw me nursing and he was quite disturbed and wrestled with confronting me. As he moved through the communion line his heart was completely changed. After communion, he came to me and shared his original thoughts and how he was now convinced it was beautiful to think that the elements were passing from me to my baby.

We like to nurse at the grocery store. Tight in the sling against Mommy so all the shopping can get done. We make lots of friends this way, from people asking me if I broke my arm, to how they can get a sling for their daughter, to amazement that there is a baby in there.

We like to nurse during Spanish class, on an airplane, at the park, at the zoo, at a ballroom dance class, in a meeting, at the beach, on a train, on a boat, in a box, with a fox… Well, not with a fox. I don’t know what it is but it seems like we always have synchronized nursing while I’m leading a La Leche League meeting.

We nurse when it’s time and wherever we are. It is part of our, well maybe my, personal contribution to make breastfeeding just a bit more common and accepted—because the news is–it is still not. I hope to encourage other breastfeeding mothers, current and prospective. I’m sure my breastfeeding in public has also caused some talk, just out of my earshot, though. I know, however, the result for a few is they too have wrestled with their views and come to recognize the benefits and value to the baby, mother, family, and community. In any case, no one has ever challenged me or made me feel unwelcome. On the contrary, over the years many, many men and women have voiced their support and encouragement and shared their personal experiences. In our actions and sharing our stories, we’re making a change that helps families, including the littlest ones, participate in community.

Wouldn’t it be nice if that were the headline? “Mother, while nourishing child, stirs memories of grateful co-travelers and nourishes relationships, fosters community.”

Though we’ve nursed in some uncomfortable places, like the Lowes metal stairs, to meet baby’s needs and the needs of our other children and our lifestyle, I will say there’s nothing like the big olive green chair in the living room, sitting at the computer writing this blog, the cushiony rocking chair, or the comfy king sized bed.

But, us being at home long enough to nurse there? – That might really be the news.

–Samantha
Executive Director, API

Motherwear Podcast: Heather Cushman-Dowdee, creator of Hathor the Cowgoddess

Thanks so much to Tanya Lieberman of The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog for the following guest post in honor of World Breastfeeding Week. This post originally appeared on The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog.

My guest for this recording is Heather Cushman-Dowdee, creator of Hathor the Cowgoddess, shown to the left nursing and drawing in her kitchen.

This was a very fun interview. I got to ask Heather about how she draws, the inspiration for Hathor, and the time she baked breastmilk bread with 150 college students. Bonus knock-knock joke at the end!

This one is a bit long, but I just couldn’t bear to edit it down more. It was such a fun and interesting conversation.

You can listen right here using the player below, or download it.

Heather’s new book, Hathor’s Zines, Slings, and Do-it-Yourself Things, (cover to the left) is now available for pre-order!

Be sure to check out a few past posts featuring Hathor:

The Zoops (video)
Hathor on covering up to nurse in public

Hathor on Applebee’s breastfeeding policy

You can also check out more Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog podcasts.

World Breastfeeding Week- Supporting Nursing Mothers

World Breastfeeding Week starts on August 1, and runs through August 7th. The theme of this year is “Mother Support- Going for the Gold.”

Supporting a mother who is breastfeeding is so important. There are so many other demands that a new mother faces when nursing, having support can be invaluable to the mother and new baby to establish breastfeeding.

But did you know that nursing a baby past six months and has many health benefits for the baby and the mother? Sadly it seems that once a baby is nursed passed six months and beyond, support often turns to opposition?

Nursing mothers who continue to breastfeed past six months, a year, a year and a half, two years, three years, and even four years and beyond also need support. Likely they have heard negative comments about nursing their older child.

I am happy and proud to say that I nursed Ryan (my first son) until he was 26 months old. I wanted to nurse him longer but I was seven months pregnant with my second son, Cole, and my milk had gone, and it was incredibly irritating to me- pregnant hormones and all. I am still nursing Cole, mainly before nap time and bedtime, but he has shown no interest in weaning, and I don’t have any interest in forcing him to do so. In fact, it is a very nice bonding quiet time for us at the end of the day.

So many mothers who nurse a baby older than a year, feel like they have to hide it, and not talk about it. Sometimes mothers are made to feel like they are doing something wrong, or potentially stunting their child’s development, but that is not the case at all.

