Volunteer Spotlight

For the past several months I have posted a volunteer spotlight as a way to thank some of the various, wonderfully dedicated volunteers at our organization. It has been a great way to demonstrate the amazing work they do to help API continue to educate and support parents walking along their AP journey.

The following forms of support would not have been made possible without the assistance of our staff of volunteers:

•The creation of our brand new Web site with our new logo, colors and wealth of updated and accurate information available to parents worldwide

•API’s fabulous forum that now supports more than 700 parents and that number continues to climb each day

•FAQs that are well written and edited so that we can clearly answer some of the most common questions parents have

•Amazing digital and print publications which provide heart warming stories, research and AP news to families

•Many terrific affiliated support groups in communities throughout the world

•API Speaks with its editor, contributing editor and our list of insightful bloggers!

These are just a handful of the many offerings that API has been able to produce and put forth, especially over the course of a short 10 months, and they would continue to sit on shelves in our minds if we didn’t have dedicated volunteers willing to help them come to fruition. Our organization survives and thrives on the efforts of our volunteers.

A little known fact about our staff is that most all of them are volunteers. Very few people are paid within API. Even those people work more than the few hours than they individually contract for and so, are still technically volunteers. Another awesome fact is that we have over 100 volunteer leaders who work hard within their community sharing their Principles and values with others who either know, or are trying to determine, what theirs are or will be once their sweet babes are born. I could go on with more interesting facts but for the sake of space, I will resist the temptation. 🙂

The overarching theme for our volunteers seems to be that they each have this drive and zeal to help out when they know what the impact of their volunteering has on other families across the world. Some can only donate an hour a week and others are donating 10 or more. It all depends on their family’s circumstances and the time that they can afford to donate. I hope that they each know that even their one hour a week makes all the difference to the level of support that API offers to parents who contact us and for that, we will be eternally grateful.

This week I would like to tweak the usual Volunteer Spotlight and personally focus a bit on how our amazing, new Executive Director, Samantha Gray interacts with our team of volunteers.

Samantha has an amazing Curriculum Vitae and brings an exceptional level of experience to our organization (see the most recent issue of the Journal for more information). When she began in April she was greeted by staff members asking for a bit of an internal reorganization simply because we have grown by leaps and bounds over the past 10 months when it comes to internal support and external offerings. She came up with an excellent plan that has each of working much more efficiently and she did it all while considering our personal strengths and individual accomplishments. She has done a thorough evaluation of our organization and is furthering her efforts to ensure that we have a fabulous working environment and sturdy foundation to grow upon. Samantha encourages autonomy and believes in each volunteer’s capabilities but is always willing to work with you in ways that you need, or help you find the right course for what you are working on, if you ask.

She is a conscious, empathic leader, a champion of AP and API and it shows in the work that she has done in the short 4 months that she has been our Executive Director. API will continue to grow in unprecedented ways and it will do so under her capable and loving hands and each of us is thrilled to be working with her.

Thank you very much Samantha for all that you are doing to continue to increase the level of support and education that families receive from API. Your work and care is not unnoticed and definitely not under appreciated. Thank you also to your sweet family for their support and encouragement. We are glad to have them as an extended part of our team as well!

If you believe in the value of our mission to educate and support all parents in raising secure, joyful, and empathic children in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world, please join with us today.

Check out API’s list of volunteer positions. Please know that this list is not comprehensive. If you have talents and experience that you feel would further our mission but don’t see a position listed to highlight your skills, please email Brandy so that we can chat about the possibilities! We are also open to altering positions as needed to meet the needs of our volunteers and their families.

Warmly,
Brandy Lance
API Volunteer Liaison

“Volunteering is the ultimate exercise in democracy. You vote in elections once a year, but when you volunteer, you vote every day about the kind of community you want to live in.”
Marjorie Moore, Minds Eye Information Service, Belleville, IL, USA

API Speaks is seeking contributors

We are currently growing our API Speaks blogging family and are in search of a few new contributors (both moms AND dads are encouraged to apply). If you want to throw your hat into the ring, please read over our Contributor Guidelines to get a feel for what we’re looking for, then send an email to me (bloggers AT attachmentparenting DOT org) or Julie (apispeaks AT attachmentparenting DOT org) and we’ll add your name to the list for consideration.

