Back in November I had written about night-time parenting. I had asked how the situation is in other AP homes. Well, things have changed quite a lot since and I thought it would be nice to give feedback. Continue reading “Sleeping through the night”
Category: Provide Consistent & Loving Care
“Holiday” Wean: I Almost Fell Into That Trap
It’s something that every nursing mother experiences at least once. It’s mostly known as “The Holiday Wean”, but really it can happen during any major transition or stressful period.
Like moving.
Because my husband and I were in a hurry to get our new house painted and us moved in, my girls, ages 2 and 4, spent a lot of time over other people’s houses while we packed, painted, and unpacked. In fact, the night before the move, my 2 yeard old and I spent our very first night apart: she slept over her Grandmother’s while my husband and I stayed up until midnight to finish the painting. I figured she would be okay with it.
The next afternoon, after the move, when my MIL brought her home, I thought she would want to nurse immediately. Imagine my surprise when she wanted nothing to do with me. She was angry.
It took about four hours before she would finally come over and give me a hug and kiss. And it wasn’t until the next day that she decided she would nurse again (to the relief of my sore and engorged breasts).
You would think that I would’ve been more aware of what was happening. I did mention to my husband once or twice that she wasn’t nursing as often during the packing phase, but didn’t really think much of it. I got too wrapped up in other things in life, and forgot the important lesson that my daughter teaches me every day: sit down and rest, slow down, take care of yourself.
Thankfully, my daughter is now back to her regular nursing schedule. She and her sister love their new room and the house. We are all grinning ear to ear over here.
Have you ever experienced the Holiday Wean? How do you remind yourself to take time to make sure your nursling is getting his or her “na nas” during stressful and busy times?
Listening to Her Protest (very loudly)
My little T-Bird has just turned a whole big year old! She now has the ability to run around the house grabbing stuff, she turns the pages of books all by herself, and has developed some very well-honed pointing-at-everything-she-sees skills. She also does some super-adorable things like kissing all of the kitties she sees in her picture books, rocking her baby doll, and saying Mmmmm whenever she gets near my breasts, which she calls “Na-Nas”. Her hair is long enough now that I can put two little piggy tails on top of her head (which look more like little horns than piggy tails). She giggles manically at her own private little jokes and loves trying to walk backwards.
Continue reading “Listening to Her Protest (very loudly)”
Gentle Baby and Toddler Sleep Tips
Photo credit: Lab2112 on flickr
This post provides tips for sleep deprived parents that want their babies to sleep better and, like me, do not want to use the cry it out approach. Some of these things I have learned through experience and others I’ve learned through reading research. I should note that I have not necessarily tried all of these things because I do not consider my children’s sleep to be a problem. That doesn’t mean that they never wake up and it doesn’t mean that there are not tough nights here and there, but on the whole I get enough rest and my kids get enough rest.
1. Calming Bedtime Routine Continue reading “Gentle Baby and Toddler Sleep Tips”
Moving On
Sir Hubby’s business is located two hours away from where we have been living. For the most part, he has been able to work remotely from home and that level of flexibility allowed us both to be full time AP’ers to our baby, T-Bird. But recently, he has taken on additional responsibility at work and his presence was required more and more. To conserve time, energy and gas, he began to sleep at the office a few nights a week. It quickly turned into all week.
The first few weeks were a bit novel for us: texting funny stories and pictures back and forth, looking forward to the weekends, helping the kids make art work to surprise Daddy with upon his return. The novelty quickly gave way to resentment, however, when the weekends turned into battles about who “deserved” to sleep in, who had put in a more stressful week, and whose turn it was to deal with kids who were rightly protesting the abrupt change from an Attachment style of parenting to a new-and not-so-improved Frustrated style. Something had to give, and we were not willing to let it be our family or the close relationship we have with our children any longer.
So, we started using the “M” word.
Moving to a new home has never been one of my favorite things to do even more since I count with montrealmovers moving services. Continue reading “Moving On”
Weaning in the Context of AP
My son Cavanaugh is a little over two now and we recently embarked on night weaning. Night weaning then researching weaning for our API meeting last month got me thinking about breastfeeding in the Attachment Parenting community. So many of the AP mamas I know were planning on child-led weaning and many of them are changing their minds as their kids move further into toddlerhood. But a lot of us have mixed feelings about weaning, whether we decide to partially, gradually, or abruptly wean or to nurse as long as our kids feel like they need it.
So here’s how I’ve been thinking about weaning in relation to the Eight Principles of API
AP in the Hospital
Last month, my 17 month old son had to stay overnight for an operation. It was a routine procedure, but I was still wracked with worry. It broke my heart when he cried for food the morning of the operation and I couldn’t give him anything. As we waited in the hospital for his surgery to begin, the nurses started bringing around breakfast and he’d point and sign ‘eat’, crying because he didn’t understand why we weren’t complying. I cried as he went in to surgery and again, with relief, when he came out safe. As we met him in recovery, he was wearing a sleepsack that was tied down to the mattress of a crib. It wasn’t completely unexpected, as I’d seen other children on his floor restrained in this way while he was in surgery, but I still worried that they would somehow hurt my baby. Thankfully I can go here to get legal assistance if they harm him in any way during his stay at the hospital.
When he woke, he was disoriented and became distraught fighting the restraints. I tried my best to calm him and after asking the nurses, I breastfed him, leaning awkwardly over the side of his crib to do so. He fell asleep and the surgeons came in to speak to us. I told them that our son wasn’t used to a crib and it wasn’t easy to breastfeed him the way he was placed. They didn’t really say much back, I’m not sure they really knew what to do, but the nurse with them did.
Continue reading “AP in the Hospital”
Trusting my instincts
When my son was 16 months old, I decided to try leaving him with a babysitter while I went to a medical appointment. Up to this point, he’d never been cared for by anyone other than me, my husband, or very occasionally by his grandparents. He knew the babysitter fairly well, but nonetheless, was miserable the entire time I was gone. She eventually resorted to wearing him on her back, but even there he wasn’t terribly happy.
I know many people would have taken this as a sign that he needed to get used to being cared for by others, and recommended that I start leaving him with a babysitter on a regular basis. I even got offers from some of my friends to look after him. Continue reading “Trusting my instincts”