In honor of supporting breastfeeding mothers, who nurse their babies of all ages, I am posting one of my favorite pieces about breastfeeding, by Diane Wiessinger, MS and International Board Certified Lacatation Consultant (IBCLC). Perhaps you will learn something you didn’t know about breastfeeding, or maybe it will inspire you to support a breastfeeding mother to keep nursing a bit longer if she wishes to do so.

I think it would be great as a a society if we supported ALL nursing mothers, whether they were nursing a newborn, infant, toddler, pre-schooler, etc. It truly is one of the single best things a mother can do for her child, and that should be supported and celebrated.

What if I Want to Wean My Baby?

by Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC

Breastfeeding your baby for even a day is the best baby gift you can give. Breastfeeding is almost always the best choice for your baby. If it doesn’t seem like the best choice for you right now, these guidelines may help.IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR JUST A FEW DAYS, he will have received your colostrum, or early milk. By providing antibodies and the food his brand-new body expects, nursing gives your baby his first – and easiest – “immunization” and helps get his digestive system going smoothly. Breastfeeding is how your baby expects to start, and helps your own body recover from the birth. Why not use your time in the hospital to prepare your baby for life through the gift of nursing?IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR FOUR TO SIX WEEKS, you will have eased him through the most critical part of his infancy. Newborns who are not breastfed are much more likely to get sick or be hospitalized, and have many more digestive problems than breastfed babies. After 4 to 6 weeks, you’ll probably have worked through any early nursing concerns, too. Make a seriousgoal of nursing for a month, call La Leche League or a Lactation Consultant if you have any questions, and you’ll be in a better position to decide whether continued breastfeeding is for you.IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 3 OR 4 MONTHS, her digestive system will have matured a great deal, and she will be much better able to tolerate the foreign substances in commercial formulas. If there is a family history of allergies, though, you will greatly reduce her risk by waiting a few more months before adding anything at allto her diet of breastmilk. And giving nothing but your milk for the first four months gives strong protection against ear infections for a whole year.IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 6 MONTHS, she will be much less likely to suffer an allergic reaction to formula or other foods. At this point, her body is probably ready to tackle some other foods, whether or not you wean. Nursing for at least 6 months helps ensure better health throughout your baby’s first year of life, and reduces your own risk of breast cancer. Nursing for 6 months or more may greatly reduce your little one’s risk of ear infections and childhood cancers. And exclusive, frequent breastfeeding during the first 6 months, if your periods have not returned, provides 98% effective contraception.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 9 MONTHS, you will have seen him through the fastest and most important brain and body development of his life on the food that was designed for him – your milk. You may even notice that he is more alert and more active than babies who did not have the benefit of their mother’s milk. Weaning may be fairly easy at this age… but then, so is nursing! If you want to avoid weaning this early, be sure you’ve been available to nurse for comfort as well as just for food.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR A YEAR, you can avoid the expense and bother of formula. Her one-year-old body can probably handle most of the table foods your family enjoys. Many of the health benefits this year of nursing has given your child will last her whole life. She will have a stronger immune system, for instance, and will be much less likely to need orthodontia or speech therapy. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for at least a year, to help ensure normal nutrition and health for your baby.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 18 MONTHS, you will have continued to provide your baby’s normal nutrition and protection against illness at a time when illness is common in other babies. Your baby is probably well started on table foods, too. He has had time to form a solid bond with you – a healthy starting point for his growing independence. And he is old enough that you and he can work together on the weaning process, at a pace that he can handle. A former U.S. Surgeon General said, “It is the lucky baby… that nurses to age two.”

IF YOUR CHILD WEANS WHEN SHE IS READY, you can feel confident that you have met your baby’s physical and emotional needs in a very normal, healthy way. In cultures where there is no pressure to wean, children tend to nurse for at leasttwo years. The World Health Organization and UNICEF strongly encourage breastfeeding through toddlerhood: “Breastmilk is an important source of energy and protein, and helps to protect against disease during the child’s second year of life.”(1) Our biology seems geared to a weaning age of between 2 1/2 and 7 years(2), and it just makes sense to build our children’s bones from the milk that was designed to build them.

Your milk provides antibodies and other protective substances as long as you continue nursing, and families of nursing toddlers often find that their medical bills are lower than their neighbors’ for years to come. Mothers who have nursed longterm have a still lower risk of developing breast cancer. Children who were nursed longterm tend to be very secure, and are less likely to suck their thumbs or carry a blanket.