Please note that you do not have to have a blog in order to write for API Speaks.

Thank you. 🙂

Amy & Julie

Cobathing

Bath time in our house is a social event. Since becoming the parents of a demanding toddler (armed with a growing vocabulary), my husband and I can hardly remember the days when taking a shower added up to a) showering alone, and b) getting in, washing up, and getting out.

In our childhood, my husband and I both remember bathing and showering with our siblings and mothers, probably out of convenience and because bathing together equaled more playtime (does anyone else remember playing with tub town toys?). However, once we reached a certain age, our parents designated separate bathing times for each person; co-bathing became something special that only small children could do, and bath playtime was all but lost.

Fast forward a few decades to the present. Nowadays, showering is a two-person activity and sometimes a group event. When Annabelle was a newborn and even a baby under age one, we bathed her in our tub or placed her in a toddler tub with natural bath products. This worked swimmingly so far as getting her clean was concerned; however, she howled with disapproval whenever mom or dad tried to sneak off to the tub by their lonesomes. Eventually, being the swift thinkers that her parents are, we realized that our little one might be more content if we simply invited her to bathe with us. And well, she is.

On a typical day, Annabelle likely showers twice in the morning, once with my husband and another time with me; and if it’s been a particularly messy day or we’ve been at the public swimming pool, she showers yet again. Most of the time, she sits down in the tub and plays with her toys while one of us focuses on the business of washing up. My husband tends to shower first, so he takes care of soaping Annabelle and getting her clean. By the time I make my way to the shower, Annabelle is eager to join me for a second round of tub fun (though this time I shower and simply let her play with toys, collect dripping water with a cup, and splish and splash).

Bathing together serves many purposes for our family. As most folks in the western world do, we bathe for cleanliness. But now that our toddler insists (and I’d say rightly so) on bathing with her mom and dad (and sometimes both at the same time), taking a shower or running a bath invites play, allows us to bond, and offers the opportunity to relax and heal after difficult days. Additionally, cobathing allows breastfeeding mothers, like myself, to nurture their babies, soothe engorged breasts, and to enhance milk production. A La Leche League article recommends that parents of adopted babies nurture their breastfeeding relationship by bathing together. Another La Leche League article suggests that breastfeeding mothers of newborns who have had a difficult time establishing nursing try cobathing as a natural way to soothe mom and baby, connect with each other, and relax into the breastfeeding relationship.

For our family, cobathing is more often than not, a positive way to spend time together, to play, and stay clean and healthy. To establish a safe and fun bath in your family, you may want to check out Dr. Sears’ Bathing with Baby tips. What are your thoughts about cobathing? Does your family enjoy showering together or is bath time a sacred ritual for spending some time on your own?

World Breastfeeding Week Wrap-up & a Winner!

Thanks to everyone who celebrated World Breastfeeding week with us on API Speaks! I enjoyed hearing different perspectives on the breastfeeding experience and the importance of support. And I just loved Sarah’s hilarious breastfeeding story–I was laughing out loud!

I know everyone’s anxious to know who won the copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and I’m happy to announce that it is GrnMtnGirl! Congratulations!

Watch this space in the coming weeks. October is Attachment Parenting Month and we have lots of fun things in store to celebrate.

Something New

To celebrate World Breastfeeding Week on my personal blog, I challenged myself to come up with seven breastfeeding stories – one for each day of WBW. This one was the most popular.

Happy Hump Day!  Today marks the halfway point of the exciting holiday week known as World Breastfeeding Week.  Only a few more days to get the holiday shopping done.

