Principles – Page 32

9 tips to help your child sleep

“Just one more hug goodnight.”

“I’m hungry.”

“I’m thirsty.”

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

Bedtime can be a long process for many parents. At the end of the day, we are all tired, right? Well at least the parents are!

All you want to do is put your child to bed and have everyone get to sleep without a fuss. Many times, it isn’t that simple.

Nighttime is perhaps one of the most relaxing times of day in our home. But it wasn’t always. My kids use to constantly try to finagle their way into obtaining more time to stay awake. My 7 year old would look for every excuse, then my 4 year old would say that she needed to go to the bathroom even though she already went, and my 1 year old would start crying and want to breastfeed again. You can also click here for more information.

If your kid has sleep apnea, it’s better to get cpap parts online, so you don’t have to look for them around town and get them shipped to your house, to help your kid sleep better.

Finally, I implemented some relaxation techniques, and now our routine runs smoothly with everyone going to sleep easily. Here are 9 tips I’ve learned to help my older children sleep:

Give your children a warm bath.
Use guided meditation to help your children unwind and relax. Use relaxing stories about the beach, and practice breathing in with the waves and out with the waves. There are some wonderful guided mediation options on YouTube if you prefer to let your child listen to someone else, or you can use your own voice to take their mind on a relaxing journey filled with imagery and deep breathing.
Use coconut oil and give your children a foot massage. Massages are a wonderful way to unwind and relax.
Play spa music on a CD in their room. The serene music will help their mind drift off and allow your children to sleep much faster.
Many children like a night light. We use a Himalayan salt lamp, which not only purifies the air and reduces electro-magnetic field radiation, but it has a very relaxing light color that looks like warm fire tone that promotes sleep.
Use room-darkening shades. This will help your child sleep longer and avoid any lights coming in the room. It will also help them to sleep longer in the morning instead of waking up as soon as the sun rises.
Put warm socks on your children’s feet. I use a towel warmer, and after the kids are tucked into bed, I put warm socks on their feet to help them relax.
Consider buying an air purifier. Jen has some researched suggestions, she manually reviewed air purifiers for smoke and has loads to say about the benefits of a quality air purifier. It is always easier to sleep when you breathe cleaner, air but the sound from the purifier can help children sleep.
Make sure that your child has a good quality mattress from https://www.migliorimaterassionline.com/, not many know that your bed plays a big role when it comes to sleep.

Reaping the fruits of Attachment Parenting

Editor’s note: Attachment Parenting International (API) is excited to announce that Effie Morchi, a blogger with APtly Said, has accepted the volunteer position of Assistant Editor of APtly Said. In addition to continuing to blog about her family life, she will be managing the development of special editorial projects for APtly Said, such as the upcoming observance of Mother’s Day. We have been impressed by her initiative as a writer, her desire to support API with her talents and time, as well as her intuitive understanding of both Attachment Parenting and API’s ethos. Welcome and congratulations, Effie!

Our kids had a week off from school recently, and as the week approached, I realized that our getaway plans would need to be cancelled since my husband and I had some pressing issues to deal with. I informed our 10-year-old Shelly and 8-year-old Ethan that we would stay home most of the week, explaining the situation and asking for their understanding.

I knew the week ahead would be very different than a typical week off school and, I suspected, not in a positive way in the eyes of the kids. We were to stay home most days with very few outings and little external socialization. With Shelly asserting her independence and privacy, and Ethan being a social butterfly, I braced myself for a difficult week.

And what a week it was…

The kids were playing at home together, coming up with new games and making each other laugh. When they took a break from playing, they negotiated peacefully to decide which movie to watch. They also played independently, respecting each other’s space. Shelly helped Ethan with his science project and other school work and Ethan showered us with warm hugs and kisses, occasionally asking how we were doing. It wasn’t perfect — there were occasions when the kids had their difficult moments and so did we, but it was perfectly reasonable.

At the end of the week, my husband and I were pleasantly surprised at how patient and supportive the kids were. Ethan has always been affectionate with us, but he was even more so during that week and it felt even more special. Shelly is a well-adjusted, cooperative child, but I sensed that she made the extra effort to coexist in harmony with her younger brother.

It was an ordinary, uneventful week, yet it was profound — we were reaping the fruits of Attachment Parenting.

I appreciated that our kids have responded to us in a time of need in the same way we have been responding to them: with consideration, empathy, affection and physical contact. They put their needs and wants on hold to support us when we needed them to do so.