Nursing can help ease both of you through the tears, tantrums, and tumbles that come with early childhood, and helps ensure that any illnesses are milder and easier to deal with. It’s an all-purpose mothering tool you won’t want to be without! Don’t worry that your child will nurse forever. All children stop eventually, no matter what you do, and there are more nursing toddlers around than you might guess.

Whether you nurse for a day or for several years, the decision to nurse your child is one you need never regret. And whenever weaning takes place, remember that it is a big step for both of you. If you choose to wean before your child is ready, be sure to do it gradually, and with love.

1.) Facts for Life: A Communication Challenge, published by UNICEF, WHO, and UNESCO, 1989
2.) Katherine Dettwyler. A Time to Wean. Breastfeeding Abstracts vol 14 no 1 1994

By A Mama’s Blog

Celebrate World Breastfeeding Week, August 1-7, 2008

Today is the first day of World Breastfeeding Week, and so it is with great pleasure that I kick off API’s World Breastfeeding Week celebration with API Speaks’ very first giveaway! Read on for contest entry details!

Why Celebrate World Breastfeeding Week?
I believe that the breastfeeding support I received when I was a new mother from the wonderful women of Peaceful Baby and Cherished Children API, and great online resources like attachmentparenting.org, La Leche League, Kelly Mom, and AskDrSears, was critical to my breastfeeding success.

I started out, like so many new and expecting moms, with very little knowledge of breastfeeding. I was breastfed for about six months, and the few things I’d read indicated that trying to nurse for a year was an admirable goal. So that was my intention–to make it to a year–when Gabriel was born four years ago. Then I met someone who was breastfeeding a toddler, and talked to someone else who had tandem nursed her children for quite some time, and I started to think maybe I should adjust my goal.

I was one of the lucky folks who had no problems nursing beyond some very mild cracking, easily rectified with self-care, in the first few weeks after Gabriel was born. Even my emergency c-section did not affect my milk supply (despite dire warnings from my OB). So Gabriel’s first birthday came and went without any thoughts of weaning.

Then along came Lily, and again, I had my goal in mind. I’d nurse her for two years, as UNICEF recommends. By this time, Gabriel had weaned (never a comfort nurser, he was pretty put off by my lack of milk during pregnancy and only nursed occasionally after Lily was born and my milk returned), so I never really experienced tandem nursing in the true multiple-feedings per day for both children sense of the word.

In May, Lily’s second birthday passed, and again, no signs of weaning 😉 We have some boundaries set around night nursing (so mama can get some sleep) and around nursing in public, but for the most part, she has full access to the breast and still nurses 4-6 times per day, more when she’s teething, overstimulated, sick, growing…

Now I’ve been nursing more or less continuously for what will be four years at the end of next month. I feel so grateful for the women who have taken this journey with me (thanks CrunchyDomesticGoddess, A Mama’s Blog, Feeding Time at the Zoo, and many others who are not bloggers!), and know that I wouldn’t have made it through Lily’s marathon nursing sessions without that support.

So celebrate World Breastfeeding Week because we already know breastfeeding gives children the best possible start in life. Celebrate because public perception of breastfeeding makes a huge impact on a new mom’s personal decisions about breastfeeding. Celebrate because we have come so far from the formula craze that began in the 1950s. Celebrate as a confirmation of your commitment to creating a breastfeeding-friendly world.

And celebrate because you never know what just a little bit of support might mean to a new mom. In my case, it helped me become a committed extended nurser and breastfeeding advocate.

How to Celebrate

La Leche League provides the following tips on how to support a breastfeeding mama:

Give a mother the phone number of an LLL Leader.

Tell a first-time breastfeeding mother she is doing just fine.

Bring the new mother a nutritious snack and a big glass of water.

As an employer, accommodate a mother’s need to pump with a private comfortable space.

As the baby’s father, intercede with family and friends so that mother and baby can feel confident.

Write to legislators to support the enactment of laws supporting paid maternity leave and mother-friendly workplaces.

Contact an emergency relief organization and request training to help in emergency situations, especially in breastfeeding support.

Take care of your health and nutritional needs during pregnancy and lactation.

Set up or join a network of lactation experts in your community.

Provide transportation to a mother to attend an LLL meeting or visit a lactation consultant.

Advocate for legislation that enacts the provisions of the WHO/UNICEF Code of Marketing.

Ask for support and offer support to others.

Check back all week long as API Speaks features guest bloggers and other breastfeeding-related posts during World Breastfeeding Week! And don’t forget to visitor API Speaks Contributing Editor, the Crunchy Domestic Goddess’s great WBW giveaway for more chances to win great breastfeeding books!

