Practice Positive Discipline – Page 32

Gentle Parenting Ideas Series: Brushing Teeth

This post is the first in a series about gentle parenting through potential power struggles with your toddler or preschooler. (1) Each post will give you ideas and examples for using love, patience, and creativity to work through some fairly common areas of concern: brushing teeth, getting into the car seat, meals/eating, shopping, diaper changes, picking up toys, traveling, transitions, and more. If you want take care of you teeth read articles of a best dentist, here is additional reading. I welcome your gentle/respectful parenting ideas and feedback.

Parenting a toddler or preschooler can be tough. Here we have these little people with minds of their own, and their wants often don’t mesh with our ideas of what is good for them. Thus power struggles are born. Parents have three options in the face of a power struggle:

1) force your will onto your child by power, coercion, or duress;
2) give in to the child;
3) use love and patience to come to a solution with the child.

The goal in our house is to use the third option. We do not believe that forcing our child into compliance, or alternatively never having expectations of him, teaches him how to function in society. We would rather use love and communication so that everyone comes out of potential power struggles with their needs met.

Ideas to Make Tooth Brushing a Positive Experience

Start early: from the time your baby cuts his teeth, get in there every day with a toothbrush. Good oral hygiene is necessary from a young age as plaque can build up. You don’t need toothpaste – just wet the bristles. This will help get your child accustomed to the feel of the brush and the routine of brushing. The teeth could also be a little misaligned. A good idea would be to get the toddler shown to a professional like NicerSmile.com, to align the toddler’s teeth at an early age. However, don’t force the brush into his mouth though, ask him. Let him hold and play with the brush, let him help. Make it fun – smile, sing, playfully tap his nose with the brush. Make the experience a fun one, but at some point try to get in there and tell him “and now we’re brushing your teeth! Let’s get them nice and clean.” (or something to that effect). Whenever you notice any abnormalities in your child’s teeth you should definitely search for general dentistry services for medical help. At WestCobbDentistry we provide several different services in cosmetic dentistry. Children’s teeth are very sensitive and prone to getting diseases, that’s why it’s important to get a check up with your local orthodontist so you make sure they are healthy throughout their next few years of growing up.

Let them see you brush your teeth: I know, we never get the bathroom to ourselves. But in this case it might help establish good habits. Brush and floss in front of your child – be a role model, this way they will get used to it and soon you’ll be able to take them to see a kids dentistry professional!

Let them brush your teeth: turn about is fair play, right? Let your child have some control, give them a chance to brush your teeth with the toothbrush you got from the dentist at your pediatric dental clinic of trust, If you do not have one yet you better Check This Out for high quality service. Having someone brush your teeth can induce a feeling of helplessness or loss of control (think about what it’s like to sit in the dentist’s chair!). Your child might feel better if she can regain some of that control by being in the brusher’s position.

Try fun toothbrushes: toothbrushes come in a variety of colors and designs advertised through dental marketing. You can find toothbrushes that spin, toothbrushes that talk, and toothbrushes with your child’s favorite character.

Allow your toddler to choose a flavor: once you start using toothpaste, get a variety of flavors and let your child choose which one to use at each brushing. Again, this gives him some control of the situation. (2)

Get a special cup to rinse with: Our son uses his Jayhawk cup, and it’s only for rinsing. He loves standing on his step stool to fill the cup, take a drink, and dump it out. Getting a minute to play in the water is definitely part of the draw.

Use a timer or have a special song: if your main gripe is the amount of time your toddler lets you brush, get a timer (find one that doesn’t scare your toddler when it rings) or try singing a long (and silly) song.

Tell stories: create happy, magical stories about brushing teeth. Please, don’t tell scary stories about “the kids who don’t brush.” Make the stories something your child will look forward to – let him be the star of the story. If your toddler is old enough to help narrate, let him fill in some of the details of the story as you brush.

Brush a doll: get a doll or stuffed animal, and let your toddler brush the doll’s teeth. Pay attention while she acts it out – you can learn what parts of tooth brushing might be scary or uncomfortable for her, and you can talk to her about ways to make it more comfortable. For ideas on how to use make-believe a time to reconnect and work through problems, pick up a copy of Playful Parenting.