I mulled over on the most challenging years of my life — the years I raised my two babies. Being a stay-at-home mom on-call 24/7 with minimal help was tough. Mostly, I felt grateful that I followed my instincts and dodged the sharp criticism from all the naysayers. I was told that my kids would have speech problems, because I taught them sign language. I was told that my kids would be clingy and needy as I consistently soothed them, responded to their cries and maintained close physical contact. When I was breastfeeding my baby frequently, on-demand, I was told that something was wrong with me or my baby, because it was just not “normal!”

It wasn’t easy, but I couldn’t see any other way to care for my kids. It felt right and it made sense to me, so I persevered. As I reflect on the past week as well as the past few years, I am pleased that I trusted that little voice inside me. And by swimming against the stream of mainstream parenting advice, I developed strength and resilience.

So, the next time you feel exhausted and overwhelmed with the stresses of parenting, please remind yourself: “This too shall pass.” And remember, before long, you will be gazing at the thriving tree you have been persistently and tenderly raising through the years, and when you look up, you will be delighted to find the radiant, splendid fruits of Attachment Parenting for you to marvel at. I promise!

*Graphic source: WebDesignHot

Editor’s pick: A kindness movement inspired by a potato

Looking back on the last decade since becoming a parent, I can see how Attachment Parenting International (API) values — trust, empathy, kindness, joy, compassion, peace — have shaped both my personal life and my professional career.

The choices I make have stemmed from these values. Once my first baby was born, I chose to work primarily from home, despite the smaller paycheck, so that I could provide consistent and loving care. Through the years, my career has transformed into one where I only work for organizations with the same values as espoused by API, because those are the values that I want to direct my life and that which I am striving to pass down to my children.

Recently, I read a Forbes interview with Daniel Lubetzky, founder and CEO of the 먹튀검증업체, in which he shared how his overarching value — kindness — has not only inspired his personal worldview but also a professional career of starting companies that embrace this worldview:

“Some people think I am some sort of special human being who is unusually kind. But this isn’t true at all. We all have this capacity, it’s just that we’re governed by the systems and structures in which we live and work, and by incentives and culture.”

What governs Daniel is his father’s stories. His dad was a Holocaust survivor. He was 9 years old when World War II began and wasn’t liberated from the Dachau concentration camp until he was 15. Daniel’s dad saw many horrors, but he also witnessed amazing kindness. One story that Daniel heard many times, that really had an impact on the direction of his life, was about a German soldier who would regularly throw a potato at his father’s feet. As Daniel shared in the Forbes interview:

“This small act was a kind of lifeblood, because it highlighted a common humanity and hope even in the bleakest circumstances.”

Daniel’s father raised his son with a deep appreciation of the values of kindness, compassion and hope wrapped in a parenting approach of unconditional love and support. Daniel, in turn, has lived out his life guided by those values, both personally and professionally.

When he was 26, Daniel founded PeaceWorks, a food company with the vision of bringing together Israelis, Arabs, Turks and others in conflict regions to make and sell products from the Middle East.

Daniel went on to found 3 more companies, and probably the best known of them all is KIND. I love their snack bars!

The whole cultural foundation of KIND is kindness, but its not at all a marketing ploy, as Daniel shared in the Forbes interview:

“A lot of people see what we’re doing as antithetical to business and the competitive environment. For me, empathy is an existential question – it’s about the survival of the human race.”

Moreover, Daniel has found empathy and kindness to be imperative to doing business. By understanding the motives of other people, especially during conflict, Daniel is able to reach a peaceful resolution and more productive place quicker — not to mention, that acts of kindness makes you happier.

Daniel and his KIND team make kindness the overarching theme of the workplace, also. Staff members regularly recognize one another, their friends or even strangers for their acts of kindness though email, snack giveaways, supporting various social causes, and cards to pass on to someone else.

His ultimate goal is to create a movement of balancing profit with social benefit, using KIND as a platform. But Daniel recognizes the danger of inadvertently commercializing kindness. We’ve all seen this before, such as when companies began using the word “natural” on their labels when their products weren’t truly what we, as consumers, define as natural. Daniel feels that it comes down to companies intentionally keeping kindness authentic, and that consumers can help keep companies accountable because we instinctively know the difference.

