Use Nurturing Touch – Page 18

Modeling AP Values

I spend a lot of time writing and speaking to people about the values I hold as a person who practices attachment/responsive parenting. I try to use facts and logic to respectfully encourage others to research their parenting decisions and embrace ideas that might have been uncomfortable a generation ago, such as full-term breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public, leaving our sons intact, responding to our children with love and respect, and realizing the detrimental effects of physical discipline.

Looking through some recent pictures of my son (Kieran), I realized that we (as parents who share these values) might be doing more just by modeling these concepts to our children. Of course I will continue to extol the value of full-term breastfeeding, and I will defend every mother’s right to nurse in public when, where and how she wants to. But I take immense comfort in the fact that my son might not need to fight these same battles because we are normalizing it for his generation, simply by living.

Here are some examples of how the Eight API Principles are being normalized for my son every day:

Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting

My sister recently had a baby (this picture is of Kieran with my sister only weeks before she gave birth). Throughout her pregnancy, we talked with Kieran about how babies grow in their mama’s tummies. He loved feeling my sister’s stomach, and he often talked about the baby growing in his own belly.

Someday, I hope that he will experience the pregnancy of his own little brother or sister. I look forward to his thoughts on all of the changes that will occur in my body. We will prepare him for his sibling’s homebirth and allow him to participate as fully as is practical and comfortable for everyone.
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Babywearing at the Beach

Babywearing saves my day once again! A couple of weeks ago we took the kids to visit a remote beach in Corona del Mar here in Southern California. To get to the beach, we had to walk down a steep and long set of stairs. I took with me a short woven wrap. It was a Girasol wrap that I’ve had for a while now. To get down to the beach, I put my little one in a rucksack back carry tied under his bum. Normally, with a long wrap I would be able to tie around my waist, but this was a short wrap, so I only had enough to tie a secure knot under his bum.

Once we got down to the beach, and it was quite a lovely beach, I took him down and we enjoyed the scenery as the kids played. It was a sunny day out, but the wind was giving me a little bit of a chill, so I used the wrap to cover both me and my baby. It felt so cuddly and soft against our skins and kept us warm.
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Close Enough for Comfort

It’s 3 in the afternoon on a Friday. I’m tapping away on the laptop while fourteen-month-old Sweet Pea is sleeping in his sling on my chest. As I idly kiss his head, I notice that he feels a bit warm. Taking a break from reading my very important, up-to-date, tres cool websites on sustainable living (okay, I was probably checking Facebook for the fourth time that day), I look down at him. His cheeks are rosy. There are little beads of sweat on his hairline. I fetch the thermometer, and wiggle it underneath of Sweet Pea’s arm without disturbing him. The numbers climb rapidly. 96.5. 97.9. 99.0. It beeps, and confirms my suspicion: 99.4. We are officially, on a Friday afternoon, experiencing our first fever together.

I call our pediatrician and secure an appointment at 4:45, the last appointment of the day. At the office, I snuggle Sweet Pea into the sling in the waiting room. He’s quite hot, and looking somewhat glazed. Nonetheless, I’m shocked when they take his temperature again and it’s hit 103. I am desperate, having NICU flashbacks and feeling like a horrible mother. The nurse, staring accusingly, says, “Did you give him Tylenol?!”
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Attachment Parenting Makes the Holidays Easier

I am now into my fifth holiday season as an attached parent. Over the years my family has changed and grown, but one thing has remained true. Attachment parenting practices, like breastfeeding, babywearing and positive discipline, have made the holidays easier. They have smoothed the rough patches, helped me get things done, and provided everyone with a touchstone in the midst of the craziness that can happen at this time of year.

One of my big challenges over the holidays is my long to-do list. I am baking, crafting, shopping, wrapping gifts and on and on and on. A good baby carrier (or, you know, 14 good baby carriers, as the case may be) really helps me get through that list. When my toddler is on my back he’s happy and I have two free hands. It is much easier to mix up a batch of cookies when I know that my child is safely strapped to me, and not climbing on to the dining room table yet again.

