Author: API Blog

Last Thursday, Attachment Parenting International officially declared the month of October Attachment Parenting Month (read full release). This year’s theme of “Giving Our Children Presence” is such an important one that we at API Speaks have chosen it for the topic of our first ever AP Blog Carnival.

On October 1, we’ll post a carnival kick-off, complete with Mr Linky, so that you can participate in the carnival with your post on the topic of giving your child(ren) presence. Then, on October 15, we’ll do a carnival wrap-up, announce November’s topic, and link to everyone who participated. Spread the word about AP, and about API Speaks’ first blog carnival!

For the past several months I have posted a volunteer spotlight as a way to thank some of the various, wonderfully dedicated volunteers at our organization. It has been a great way to demonstrate the amazing work they do to help API continue to educate and support parents walking along their AP journey.

The following forms of support would not have been made possible without the assistance of our staff of volunteers:

•The creation of our brand new Web site with our new logo, colors and wealth of updated and accurate information available to parents worldwide

•API’s fabulous forum that now supports more than 700 parents and that number continues to climb each day

•FAQs that are well written and edited so that we can clearly answer some of the most common questions parents have

•Amazing digital and print publications which provide heart warming stories, research and AP news to families

•Many terrific affiliated support groups in communities throughout the world

•API Speaks with its editor, contributing editor and our list of insightful bloggers!

These are just a handful of the many offerings that API has been able to produce and put forth, especially over the course of a short 10 months, and they would continue to sit on shelves in our minds if we didn’t have dedicated volunteers willing to help them come to fruition. Our organization survives and thrives on the efforts of our volunteers.

A little known fact about our staff is that most all of them are volunteers. Very few people are paid within API. Even those people work more than the few hours than they individually contract for and so, are still technically volunteers. Another awesome fact is that we have over 100 volunteer leaders who work hard within their community sharing their Principles and values with others who either know, or are trying to determine, what theirs are or will be once their sweet babes are born. I could go on with more interesting facts but for the sake of space, I will resist the temptation. 🙂

The overarching theme for our volunteers seems to be that they each have this drive and zeal to help out when they know what the impact of their volunteering has on other families across the world. Some can only donate an hour a week and others are donating 10 or more. It all depends on their family’s circumstances and the time that they can afford to donate. I hope that they each know that even their one hour a week makes all the difference to the level of support that API offers to parents who contact us and for that, we will be eternally grateful.

This week I would like to tweak the usual Volunteer Spotlight and personally focus a bit on how our amazing, new Executive Director, Samantha Gray interacts with our team of volunteers.

Samantha has an amazing Curriculum Vitae and brings an exceptional level of experience to our organization (see the most recent issue of the Journal for more information). When she began in April she was greeted by staff members asking for a bit of an internal reorganization simply because we have grown by leaps and bounds over the past 10 months when it comes to internal support and external offerings. She came up with an excellent plan that has each of working much more efficiently and she did it all while considering our personal strengths and individual accomplishments. She has done a thorough evaluation of our organization and is furthering her efforts to ensure that we have a fabulous working environment and sturdy foundation to grow upon. Samantha encourages autonomy and believes in each volunteer’s capabilities but is always willing to work with you in ways that you need, or help you find the right course for what you are working on, if you ask.

She is a conscious, empathic leader, a champion of AP and API and it shows in the work that she has done in the short 4 months that she has been our Executive Director. API will continue to grow in unprecedented ways and it will do so under her capable and loving hands and each of us is thrilled to be working with her.

Thank you very much Samantha for all that you are doing to continue to increase the level of support and education that families receive from API. Your work and care is not unnoticed and definitely not under appreciated. Thank you also to your sweet family for their support and encouragement. We are glad to have them as an extended part of our team as well!

If you believe in the value of our mission to educate and support all parents in raising secure, joyful, and empathic children in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world, please join with us today.

Check out API’s list of volunteer positions. Please know that this list is not comprehensive. If you have talents and experience that you feel would further our mission but don’t see a position listed to highlight your skills, please email Brandy so that we can chat about the possibilities! We are also open to altering positions as needed to meet the needs of our volunteers and their families.