Daniel, and KIND, are continually seeking balance between being a profitable business and a movement leader, where both can reinforce one another without exploiting the other. For a business to be truly successful, it has to be able to be both economically sustainable and socially impactful. Otherwise, going back to Daniel’s view of empathy being existential, what’s the point for humanity?

**Potato photo source: FreeImages.com/Pascal Thauvin

**Stick figure photo source: FreeImages.com/John Evans

Editor’s pick: A moment of silence for the “mother” of doula work

I hired a doula for my third child’s birth. After an early preterm birth with my first and a medically necessary Cesarean with my second, my third baby was on track to be my first, and only, normal childbirth experience. I was pulling out all the stops, too — aiming for an unmedicated labor and a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean). I knew in my heart of hearts that having a doula was the best chance I had to reach my goals, what with the Cesarean surgical team waiting outside my hospital room’s doors “just in case,” as the VBAC agreement with the hospital read.

When it comes to pregnancy nutrition, mothers-to-be should consider supplementing with whole food vitamins. These types of vitamins are extracted from natural sources rather than chemically engineered, and the result is better pregnancy nutrition before conception, during fetal development and after childbirth.

Why Do Expectant Mothers Need Vitamin Supplements for Pregnancy Nutrition?

The human body is an amazing machine with a remarkable ability to get what it needs from the resources offered by nature. By eating a healthy diet, we are able to extract the necessary balance of vitamins, minerals, fats, and energy sources needed to keep our bodies running the way they were intended to work. Pregnancy nutrition requires us to be even more vigilant in getting the nutrients required so that the fetus is able to develop into a physically and mentally healthy baby.

The unfortunate truth is that many of us don’t eat a properly balanced diet any more, and the need for specialized pregnancy nutrition makes this even more evident. There are numerous factors that play into this change in the way we eat, including the availability, convenience, and low cost of processed foods. Adding supplements like whole food vitamins allows us access to regain some of those essential compounds that are missing from the processed foods we eat on a daily basis.

Why Are Whole Food Vitamins Better?

Whole food vitamins utilize sources found in nature, rather than synthesized compounds. The advantage, whether as a part of pregnancy nutrition or not, is that they are more easily absorbed and utilized by the human body. Most of us know that the best places to find health-sustaining nutrients is through a diet that includes fresh fruits and vegetables, for example, but few of us actually get enough of these foods in our day-to-day regimens. Whole food vitamins are extracted from these fruits and vegetables, as well as a variety of other naturally occurring sources. Because the body recognize these compounds-as opposed to synthetic or isolated vitamins-it knows how to put them to use. In the case of vitamins that have been isolated from their whole food sources or even created in the lab, as much as 90% of them pass directly through our bodies with no actual benefit.

A pregnancy nutrition plan usually includes a need for extra vitamins. It is nearly unreasonable to add these healthy components to a diet only to extract 10% of the actual benefits. Instead, making whole food vitamins a part of an overall pregnancy nutrition regimen helps ensure that the nutrients are actually being absorbed and used for the health of both the baby and the mother.

Where Do Whole Food Vitamins Come From?

The whole food vitamins and Sunergetic Products used for pregnancy nutrition come from a variety of natural sources. Some are extracted from beets, alfalfa, and bee pollen, for example. Rather than simply isolating these nutrients, they remain attached to their whole food ingredients to allow the body to recognize and readily utilize them. Other sources range from herbs like parsley and to less obvious candidates like fossilized coral. Coral provides the calcium that is such an important part of pregnancy nutrition.

Because the whole food vitamins recommended for pregnancy nutrition also include live enzymes, they allow even greater access by the body. These enzymes help to break down the nutrients, which include antioxidants, in order to be absorbed by the cells that use them for proper functioning. By processing the whole food vitamins at low temperatures, manufacturers are able to preserve these live enzymes and create the most powerful supplements that science and nature can team up to make.

My doula made all the difference. Not only did I reach my birthing goals, but I also got to hold the only one of my 3 babies for the first time after birth. He was delivered and placed immediately upon my chest, and I was finally able to call the shots with one of my newborns, such as when he would be removed for weighing and bathing. I had no say with either of my first two babies, and I credit my doula for giving back control of my birth experience to me.

Dana, 90, passed away Feb. 2 at her home in Fairfield, Connecticut, USA. She was a medical anthropologist who studied under cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead. The women cofounded the Human Lactation Center in Westport, Connecticut, USA, in the 1970s.