Make a schedule: if your toddler gets comfort from seeing her schedule, create a chart of what activities you do each morning and evening (those are the two times of day we brush). Using pictures, show a typical sequence – wake up, go potty, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth. It might be comforting for your toddler to know “what comes next.”

Take special shopping trips: make your toddler part of the toothbrush and toothpaste decisions – take him shopping and let him help you pick out his special supplies.

Have a “toothbrush hunt”: When its time to switch brushes hide the new toothbrush and give your toddler clues where to find it and don’t forget to give him or her clear braces at an early age.

Brush the food away: As you brush, pretend that you are brushing away all of the food your toddler ate that day. Let your toddler help you “find” bits of food. “Whoa – did you see that back there? Blueberry pancake! Wait – I see some of the carrots we had at lunch!”

For all of these ideas, I would caution parents not to use any of them as “rewards” for good tooth brushing. You don’t want to turn brushing teeth into a “rewards” v. “punishment” experience. Try to make it positive each time, even if it takes longer than you’d like or it doesn’t go exactly as planned. Have faith that your toddler will learn how to brush her teeth eventually, it just takes patience and kindness from you now, just please don’t forget about the importance of doing monthly visits to the children’s dental care specialist in burnsville mn.

What ideas do you have to help make brushing teeth a good experience? Please share them in the comments as many already did about the cavity fillings and how to take care of them.

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(1) This post was originally published on Code Name: Mama.
(2) For information on why you should consider choosing fluoride-free toothpaste, read “Fluoride: What Every Parent Should Know” by Paige at Baby Dust Diaries.

10 ways to gently respond when children say “I can’t!”

Our son, Kieran, has been struggling with a bout of the “I cannot’s” lately.

“I cannot take my shirt off, you do it mama.”
“I cannot ride my scooter! I cannot!”
“I cannot glue the ribbon on.”

Before teach a toddler to ride, I tried to isolate the problem:

Am I asking him to do too much? His “can’ts” are sometimes, but not always, in response to something I’ve asked him to do, so I don’t think they are the result of request overload or mere unwillingness. And they are usually in reference to a skill or activity that I know he can do, so they are not based on inability or even fear of failure.

Are the “can’ts” related to a mood or condition? I have not connected them to a time of day (i.e., when he is tired or hungry) or an emotional state (i.e., when he is upset). Nor do they appear to be a matter of disinterest.

Does he really think he can’t? The frequency of the phrase made me worry about his developing self-esteem. It is important to my husband and I to respond in a way that will acknowledge Kieran’s feelings as well as empower him, but we weren’t sure how to address the “can’ts.” After researching, reading, and soliciting the advice of some wise mama friends, I came up with the following list of ideas parents may use to respond to a case of the “can’ts.”

10 Ways Parents Can Respond Gently and Constructively When Children Say “I Can’t!”

1.Brainstorm Solutions: Rather than rushing to fix your child’s upset, engage him in the problem-solving process. Be attentive and validate your child’s emotions, and then empower your child to come up with his own solution. Trusting him to figure out conflict will help him develop lifelong coping skills and a healthy self-esteem.
“It looks like your blocks are having a hard time staying stacked up on this carpet, and I understand why you are frustrated when your blocks fall over. What do you think we could do so that you can enjoy building with your blocks?”

This idea is based on Naomi Aldort’s S.A.L.V.E. method, which you can read more about in her book, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.

2. Help: And then there are the times that your child is feeling tired, hungry, or overwhelmed and just needs some assistance. Your simple offer to help may make things seem a little more bearable. Depending on the age of the child and her level of frustration, your offer to help may be specific or open-ended.
“I can see that you are getting frustrated dressing your doll. Would you like me to hold her for you while you dress her?” or
“I can see that you are getting frustrated dressing your doll. Would you like me to help you? What can I do to make it easier?”

3. Offer a Break: If your child has been working at a task for a long time, they might just need to step back from it for awhile. This is especially helpful for a mentally intense activity (i.e., building a model or reading a difficult book) or an activity that is developing a new skill (i.e., tying shoes or riding a bicycle).
“Would you like to help me water the flowers for a few minutes? You can finish your puzzle after we are done if you’d like to.”
“Sometimes when I am frustrated it helps me to do something else for awhile. Would you like to take a break from your book and play some music?”