Warmly,
Brandy Lance
API Volunteer Liaison

“Volunteering is the ultimate exercise in democracy. You vote in elections once a year, but when you volunteer, you vote every day about the kind of community you want to live in.”
Marjorie Moore, Minds Eye Information Service, Belleville, IL, USA

Thanks to everyone who celebrated World Breastfeeding week with us on API Speaks! I enjoyed hearing different perspectives on the breastfeeding experience and the importance of support. And I just loved Sarah’s hilarious breastfeeding story–I was laughing out loud!

I know everyone’s anxious to know who won the copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and I’m happy to announce that it is GrnMtnGirl! Congratulations!

Watch this space in the coming weeks. October is Attachment Parenting Month and we have lots of fun things in store to celebrate.

There is nothing better in the world than having your 2-year-old give you a big hug and say “I love you” right before starting to nurse. The love that you are giving to your child from birth starts to show back once the baby matures and breastfeeding certainly helps with creating that special bond with your child. I remember when I had our first born and thought I was going to breastfeed him for a year because I thought that is what you are suppose to do. Our pediatrician, Dr. William Sears, was kind enough to explain the benefits of extended breastfeeding to me and open my eyes to the idea of child led weaning. It totally made sense to me. I was a working mom at the time as well so nursing after a long day at work really helped me to reconnect with my child and he looked forward to it also.

Our daughter is 2 now and in the so called “terrible twos” phase. Breastfeeding really helps to calm her down if she gets upset and gives her a moment to wind down. This has been really helpful at restaurants and other public places. I use a nursing cover with her when we are out and about. I never used a cover with our son but after discovering a nursing cover and how convenient it is when you are breastfeeding in public, I highly recommend one. It’s not matter of having to hide your breastfeeding, to me it’s more like having my own privacy and our daughter likes it too because it shields her from the outside distractions and gives her a moment of peace as well. Now that she is older she asks for the cover if we are in public places and she wants to nurse. It’s so cute that she associates that with public places and knows that we don’t use one at home unless there are other kids around such as our older son’s friends who might have not been exposed to nursing at home.

I’m forever grateful to Dr. Sears for helping me to realize the benefits of extended breastfeeding. Now I wouldn’t have it any other way. Each child matures at different rates so the time they wean varies. Our son self weaned at 2 ½ years of age, right after he potty trained himself. He was a big boy now and didn’t need/want breastfeeding anymore. It was the most joyful yet sad day of my life because my baby had grown up to be a little man of his own who knew what he wanted. Now at 7 years of age, he is the same way. He is extremely confident and social and caring child. He always wants to make sure people around him are ok. He helps the children at school who might not be considered “popular” so that they don’t get left alone. He is also so kind, caring and affectionate with his little sister and he knows how important breastfeeding is for his little sister. I contribute all this to extended breastfeeding and the strong foundation he got in the early years of life.

I’m interested in seeing how long our daughter will breastfeed. At times she tells us that she is too big to breastfeed but wants it still at the same time. It’s so cute to see her journey growing up and how she is thinking about being a big girl all on her own. Until she self weans, I’m cherishing these moments of nursing. I even cherish the night time nursings because it’s our special time together. Her little arms are wrapped around my body and she is so content. After nursing, she goes right to sleep and I lay down next to her. I feel so content knowing that I’m helping her to grow up day and night and I help her sort through her feelings during these sometimes difficult times of being a 2-year old by breastfeeding.

Reija

www.attachedmom.com
www.ciatara.com

As a former journalist I understand what’s considered news, and yes, it ought to be news when a mother hears she’s not welcomed to feed her baby in a public place. It’s news because it really is normal and should be the norm to be welcome to feed your baby wherever and whenever you feel the need to respond to your baby. So, it makes sense that it is news that someone asked a mother to remove herself and her baby to the restroom, stop nursing on the airplane, or leave the dining establishment. And it makes sense that the related news covers the nurse-in protest planned and lots of “to breastfeed, or not to breastfeed in public” debates. While you want the public to be sympathizing with the mother and child, the discussion still wanders back to the real news, though, that the mother was breastfeeding, publicly.

It is hardly news now to read a story about breastfeeding publicly only to be told to stop or go elsewhere—it’s almost expected. Regularly, you can find such a headline in most any media – just Google it. So perhaps what almost could be news now is to breastfeed in public and not get berated, ousted, covered or refused.