And here I am, still plugging through with this challenge of coming up with seven breastfeeding stories – one for every day of WBW.  At the time, it seemed like a good idea, but sometimes when I sit down at the computer I wonder what words are going to pour from my nimble fingers.  To add to the insanity, this isn’t a challenge I read about anywhere, but something I just came up with on my own. I never claimed to be the smartest breastpump in the maternal care aisle.

So on this hump day, I thought I’d recount a humorous story from my breastfeeding days.  It is my opinion that breastfeeding mothers have to come equipped with a sense of humor; you can’t spend months and months with bodily secretions spraying everywhere without having a good laugh.

The problem however, is that a lot of the funny things that happen are situational in a you-had-to-be-there sort of way.  So it’s difficult coming up with a funny story that stands on its own.  I’m not sure this fits the bill, but its the best I could do.

It all starts with me.  I startle really easily. Really easily.  As in, my husband can be home, and I KNOW he’s home, but then he walks into the room I’m in and I look up and see him and get the pants scared off me.  I threaten to put cat collars on my family so I can tell they’re within 15 feet of me.  Still, he has a sadistic obsession with setting me up.

My daughter was a couple of months old, so my son was three.  I had just taken a shower, during which unbeknownst to me, my husband had told my son to stand right outside the bathroom door to scare me when I came out.  What a great, supportive family I have.

I opened the bathroom door, naked as a jaybird, and there stood my little son. Holy cow, seeing him right there when I opened the door scared the bejeepers out of me.  Which of course, was the effect my dear husband was going for.

So I opened the door, Son said boo, I screamed, and then…Niagara Falls.  Just when I thought I knew everything about breastfeeding, something new happened.  I learned that a huge scare, when preceded by a nice hot shower makes the milk GO!  Uncontrollably.  From both sides.  Shooting across the room.

A little trick about lactating is that if the flow starts an inopportune time, all one has to do apply pressure, and the flow will stop.  In public this can be discretely accomplished by crossing your arms.  The trick however, is that you have to remember this little tip.  Which I did not.

I was laughing so hard at the completely physiological response to being scared witless that I couldn’t do anything that involved common sense.  Instead, I just leaned over the sink and sprayed about ten gallons down the drain, which just caused me to laugh even harder.  Which of course, didn’t help matters.

My husband came in then when he heard the commotion, thinking that his cruel little plot had been successful.  When he saw the incredible direction his trick was going, (and was still going…and going…and going) I’m sure he felt quite proud of himself.

Several minutes later (still pouring into the sink) I finally did manage to turn my brain on and get everything stopped.

So here’s a tip that’s not in any breastfeeding resources – don’t get scared!

Breastfeeding while pregnant: trying at times, but ultimately worthwhile

Originally posted on May 25, 2008 on Crunchy Domestic Goddess

When I became pregnant with my son, my daughter Ava was about 20 months old and still nursing regularly. While I had friends who’s children had self-weaned when they became pregnant, I had my doubts that my “na-na”-loving kid would consider weaning for a second, even if my milk dried up.

At that age, Ava was still a comfort nurser, and still woke at night to nurse. After finding out I was pregnant I worked towards gently night weaning her by letting her know she could nurse as much as she wanted during the day, but at night the na-na had to sleep and she had to wait until the sun woke up in the morning to have mama milk.

By 22 months, miraculously (or so it felt) she was sleeping through the night. (Can you hear the angels singing? I thought I could. 😉 It was wonderful.) She was still happily in our bed, but no longer waking for na-na, and I was able to get the sleep I needed while growing a baby.

Of course, night weaning her did nothing to reduce her desire to nurse during the day, even when my milk dried up (somewhere around 16 weeks I think). However, as my pregnancy progressed, I decided that I wanted/needed to cut down on the number of nursing sessions per day for a variety of reasons. 1) My nipples were becoming increasingly tender. 2) My hormones were all kinds of crazy and the feeling of her nursing when there was no milk to be had sometimes honestly made my skin crawl. 3) I had my qualms about tandem nursing a newborn and a toddler.