4. Identify and Redirect: If your child is making negative generalizations about his abilities, he may be setting himself up for failure and poor self-esteem. “I can’t hit the ball. I will never be able to play baseball.” Instead of hushing him and dismissing his fears, identify the irrational belief and reassure him. With young children, it is also a good practice to identify their feelings.
“You can hit the ball, I’ve seen you! It seems like you are feeling discouraged right now. I know you can play baseball, it just takes practice. Would you like me to throw you a few balls?”

5. Be Present: Some kids might express frustration or inability just to see if you are listening and available. By being actively present for them – especially when they are doing a challenging activity – your attention might be enough to get them on the right track.
“I can see that you are working hard on it. I’m here if you need me!”

6. Focus on Their Effort: The old adage to “focus on the process, not the product” rings true with a case of the “can’ts.” Help your child shift her focus to the process. Comment on her effort or concentration.
“You’ve been concentrating very hard on that drawing!”

7. Give Some Extra Attention: If it seems like your little ones are regressing – four year olds who suddenly “can’t” get undressed alone, three year olds who have lost the ability to feed themselves – it may be that they just need a little extra TLC. Give out lots of extra hugs and cuddles, remind her she will always be your baby, make an extra effort to show her she is your most precious gift.

8. Reassess Your Requests: Are you asking him to do too much? The authors of “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk” recommend that parents make a list of everything they ask of their children – all of the things we ask them to do and all of the things we ask them not to do. You may be shocked by the number of requests you make of your child any given morning or throughout the day. Similarly, are you asking your child to do something when he is hungry, tired, or preoccupied with his own problems? Kids are more likely to feel overwhelmed if their bodies are low on sleep or fuel or if they are under stress.

9. Be Silly: Instead of getting exasperated when your child feigns inability, turn it into a playful parenting moment. After you both dissolve into giggles, you may be surprised when your little one forgets that she “can’t” do something.
“I can’t take off my shoes, either! I forgot how to untie my shoelaces. Whatever will I do? I will have to wear them to bed! In the shower! Heeeeeelp!”
(While putting her shirt on her feet) “This is how you do it! You put one foot in this hole, and one foot in this hole – voila! What a cute pair of pants! But where is the zipper and snap?”

For more ideas on how to connect with your kids through play, read Lawrence Cohen’s excellent book Playful Parenting.

10. Ask What They Need to Succeed: If your gut reaction is to feel annoyed when you hear your child say “I can’t,” take a moment before responding. Breathe and remember that what your child is feeling is a normal part of the human condition. A friend of mine shared a story to illustrate this point: it is common to hear a woman in labor say “I can’t do this anymore!” Her support person will inevitably respond with “but you are doing it!” We all feel like that sometimes – tired, burnt out, exhausted. When you are at the end of your rope, would you rather someone say “get over it!”, or does it help more to hear “what can I do to help you feel more confident?”
“It looks like you are having trouble tying your shoes. What can I do to help so that you can do it?”

There is usually something more going on behind a child’s “I can’t” than meets the eye. Taking the time to gently respond is an investment in helping our children grow in confidence.

The Terrible 2s

I have heard many parents talk about the terrible twos. I have heard many parents change it to the “terrific twos” because they did not want to label something that might turn out different for them that it did with pretty much the entire worlds population.

OK; so maybe I am exaggerating just a little bit, but seriously I almost get irritated with the whole thought that nothing that is going to happen to me or my child will be anything like the experience of anyone else. Why? Because I think that it breaks up the whole feeling of a wider community, a camaraderie if you will between anyone that has ever been a parent. Now don’t get me wrong; I actually do think there are not as many “attachment parents” out there, per se, and there are plenty of things that people say will happen or have to happen in a child/parent relationship that frankly I think is a load. But there are some basic things that seem to be the glue that sticks parents together in a bond of common sympathy and one of those things are the terrible twos.

It was like a light switch was turned on in my son. He went from being fairly passive to throwing, hitting, shoving, kicking… pretty much over night. And that may seem dramatic but it is true! And the screaming! He has never been a terrible screamer but this. There have been many different levels of exhaustion that I have run in to as a parent but as my son has hit two it is not so much exhaustion as it is worn out. I feel worn. The thing about feeling worn is sleep doesn’t really seem to help that much. Thank God he is sleeping well at night now!