My 10-month-old and I try out our new wrap in 2005
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Self-Pity and Me.

This past week has been something of a challenge as mini-man and I try to recuperate from our Texas trip; now we have been joined by this lovely long-lasting cold. We are both miserable.

Yesterday was one of those days where I was looking fondly back on the time when I could be sick by myself, where I could take a long shower, sleep until I couldn’t sleep any more, rest, read a book, maybe watch a movie. And I could do all this alone. Instead I am wiping snot off a clingy child while trying to change another blow-out diaper as he sobs hysterically because… I don’t know. Continue reading “Self-Pity and Me.”

Slowing down to smell the stillness, re-energizes

I just used up a bag of flour that I’ve had in my pantry for the past couple of years.

I only had it for the occasional sauce thickening agent, or… uh… why did I have that bag of flour? I guess it’s just one those things that is expected. One must have flour or you cannot consider yourself a member of polite society, or something like that.

The point is, I used almost all of it in the last month.

I actually used the flour — to bake.
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Following the Principles: Use Nurturing Touch

Part 4 of a series of 8: Carrying our little LF#5 (Loin Fruit Number Five) in my body is the ultimate in nurturing touch. A tiny body wrapped up inside of mine. Bouncing. Rolling. Rocking. Swaying. Swirling. Surrounded by warmth. We are hoping to have another gentle homebirth for our new little one . We will enjoy our Babymoon as long as we can, remaining in bed and nursing for 2-3 weeks while my body heals. Of course we have made preparations (as much as anyone can prepare for the unknown at any rate) in case of an emergency need to transfer our care to a hospital and are prepared to do whatever it takes to make even the most medicalized situation a high-touch, high-compassion one. No matter what happens with our pregnancy and birth, we know that we are committed to our attached and connected parenting principles. We trust that our new baby will be lovingly connected to our family even if that means finding new ways to apply the attachment parenting principles to whatever circumstances LF#5 is welcomed into the world under.

A Rare Moment: Everyone together! T-Bird, Sir Hubby, Bug, Brent, Ella

But what about the rest of us? We are already dealing with situations which are challenging our ability to stay connected. It seems as if the past few months could be defined by one word: Distance. Distance keeps our family apart while Sir Hubby attempts to balance his business, his father’s health, and our family. Distance has my son several hours away at college. Our older girls are both at ages where they are pulling away (in healthy ways) to explore independence, self-directed learning, and social pursuits without holding our hands. But the biggest distance I feel is the one between my little T-Bird and I. Continue reading “Following the Principles: Use Nurturing Touch”

International Babywearing Week 2009

This week is International Babywearing Week 2009. My posts over the next week will, no doubt, be mostly related to babywearing, it’s benefits for both baby and wearer, and how to do it.

What is babywearing?

From http://babywearinginternational.org:

Babywearing simply means holding or carrying a baby or young child using a baby carrier. Holding babies is natural and universal; baby carriers make it easier and more comfortable, allowing parents and caregivers to hold or carry their children while attending to the daily tasks of living. Babywearing helps a new dad put a fussy newborn to sleep. It allows a new mom use both hands to make a sandwich. It lets an experienced parent or caregiver carry a baby on her back and wash the dishes, do the laundry, take a hike, weed the garden … all while keeping the baby safe and content

From Wikipedia:

Babywearing is the practice of wearing or carrying a baby or child in a sling or other form of carrier. Babywearing is far from new and has been practised for centuries around the world. In the industrialized world, babywearing has gained popularity in recent decades, partly under influence of advocates of attachment parenting; however, not all parents who babywear consider themselves attachment parents. Babywearing is a form of baby transport.

A one-minute introduction to babywearing:

Attachment Parenting International would like to thank Amanda from The Sour B for her guest post in honor of International Babywearing Week 2009.