The negative and skin crawling feelings were very much a surprise to me and I admit I felt guilty about it. I felt fortunate that I had a group of friends to bounce these feelings off of and was happy to learn that while all pregnant women don’t feel this way, my feelings were certainly not out of the ordinary and others had experienced similar feelings as well.

I used distraction to help reduce the number of times Ava nursed and my husband Jody helped out a lot too. We would ask Ava, “What else could we do to make you feel better instead of having na-na?” and often sang silly or happy songs together rather than nursing. It wasn’t always easy and sometimes I let her nurse even though I didn’t want to, but eventually (about a month or two before Julian was born), she was down to nursing only 1 time per day – before bedtime.

Before Julian was born we talked a lot with Ava about how he would be a little baby and need a lot of mama milk to grow up big and strong like his big sister. We really wanted to get the point across that he would be nursing all the time. And we talked up how she was a big girl and got to do lots of things that Julian was too little to do. I was also sure to let her know that we’d still have our “special na-na time” every night before bed. It honestly worked pretty well.

There were a few weeks towards the end of my pregnancy that I seriously considered weaning her all together. Like I mentioned earlier, my hormones were wreaking havoc on me and nursing her, even only once per day was hard because I had some seriously strong negative feelings that were hard to control. There were a few times that I had to tell her that I was feeling frustrated and needed a break and I would have to take a minute to calm and center myself before letting her latch back on. I think keeping the lines of communication open like that and being honest with her was helpful.

Part of the reason I didn’t wean her completely then was because I felt like it’d be harder to try to do that, than it would be for me to just suck it up and muscle through the last few weeks. I know that sounds horrible, but I knew that when my milk came back in and my hormones weren’t so crazy, nursing her would not affect me so. And I was right. It got easier, much much easier once Julian was born and the milk started flowing freely again.

At the end of my pregnancy, I remember every night I would lay down for some quiet, cuddle time to nurse Ava before bed, she would hold onto baby (put her hand on my belly), and I would wonder if it would be our last night together just the two of us before her baby brother would join us.

In retrospect, I’m glad that I didn’t wean her, despite my strong feelings because I think tandem nursing has been a nice bonding experience for the two kids. On the somewhat rare occasion that Jody is traveling for work and I’ve had to get both kids to bed by myself, we’ve shared some pretty special (though definitely awkward) times together with both of them at the breast, holding hands or giggling at each other, and it’s moments like that that I wouldn’t trade for the world. 🙂

I want to add that this is my experience only. Just because it was trying at times for me, does not mean it will be for everyone. It’s impossible to know how pregnancy and breastfeeding will go for each woman until she experiences it for herself and then can decide what is best for her and her family.

Amy @ Crunchy Domestic Goddess

Babywearing and Traveling: A Perfect Match

We are about to leave for our annual trek across the country to visit grandparents. I have been busy packing and trying to figure out how we plan to corral four children, including an infant and a young toddler, in the airport while we are on the go. I have been knee-deep considering borrowing friend’s double strollers, sit and stand strollers, gadgets to roll our toddler carseat making it into a stroller and such. It seems like there are so many options out there for transporting small children, but yikes, they all seem so heavy! How the heck do you manage all the kid-toting as well as the luggage-toting?

So. I have been thinking about soft baby carriers. Because, heck, I’m sure that is what got this whole babywearing business started in the first place: what to do with baby while on the go… There must be some collected pool of knowledge out there and this is perfect for a new mom or a mom to be, and for the ones to be moms soon if you are travelling pregnant use the compression socks online from the Scrub Store to help you avoid blood clots and more if you are travelling with another child. Are you worrying about how you’re going to keep those cute little piggy toes from turning blue this winter? Some of the most underrated, but essential, items a baby needs are socks. Socks tend to be a necessity we seldom put much thought into. I base my personal sock buying technique solely on what looks cute and comfy. The Deluxe baby funny socks for boys will add even more cuteness to your little dude’s look. Whether he’s into cars or space rockets, with four sizes available, there’s a pair to suit him perfectly. The material is mostly soft cotton, with some polyester for elasticity.