It isn’t all bad. He is funny. More and more personality is coming through and I am being introduced and reintroduced to my son on a daily basis. We have fun together. I like taking him places. That is until the thrashing starts, or the screaming. Discipline happens so many times a day now it is crazy. It used to be that he had some form of discipline every few days but it is every day now, several times a day. It is forcing me to get really creative.

Want to share about your terrible twos?

Jasmine is a co-housing, home birthing, missions minded, community living mama with a passion for fierce writing. She blogs.

Part 2: What Makes a Consequence Logical?

In Part 1, I talked about the differences between natural consequences, logical consequences, and punishments. In positive discipline, natural consequences are appropriate and effective in helping children learn. They are the preferred method of discipline (yes, it’s still considered discipline even if we don’t DO anything) for giving children valuable learning experiences.

Logical consequences are a popular discipline tool, but they are risky. As stated in Part 1, a logical consequence is one “that ‘fits’ with the circumstances”. However, this leaves a lot of room for interpretation. When parents experience difficult behavior from children and their emotions are running strong, it becomes very easy to turn what is intended as a logical consequence into a punishment.

So what makes a consequence truly logical? As a general rule of thumb, if you have to think too hard about what to do to a child so that he learns a lesson, the logical consequence is most likely a punishment in disguise. To ensure that logical consequences don’t become punitive:

First try to figure out what the natural consequence is. We can do this by taking ourselves out of the situation. “What would happen if I stepped out of this and let my child handle this problem?” Would there be a natural challenge she would have to deal with on her own? That might be a valuable learning experience for her.

Sometimes, though, a problem requires a parent’s involvement, in which case we can focus on solutions. Think of difficult behavior not as a lesson to be learned, but a problem to be solved. Consider, “What do we need to do to solve this problem?” rather than, “What do I need to do so that my child learns a lesson?”

When coming up with possible solutions to a problem, make sure that they follow the 4 Rs:

Related—the consequence must be related to the behavior. A child tries out his new markers…directly on the kitchen floor. A related consequence is that he must wash the marker off the floor. An unrelated consequence would be if he were required to clean up the whole toy room.
Respectful—the consequence must be kindly enforced; no blame, shame, or pain. Respectful: “Here’s a wet rag so that you can wipe the marker off the floor.” Disrespectful: “Look what you did! I can’t believe you colored marker all over the floor! You better clean this mess up NOW.”
Reasonable—the consequence is in proportion to the problem. Reasonable: The child needs to wash the marker off the floor. Unreasonable: The child needs to wash the entire kitchen floor.
Revealed in advance—allow the child to know what will happen if a certain behavior occurs. “Please keep the marker on the paper. You’ll have to clean up any marker that gets on the floor.”

Something else that helps keep a consequence from becoming punitive is to give a child choice in the matter, and to ask for their input in solving a problem. The choices a child is offered should always follow the 4 Rs above.

You can either get a spray bottle and a rag, or use a wet sponge. Which would you like to use to clean this? Do you have another idea for how you could clean this up? Would you like me to help by getting a wet towel for you?

When using positive discipline, we try for natural consequences first, and approach the use of logical consequences conscientiously. We can ensure that these “consequences” are truly relevant and respectful and not an arbitrary punishment in disguise by instead approaching them as “solutions”. Our relationships with our children will benefit from the kindness and firmness of this positive discipline style, as well as from the cooperation and respect we demonstrate to our kids.

Kelly is an API Leader and a Certified Positive Discipline Instructor in Portland, Oregon. She blogs at Parenting From Scratch.

Part1: Rewards, Incentives, Consequences, and Punishments (Oh, My!)

At a recent API meeting, a few moms asked questions about the differences between rewards and punishments which I thought was very useful. We hadn’t specifically discussed them before, and it was helpful to define our understanding of the words we often hear regarding discipline. Based on attachment parenting, positive discipline, and unconditional parenting, here is the break-down:

Rewards vs. Incentives:

A reward is something that is given conditionally; you only get X if you do Y. An incentive is letting someone know of an enjoyable activity that is soon to come. As soon as Y is done, X happens. The difference here is that enjoyable thing (X) happens even if the behavior leading up to it wasn’t perfect. It’s unconditional.

