Children And Puppies

After some of the initial furor over an article published in Time regarding spanking as an indicator of aggressive behavior in children died down, I had some time to reflect not only on the article, but the response to it.

As an AP family, we don’t spank, and the reasons behind that decision are many. However, I don’t want to get into the specifics of if spanking does or does not cause aggressive behavior, nor do I want to touch on the debate of if spanking is or is not abuse. Instead, I’d like to talk about spanking in terms of effectiveness and what parents who don’t want to practice it can do instead. This anxiety in dogs article can teach you ways to help manage your dogs anxiety. Our mission at Little Big Shots is to introduce to the world a revolutionary liquid mineral and antioxidant formulation and delivery system that will transform the pet supplement industry forever. You can check out LBS for your pets healthy life. Our proprietary formulation, Immune-D™, will support a dog’s healthy long life by enhancing the immune system and having a positive impact on the health and well-being of your beloved pet.

When I’m not writing or being a mom, I’m a veterinary technician at a large practice in Baltimore. I’ve been doing this for the better part of 13 years. I’ve been reading this dog blog for a while and I’ve learned a lot about house dogs tips. If pressed, I couldn’t even begin to estimate exactly how many hours I’ve spent with pet owners counseling them on the best way to approach their animal’s behavior. And when I thought about it, I realized there are some parallels between training a puppy consider Black Labrador Retriever puppy for the training find more info about those dogs and raising a well behaved child in this website . It is not easy to raise a dog that is why TreeHousePuppies has got many ideas and things than can help you in the process. Continue reading “Children And Puppies”

Hands Off Parenting

When my son, now 5 1/2, was one year old, he wasn’t pointing or waving. The pediatrician was a little concerned. Developmentally speaking, most children are doing both by a year, and the absence of those skills can be an early sign of autism.

I wasn’t worried though. My child had met or exceeded all his other milestones, was walking well and had no problems communicating. After our appointment, I went home and stewed for a bit because I felt she was being overly cautious and a little alarmist. And when she called a few days later with the results of his lead test, I brought up her concerns.

He wasn’t waving because it wasn’t something he saw very often, since I was a stay home mom and my husband left for work before he woke for the day. Once we made an effort to wave to him and each other, he picked it up easily. And he wasn’t pointing because he didn’t really need to. Anything he needed or wanted was either within reach, or I anticipated his needs, feeding him before he got hungry enough to ask, getting toys before he reached for them.

I was right, his development was fine, but there’s another point illustrated here, and that is that a parent can sometimes be too conscientious.
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Finding an AP-Friendly Caregiver

The Sitter Who Cried “Ferber”

An acquaintance of mine recently shared a horror story about leaving her five month old baby with a sitter for a few hours. The sitter was auditioning for a role as a permanent nanny, because the mother will return to work soon.

An hour into her outing, the mother started getting text messages from the sitter. The sitter expressed concern that the baby was crying inconsolably.

The mother responded with suggestions on how to help him calm down: walking with him in the sling, rubbing his back, bouncing him gently, giving him a bottle of breastmilk, singing to him.

Her mild feelings of discomfort soon led to the first twinges of panic when she received this text:

He won’t stop screaming!

When the sitter texted later that the baby was asleep, the mother felt some relief. Until she went to pick her son up and the sitter admitted “I had to let him cry it out – nothing else worked.” Continue reading “Finding an AP-Friendly Caregiver”

Away We Go With Parenting!

Parenting can bring out some pretty big emotions. Nothing kicks off a debate between adults quicker than the implication that YOUR/THEIR parenting philosophies might be half-baked…or wrong…or questionably legal…or safe. Say one of these words loudly at the mall, at your next family reunion, or at the office get-together: Circumcision. Co-sleeping. Breastfeeding. Spanking. Childbirth. These simple words can evoke so many different feelings depending on who you are talking to: Guilt. Pride. Jealousy. Regret. Joy. Continue reading “Away We Go With Parenting!”

A good relationship with my daughter is my “good enough”

Annika!
Annika!

Over the weekend I met with my Personal Renewal Group to discuss this month’s topic: Good is good enough.