In that spirit and the spirit of World Breastfeeding Week, for which I just participated in a 5K Walk and Stroll for Breastfeeding, I would like to share with you some of our favorite public nursing spots. And my news is that in nine total years of nursing we haven’t even gotten a negative look, much less a comment. Maybe they just didn’t dare. Maybe we looked like a beautiful greeting card photo epitomizing an expression (pun intended) of love. I am a La Leche Leader, and I know for some that might provide a sort of justification or explanation of my “bravado,” but certainly not everywhere I go do people know what La Leche League is, much less that I’m a Leader. Still, given the apparent rarity of public breastfeeding, as least in our neck of the woods, what else can it be but to be news to breastfeed in public without interruption?

There are already lots of good synopses on the confrontations related to breastfeeding in public places, so now for something completely different: Some amazingly routine, typical, uneventful nursing – milk and/or comfort – moments, that, of course, will never be average but not ever five o’clock news.

We like to nurse at Lowes. Yes, the hardware store–most often on the steps of one of those rolling ladders. As my husband shops, we are tortured beyond belief because I have to give my opinion and we cannot wander into an aisle sans hardware. Now, whenever we are in Lowes and the baby sees the ladder, it triggers his desire to nurse.

We like to nurse during worship. We can all pay attention, and it is even rather like a spiritual practice for us. I’m always ready to share Martha Sears’ statement about busting them in the mouth but have never had to. Plus, the service is always during naptime so what else can be expected?
We like to nurse at the library. Shhhh…

We like to nurse at brother’s ball games. Nursing can actually compete with the lure of running out onto the basketball court or the ball field in complete oblivion to the game being played.
We like to nurse at the theatre. When it’s time for sister’s solo, we don’t miss a bit – all while holding the video camera steady. The baby is not even supposed to be in there, maybe not the video camera either, but the ushers know I can keep him content.

We like to nurse in a booth at Casa Mexicana. Milk and tortilla chips. I confess to dropping salsa on all the children over the years. Another patron will invariably stop by and say, “I didn’t even know you had a little one with you. Your children are so well behaved.” I smile, full and full of myself for two seconds until the middle child begins trying to crawl under the booth, disrupting the table and making his sister scream, “Don’t touch anything, it’s gross!” causing everyone to quickly look – even the baby nursing- ow!

We like to nurse at parenting class. When I’m facilitating a workshop we have a tight schedule to keep. A roomful of parents cannot be asked to hang out while I tend to my baby for an extended time. A few seconds to get situated, so to speak, and class can continue and everyone is happy.
We like to nurse during communion at Duke Chapel. A fellow student of my husband’s saw me nursing and he was quite disturbed and wrestled with confronting me. As he moved through the communion line his heart was completely changed. After communion, he came to me and shared his original thoughts and how he was now convinced it was beautiful to think that the elements were passing from me to my baby.

We like to nurse at the grocery store. Tight in the sling against Mommy so all the shopping can get done. We make lots of friends this way, from people asking me if I broke my arm, to how they can get a sling for their daughter, to amazement that there is a baby in there.

We like to nurse during Spanish class, on an airplane, at the park, at the zoo, at a ballroom dance class, in a meeting, at the beach, on a train, on a boat, in a box, with a fox… Well, not with a fox. I don’t know what it is but it seems like we always have synchronized nursing while I’m leading a La Leche League meeting.

We nurse when it’s time and wherever we are. It is part of our, well maybe my, personal contribution to make breastfeeding just a bit more common and accepted—because the news is–it is still not. I hope to encourage other breastfeeding mothers, current and prospective. I’m sure my breastfeeding in public has also caused some talk, just out of my earshot, though. I know, however, the result for a few is they too have wrestled with their views and come to recognize the benefits and value to the baby, mother, family, and community. In any case, no one has ever challenged me or made me feel unwelcome. On the contrary, over the years many, many men and women have voiced their support and encouragement and shared their personal experiences. In our actions and sharing our stories, we’re making a change that helps families, including the littlest ones, participate in community.

Wouldn’t it be nice if that were the headline? “Mother, while nourishing child, stirs memories of grateful co-travelers and nourishes relationships, fosters community.”

Though we’ve nursed in some uncomfortable places, like the Lowes metal stairs, to meet baby’s needs and the needs of our other children and our lifestyle, I will say there’s nothing like the big olive green chair in the living room, sitting at the computer writing this blog, the cushiony rocking chair, or the comfy king sized bed.

But, us being at home long enough to nurse there? – That might really be the news.

–Samantha
Executive Director, API