Just recently my husband and I decided to change things up a little bit. We live by the principle that if you want to see something different you have to do something different. Meaning that if I don’t like what I see in society as a whole or I don’t like how families are falling apart on a regular basis or I don’t like how children are turning out then I can’t expect to do the exact same thing as everyone else is doing but expect that somehow it will be different for me.
I think that can be one of the most dangerous traps for us as parents, and as people, to fall in to. We tend to look at the way other people’s lives are and say, “Well that isn’t me,” or “That won’t be me! I’m different…” and yet all the time we are saying/thinking that we are living the same way as “those people” are living and our goals are the same goals. Do you think that people with kids that shoot people wanted that for their children? Do you think that the mom who is worn out because her kids run over the top of her wanted that? Do you think that families fall apart because the parents wanted that to happen? Did they take their vows knowing that someone would break them? I don’t think so.
If you want to see something different you have to do something different.
So what does that mean practically? It means that you will have to make decisions based on your family first. Very first. What is good for you all and the surprising thing is for the most part what is good for a family is not what is traditionally touted as good in our culture. We think that it is good that you slave away so that you can buy big toys and a good house and to pay for a good eduction so that your kids can get a good job so that they can buy a big house and the toys that they want and save for their kids education… not that there is anything really wrong with this but doesn’t that seem like a mundane existence? It certainly isn’t what most of us say that we want.
If you want to see something different you have to do something different.
We say that we want genuine relationships with our children. We say we want them to grow up to be curious and creative adults with a hunger for learning. We say that we want to be able to enjoy our teenagers not dread them. We say we want to experience life with our children.
So what are you doing differently so that you can see that come about?
Photo used from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/qubodup/2950583553/