I hastily read the chapter the day before our meeting. It did not resonate with me in the slightest, so I skipped all the questions and journaling exercises. The author was talking about her perfectionist attitudes about always wanting more. Never being satisfied with what was already good in her life.

As I sat listening to my friends talk about how they were hard on themselves, I realized I had misinterpreted the chapter.

In the chapter, the author talks about how she was always wanting more, more, more. How she never felt like she had done enough for a client and always thought the next thing would make her life better.

I am not that much of a perfectionist, so I didn’t think the chapter applied to me. I didn’t get it.

What it was saying, as my lovely friends explained to me, was: My good is good enough. If something in my life that I have labeled as good, is good, then all is well with the world.

I realized I needed to define my good enough so that when I’m getting down on myself for not having things as I would like them, I have something to fall back on.

Right now my good enough is just having a good relationship with my child. I have other goals for the future, but right now my goal is to set a secure base for Annika as she grows up.

I forget that sometimes and I get irritated that I can’t get other things done. Sometimes Annika wants sooo much attention, just sending a quick e-mail or cooking an easy dinner can be an hour-long task.

This week Annika has been sick and it’s been like that times 100. The clinging toddler was really starting to get to me.

Then I remembered that I needed to look at what was good today, right now.

Right now I have a good relationship with my daughter. The reason I chose the path I’m on right now is because I wanted that.

My other goals are on my priority list, but I only have a set amount of time to build my daughter up, construct a good relationship with her, and give her a secure base to hold on to when she approaches the world on her own.

So we left the house, and instead of gritting my teeth, I sang a song, I made faces at her in the mirror. I took her to the park. We played and ate. And when she insisted that she did not want to leave the park even though she was bleary-eyed and yawning, instead of getting angry, I held her close and whispered in her ear as I walked quickly to the car. There have been way too many screaming and struggling trips to the car lately.

So what’s my good enough? It’s always changing. I realize that. But for right now, today and tomorrow and the next couple of years, my good enough is to have a thriving and healthy relationship with my daughter. It’s hard for me because I didn’t/don’t have that. I don’t have a good model. So I need constant reminders and I have to read a lot of books to help me along this path.

As she gets older and more independent, I’ll have time for other things.

But for now, that’s my good enough. The rest of the world can wait. Every day when I get up and I spend time with Annika I remind myself that I’m doing this for a reason.

What’s your good enough?

Martha is an attached mama in Austin, Tx who blogs regularly at www.momsoap.blogspot.com

5 Ways To Care For Yourself Postpartum

As soon as the blue line appears on a pregnancy test, many women go to great lengths to keep the fetus growing in our wombs healthy. We may stop drinking diet soda, or stop eating sushi. Some of us quit smoking. We sleep in a position that provides the best blood supply to the placenta, we go to the doctor or midwife frequently for check ups, we ask our husbands to scoop the litter box for the duration.

We also spend time making sure that our babies stay healthy after the birth. We interview pediatricians. We read about breastfeeding, kangaroo care, circumcision, vaccines and babywearing. We childproof the house and make sure all our gear meets current safety standards. We ask visitors to wash their hands.

After birthing a baby though, how many mothers pay as close attention to their own health as they did during pregnancy? How many of us quickly slide back into our bad habits of staying up too late, exercising too little, or drinking way too much coffee? How many of us put our physical health at the bottom of the priority list?

To be fair, it’s not always easy to be healthy. If you had a difficult delivery, convenience can trump healthfulness. When you’re sleep deprived, it’s hard to make the best choices. When you have other children to care for and a To-Do list a mile long, or if you’re juggling responsibilities at work with duties at home, it’s way too easy to let yourself slide to the bottom of the pile.

The problem is, it’s so important to take care of yourself after you have a baby, so you can heal, so you can be the healthiest mom you can be.

Here are 5 ideas to consider if you’re expecting, to make it easier to take care of yourself after your baby is born.