And finally, the Contest Rules

Simply comment on this post and you will be entered to win a copy of LLL’s seminal book on breastfeeding: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. If you’re a blogger, give this contest a mention, note that in your comment and you’ll get an extra entry in the prize drawing. Non-bloggers can get an extra entry by going to API’s home page and subscribing to our monthly eNewsletter–make sure you mention that in your comment! Winners will be announced in Friday’s WBW Wrap-up! Don’t forget to check out the other great giveaways on Bloggy Giveaways.

🙂 Julie

The Attachment Parenting International Forums

As part of the Attachment Parenting International site redesign that was launched earlier this year, a new forum section was also created. I volunteer as the forum administrator and wanted to dedicate my API Speaks entry this month to introducing you to the API Forums. For those that have visited before, maybe you’ll learn something new. For those that haven’t, I invite you to join us in the lively discussion on the official API Forums.

Forum Statistics
The forums were launched at the beginning of April and in the few short months that we’ve been live, over 700 people have registered and created almost 2,000 threads with nearly 12,000 posts. Many new forum members have found their way to our site from Google and others from their local support groups.

Age-specific Forums
In addition to the general discussion area, the API Forums also have forums dedicated to practicing the Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting with children of a variety of ages. Whether you are just now planning to start a family or are watching your young adult child go out and start a new life, the API Forums have an area dedicated to these discussions.

Circumstance-specific Forums
API understands that there are certain parenting situations which offer unique challenges and joys when it comes to practicing API’s Principles. In order to meet the needs of API members in different situations, API has created an adoption forum, a forum dedicated to divorce and custody, an area to discuss parenting multiples and a section on parenting the special needs child.

API Reads
Book clubs are popular worldwide and API is joining the book club craze with the API Reads forum. Forum members can participate in lively discussion with a new book being discussed every other month. In addition to the discussions with other forum members, some authors have signed on to facilitate a premium forum discussion of their book. August and September 2008 will focus on Jan Hunt’s book, The Natural Child. For a complete list of future books, visit the API Reads Book of the Month Reading Schedule.

API Around the World
API is truly an international organization with forums dedicated to geographic regions within the United States as well as around the world. Connect with other families in your area through the API Around the World forums.

If you’re new to the forum setup, don’t forget to check out the API Forum Frequently Asked Questions page for easy-to-follow directions on getting started. I look forward to “seeing” you on the API Forums!

AP and Grandparents

We moved to another country when I was 6 months pregnant. Leaving all our extended families back home, they weren’t quite aware of our parenting choices.

We had decided to co-sleep with our daughter so we didn’t buy a crib/cot for her. During the early weeks, my mom was quite anxious that we might roll over her. As weeks passed she would ask me, again and again, when we would buy a bed for her. I explained her that we loved her being with us in the bed and they shouldn’t worry. Above the safety measures, they were also worried that she wouldn’t leave our bed once she got used to sleeping there.

We had the chance to go back home when our daughter was 4 months old. During this holiday, mom saw first-hand that co-sleeping was perfectly safe and it was lovely having your newborn beside you. It also made night time feeding easy for us.

Once our baby was 6 months old, she began to ask when we would start her offering solids. My daughter was not interested yet. But mom and grandma were very concerned. They’d ask me every time, as if I was depriving her of food. I’d tell them that, during the first year, solids are only for fun and tasting. As long as the baby is breastfeeding and gaining weight, there’s no need to worry.
During our visits to home, they had the chance to observe our child and our practices.

My mom loved wearing her first and only granddaughter and taking her on walks. We talked a lot about attachment parenting, about why we have to fulfill our little one’s needs during their childhood and how such children turn into well adjusted adults. We talked about extended breastfeeding and why we had the intention of co-sleeping until our daughter feels ready to move to her own bed. I’m very happy that she understands it all and has become very supportive.

Recently mom told me that my cousin and her wife decided to let their baby cry-it-out. Hearing this broke my heart, but after all, everyone has their own parenting choices and unfortunately there wasn’t much to do.

Last week, as I was speaking with my sister (she’s expecting her 1st baby, due in November), she told me that mom had told her to make a decision about the baby’s sleep arrangements. She added that deciding where the baby would be sleeping was very important, as any change to that affected the baby badly. I was glad to hear that she mentioned the family bed, and that she has normalised this in her head.

Now, if only she doesn’t ask me repeatedly when we would wean Defne now that she’s 18 months old!