For example, a mom always gives her son a snack when they drive somewhere, but sometimes there’s a struggle actually getting him into his car seat. Because having a snack in the car is something they do every day, the snack is not the reward for getting into the car seat; it’s the incentive. She reminds her son that, “After everyone gets buckled in our seats, we have a snack.” That’s the order of events, and something he can look forward to after getting in his seat. She wouldn’t withhold the snack if, despite her best efforts, there was still struggling and crying about getting into the car seat. Her son is hungry and he needs it; it’s snack time.
Continue reading “Part1: Rewards, Incentives, Consequences, and Punishments (Oh, My!)”

Motherhood’s Magic Mirror

mommasmile — It starts off simply enough. I smile, you smile. Then it gets more complicated.

My daughters had a hard time using the word “please.” I noticed this several years ago, when I was constantly correcting their demands, making them insert the word before I would honor their request. They always said, “Thank you,” just not the “p” word. I remember the moment when I discovered why this phenomenon was occurring and needless to say, it was a head-slapping revelation. I asked my child (about age 4) to do something and she looked at me while asking, “please?” She was correcting my rudeness.

So, I listened in on all my conversations that day. Do I ever use the word? I frequently use the words “thanks” and, “I’m sorry.” I say “you’re welcome” and I always say “I love you” at least twice a day per family member. Somehow I had gotten into the habit of issuing orders without the basic nicety of “please.” It didn’t matter that I was telling my children to always use this word, they were simply mirroring my own behavior. It was so basic. So many trite sayings have formed out of this one constant of human development. Monkey see, monkey do. Do as I say, not as I do. But there it was staring me in the face without me really seeing it.

There are many times in raising children when you need to stop, examine your world through your child’s eyes and ears, and really think about what they are learning from you. Are you telling them not to hit, but spanking them as a form of punishment? Do you raise your voice when angry, but reprimand your child for yelling? (This is one of my uglier problems that I’m still working on.) Do you wish they would interact more with other children, but spend all your time with them instead of making strong connections with other adults?

It’s not easy realizing that your children are so much like you, yet so different. You assume they will only pick up your strengths and excel at the areas you have mastered. In addition to picking up your bad habits, magnifying them and mirroring them back to you like a carnival fun house; children also pick up on your energy. They know when you are tense, sad, angry with your spouse or worried about life. They know instantly when you don’t like someone. Unfortunately, children assume that they are the cause of your negative emotions, not an outside influence. My oldest daughter has the eerie habit of plucking thoughts right out of my head. It happens so often now that I’ve come to accept her ability as yet another reason to focus my thoughts and energy into positive messages.

MOM DARE: Spend this week listening in on your conversations, really hearing yourself the way your child does. Are they imitating you? Can you see how one of their troublesome behaviors could be related to something you have inadvertently taught them? Are you stressed about something and your child is picking up on your anxiety? Try spending a little more time this week reassuring your children that they are doing a good job, that you love them, and that life is truly beautiful. Please.

Sharron Wright is the work-at-home mother of three girls, ages 2, 5 and 8. Her mission is to help other new parents feel empowered and to instill in them the confidence to care for their babies in a loving, positive way that respects the uniqueness of all children. She blogs at http://momswithgrace.wordpress.com and helps new moms at www.babylovecarebook.com

If Spanking Does Not Work in the Long-Term, Why Start Spanking at All?

Kieran 1 Hypothetically speaking, let’s pretend there is a parenting practice with the following attributes:

while it usually results in immediate compliance, it is generally ineffective in modifying longer-term behavior (it is even ineffective from hour to hour or day to day);
it causes strain on the parent/child relationship; and
it can only be used for a few years of the child’s life, outside of those few years it is totally ineffective and/or inappropriate.

What, exactly, is attractive about that? Yes, there is that immediate compliance, but if the parenting practice doesn’t even result in changed behavior an hour later, why waste the effort?

Why not try something that actually works?

Part of the post “Undermining General Beliefs About Corporal Punishment” has stuck with me since I read it during the Carnival of Gentle Discipline. In the post, the author discussed the arbitrary lines drawn between “spanking” and “abuse,” as well as the rationales given for corporal punishment.

The part I keep coming back to is the general consensus that there is an age range in which it is “appropriate” to spank. According to the “experts” (and the spanking parents who discuss these things online), you should not spank babies younger than about 15-18 months, and you should not spank children past the age of 7 years. (1)

If you know that the “solution” of spanking is only a short-term “fix,” why do it at all? If spanking is one of your parenting tools, you will eventually have to toss it out of your toolbox. What will you do after it is no longer appropriate to threaten your child physically?