Now, usually, for a baby under a year, I bring my trusty ring sling. I like that I can see my baby and she can see me. I can keep her entertained by giving her sips of water and easy finger foods likes cheerios. When we have to pass through security, I can quickly and easily pop her out, send the ring sling through the scanner, and get her resettled on the other side. Nursing in a ring sling is easy and discrete for me, something I always appreciate in a busy airport or a crowded airplane.

Ok, so in the past, for a toddler, I have usually preferred a two-shouldered carrier that is quick and easy like my mei tai. Hmmm…This time I will be traveling with both an infant under one and a toddler ** clears throat, laughs nervously ** So this is my plan: I am thinking maybe an umbrella stroller (with a back-up mei tai tucked away to use if necessary) for the toddler, a ring sling for the baby, and just insisting on hand holding to keep track of the five and seven year old. DH can manage the carry-ons/ luggage/ carseats, etc.

What do you think? Any suggestions? How have you handled traveling with little ones in tow?

Extended Breastfeeding

There is nothing better in the world than having your 2-year-old give you a big hug and say “I love you” right before starting to nurse. The love that you are giving to your child from birth starts to show back once the baby matures and breastfeeding certainly helps with creating that special bond with your child. I remember when I had our first born and thought I was going to breastfeed him for a year because I thought that is what you are suppose to do. Our pediatrician, Dr. William Sears, was kind enough to explain the benefits of extended breastfeeding to me and open my eyes to the idea of child led weaning. It totally made sense to me. I was a working mom at the time as well so nursing after a long day at work really helped me to reconnect with my child and he looked forward to it also.

Our daughter is 2 now and in the so called “terrible twos” phase. Breastfeeding really helps to calm her down if she gets upset and gives her a moment to wind down. This has been really helpful at restaurants and other public places. I use a nursing cover with her when we are out and about. I never used a cover with our son but after discovering a nursing cover and how convenient it is when you are breastfeeding in public, I highly recommend one. It’s not matter of having to hide your breastfeeding, to me it’s more like having my own privacy and our daughter likes it too because it shields her from the outside distractions and gives her a moment of peace as well. Now that she is older she asks for the cover if we are in public places and she wants to nurse. It’s so cute that she associates that with public places and knows that we don’t use one at home unless there are other kids around such as our older son’s friends who might have not been exposed to nursing at home.

I’m forever grateful to Dr. Sears for helping me to realize the benefits of extended breastfeeding. Now I wouldn’t have it any other way. Each child matures at different rates so the time they wean varies. Our son self weaned at 2 ½ years of age, right after he potty trained himself. He was a big boy now and didn’t need/want breastfeeding anymore. It was the most joyful yet sad day of my life because my baby had grown up to be a little man of his own who knew what he wanted. Now at 7 years of age, he is the same way. He is extremely confident and social and caring child. He always wants to make sure people around him are ok. He helps the children at school who might not be considered “popular” so that they don’t get left alone. He is also so kind, caring and affectionate with his little sister and he knows how important breastfeeding is for his little sister. I contribute all this to extended breastfeeding and the strong foundation he got in the early years of life.

I’m interested in seeing how long our daughter will breastfeed. At times she tells us that she is too big to breastfeed but wants it still at the same time. It’s so cute to see her journey growing up and how she is thinking about being a big girl all on her own. Until she self weans, I’m cherishing these moments of nursing. I even cherish the night time nursings because it’s our special time together. Her little arms are wrapped around my body and she is so content. After nursing, she goes right to sleep and I lay down next to her. I feel so content knowing that I’m helping her to grow up day and night and I help her sort through her feelings during these sometimes difficult times of being a 2-year old by breastfeeding.

Reija

www.attachedmom.com
www.ciatara.com