    1. Take up yoga–Yoga is great because it can be done at so many levels. A beginner can benefit just as much as a guru who has been practicing for years. Most poses can be modified to your skill level, and because yoga is low impact, it’s a great way to ease a postpartum body back into exercise while sparing your joints and stretched out abs. You can tailor your practice to your needs and in the privacy of your own home if you’re shy. Check out Yoga Journal for poses, tons of info, and podcasts, and join Yoga Today for access to a free weekly class.
    2. Freeze your dinners–Before my second child was born, I spent several days in the kitchen, cooking meals that could be frozen, such as Greek Spinach Pie, Lasagna Roll Ups, chili, soups and more. Having the freezer packed with wholesome, homemade food not only meant I was eating well after delivery, but it also made cooking dinner a lot easier. Simply thaw the meal and heat it up. This was one of the biggest things that saved my sanity because my husband went back to work after a week, and my baby took a long time to figure out the difference between night and day. At home alone with a newborn and a 2 year old, and up most of the night with the baby, I was absolutely exhausted. Knowing that we had something to eat for dinner was a huge weight off my mind.
    3. Order your groceries online–Most of the large chains of grocers offer this service. There are pros and cons to it (you can be very specific about your produce, and your personal shopper collects your order and bags it, but you can’t usually use coupons and fuel and delivery charges may apply), but if you’re busy trying to establish breastfeeding, or limited physically because of a c-section, having your groceries delivered can be a huge help. Plus, you can shop online at 2AM in your jammies if you want! Personally, I also found that it helped me eat healthier because I stayed out of the junk aisles.
    4. Fit exercise into everyday activities–Who has the time or energy to spend an hour on the elliptical when you have a new baby at home? Rather than writing off exercise altogether, try splitting it into smaller doses. Studies have shown that ten minutes of exercise three times a day is just as effective as thirty minutes at once. Do toe raises while folding laundry, push ups during commercials, or spend a few minutes stretching before bed. It adds up.
    5. Identify your stress causers and then streamline to avoid them–Sleep when the baby sleeps is a great piece of advice, but it’s not always practical. Figure out what you’re okay with letting slide, and what absolutely needs to be done, then find a way to make it happen. For me, I’m pretty particular about the cleanliness of my house. Letting the laundry pile up or not vacuuming for weeks was just not an option because of the stress it would cause me. So before my baby was born, I spent a couple of days deep cleaning each room, so the house was nice and clean when we came home from the hospital. Afterward, I tried to stick to a rough cleaning schedule so all the usual chores were split up throughout the week. Changing the cat box on Sunday, bathroom on Monday, dusting on Tuesday, etc. My house stayed looking relatively neat, and I could rest easy knowing I didn’t have a huge mess to deal with when I did get a chance to take a nap.

      What about you? What advice do you have to stay healthy while recovering from childbirth and caring for a new baby?

      Worn Down

      I thought that having a newborn was difficult. And it was. I had a very “disorganized” baby. As time has 18580_296149799499_503414499_3173136_3692797_ngone on we have brought order to our lives. Together we have found a rhythm of sorts and though the disorganization is still there it is organized disorganization, if that makes any sense. It makes sense to me. It’s our life.

      I thought that having a middle aged baby things were easing a bit. Or maybe I just found a way to function on four hours of sleep a night. And then he decided to wean himself and I lost the comfort tool. It wasn’t an option. I wasn’t ready. He was. End of story.

      Now I have a toddler. Wow. Today toddlerhood has blown me out of the water. Today I am tired even though I got seven hours of sleep last night. I feel like I have run a marathon and he even took a nap. My brain feels like oatmeal.

      I tend to get frustrated with myself for feeling tired and many times feel like I am not “doing” enough. Because how is it possible that one small child can drain ever last ounce of, well, everything out of me?

      Really even though I have a very active child that really is not the reason for any of this. I don’t think that it matters what personality of child that we have. They seem to have been fashioned just right to completely wear down their parental unit.

      I never knew that I could function with so little energy. How about you?

      Dinner Habit

      2209624603_ffee975d58Ten years ago, before we had kids, my husband and I would very often eat in front of the TV.  We enjoyed it, and we saw no reason to change.  But a couple of years later when the first baby came along, we knew we needed to make a switch. We knew the kind of family we wanted to have: connected to each other instead of electronics.  We wanted to raise conversationalists, and not consumers.

      Continue reading “Dinner Habit”