How will you relate to your kids when the threat of spanking no longer hangs over their heads?

Even if we ignore the many negative long-term effects of spanking, it simply makes no sense to rely on a method of discipline that will only work for a few short years. “Lasting authority cannot be based on fear[,]” so where will your authority lie after your children no longer fear your hand or your belt? (2)

Instead of creating a parent/child relationship based on fear and mistrust – as spanking often does – it is healthier and more effective in the long run to create a relationship based on trust and respect. Gentle discipline and playful parenting techniques are healthy and effective tools that work from toddlerhood through the teenage years.

What’s more, those few years that parents are “allowed” to spank are also the years that our children are forming lasting mental impressions of us.

Would you rather your child form an impression of trust, or of fear?

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(1) I choose not to link to any of these “experts” or discussion boards because I do not want to contribute to their traffic/Pagerank. If you’re interested, I’m sure you can find several sites to this effect on Google.
(2) Ask Dr. Sears, “10 Reasons Not to Hit Your Child”

Attraction Rather than Promotion

There is a famous group that takes the attraction rather than promotion approach “in all its affairs.” Now don’t get me wrong I think that getting info out to the masses is very important. If people aren’t able to see it then they are not able to make the choice because they do not know what is available to them. On the other hand in this time of wonderful materials, blogging, online articles and the millions of other ways that we can use promotion to the benefit of AP and all that encompasses there is sometimes the most vital thing missing. Attraction.

I have been known to post many things that “prove” that AP principles are correct and are better for mothers, fathers, babies, other children… etc. I have read articles and books and know about many of the things that promote good attachment in an infant and throughout a child’s life. I lived with the consequences of children not being attached. Somewhere in there I thought that I had every right to let people know and then to be disturbed when they did not make the right choice.

There is nothing wrong about being concerned about the choices others are making but there is something wrong when it starts disturbing your own peace. Why? Because your peace is the balance of a family home. And when we become full-time promoters that are constantly promoting we end up with no time to do the one thing that will actually change the hearts and lives of many. Attraction.

Who would want to be like me when I am run ragged from promoting all the benefits of breastfeeding, babywearing, healthy food, natural childbirth, spending time with your kids… and the list goes on and on. Wouldn’t they rather see it demonstrated in my life? Wouldn’t I rather see it demonstrated in my life?

I don’t know about you but I like seeing other people’s flaws and failures. Not because I want to gloat and say “see I do better than that” but because I want to come in to some sort of human contact with other parents. I want to see their flaws and errors and yet see their children flower into wonderful people because the they, we, are constantly striving for pure attachment to our children and them to us.

Attraction is an intoxicating thing. I am attracted to many things. It is what makes life so enticing. Smells, tastes, sounds and touch. Those are what drive our human bodies. And then there is something deeper. The underlying spiritual life of every human being. Something has to appeal to one or all of these things to make it attractive to someone.

Promotion can convince someone that something is right but they can just as easily be convinced that it isn’t. I knew a family when I was growing up who was constantly changing their mode of discipline and I mean constantly. Every six months it would be something different. This built confused and frustrated parents and children. Each new mode of discipline was promoted so well that the parents were convinced that this was finally the “right” way to do things.

I personally have been convinced of things through promotion. I mean look at commercials. They work! But it does not mean that they product itself will work in actuality in your or your child’s life. Why? Because promotion is all about putting something in the best light possible even when it is reading off a list of sometimes deadly side-effects. Not only that but I have a theory that many of us like to choose the promoted item because if it does not work it is not our own personal failure but the failure of the promoter to inform us fully or the item to work like we were told it would or anything to avoid personal failure.

Attraction comes with all the bumps and bruises of failure. Sometimes I try things and they just don’t work and I have to go back to the parenting drawing board. The difference is I am taking personal responsibility for the action and success, growth and failure of my parenting life. And hopefully as my life is being refined the fragrance from the constant crushing is smelled by those few and many who will smell it and it will attract them in to a fulfilling, ever-changing, attached life.

Jasmine is a co-housing, home birthing, missions minded, community living mama with a passion for fierce writing. She blogs.

Photo used from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/araswami/2247415251/