Dana was more than a student, being among the first scientists to challenge formula companies on the link among formula use and high infant mortality in developing countries. She went on to successfully pressure formula companies to educate women in third-world countries that formula should be used as a supplement to, not a replacement of, breastfeeding.

Dana also promoted breastfeeding here at home in the United States, seeking a way to restore the intuitive breastfeeding support lost to mothers of her generation. She summed it up well in an interview with The New York Times Magazine in 1970:

“When Grandmother walked out of the nursery and took up painting and golf, out with her went the whole cultural tradition of pampering mother along with baby. No one is there to tell her how to hold the nursing infant, how long to keep him suckling or how to care for uncomfortably full breasts or irritated nipples. We prefer to leave the responsibility to medical authorities, usually males who are uninformed about the nonmedical aspects of breastfeeding.”

Perhaps her most pivotal contribution to breastfeeding support came in 1969 when her research gave her the idea of the “doula” — a term that Dana is credited with coining and which is derived from the Greek word for “female servant.” From then on, Dana advocated for the use of doulas to guide mothers during and after childbirth with the goal of more successful breastfeeding.

So it is because of Dana’s efforts half a continent away, 40 years before, that my doula was able to give me a truly healing and transformative birth experience — not to mention, doulas around the world now doing the same for countless other women, giving them and their babies the best start in bonding and breastfeeding and a secure attachment relationship.

We all owe Dana Raphael a moment of gratitude for helping to change the landscape of childbirth and breastfeeding support and continue to push the Attachment Parenting movement forward to where it is today.

**Photo source: Free Images.com/agastecheg

My favorite part of the body

Our young children — still — master the natural, simple and intuitive connection between body, mind and emotion. Let’s support and inspire each other to live with more ease and calm, every single day. And in case you forgot how to do this, let your kids be your teacher.

Last school year, my daughter and her Grade 1 classmates worked on a classroom project called “My Favorite Part of the Body.” Students were asked to identify one part of their body that they particularly liked. The teacher snapped a picture of whatever body part the kids chose, and each child came up with a text outlining why this body part was their favorite.

When the parents were invited to visit the classroom to have a look at their children’s works of art, my daughter enthusiastically pulled me toward the picture she had created. When I saw it and read what she had to say, my heart melted! This is what my then 6-year-old girl came up with:

Looking at her artwork, there were several things that immediately struck me:

The adorable innocence and the natural, simple unconditional body love radiating through the picture and text;
The natural and simply basal connection my little one formed between her lungs and belly, the act of deep breathing, and the positive feeling of relaxation and calm which it can bring about;
How much our children value seeing us parents live and model easy, positive, simple and natural connections between body, mind and emotion.

Reflecting on this — and on the fact that we grown-ups ever so often seem to find ourselves in a state of moderate to total body-mind-emotion disconnection, often accompanied by a rather negative body image and self-awareness — my mom heart started wondering:

When, why and where did we lose this connection?
And how can we gently support our growing children and adolescents in maintaining and nourishing this natural, simple, intuitive connection to their bodies, minds and emotions?

Maybe the answer lies here: Let’s practice, grow and flow together, inspiring each other every day by practicing the simple art of mindfully and intuitively tuning into our bodies, minds and emotions.

In case you forgot how to do this or need some extra inspiration, just take a look at your kids and let them be your teacher! Observe them in their natural, innocent way of embodying a positive mind-body-emotion connection.

How simple is that!

We are all blessed with a wonderful body that includes a stomach. Besides our stomach, our torso also includes our lungs — and the whole thing is somehow connected. And, hey, with the help of our lungs (and diaphragm) and belly, we can breathe in and out — not only this, we can breathe deeply into our bellies.

When we perform this simple act of deep belly breathing for a couple of moments, it might actually affect the way we feel in a positive way: We might feel more calm and relaxed or maybe just plain good, happy, soothed, at ease, de-stressed, ___________ (fill in the blank).

Our body and mind can do amazing things for us, easily — no elaborate studies, gurus or equipment needed! We simply have to remember and trust these naturally given abilities — to feel into our bodies, and then practice what feels natural, good and intuitive, like deep belly breathing in a moment where we feel tense, sad or anxious. (These are moments when we naturally gravitate toward more agitated, fast and shallow “chest breathing.” Observe yourself and your breathing patterns in these moments.)

Start right here where you are, one deep belly breath at a time — your body, your mind, your emotional state and your kids will thank you!

Editor’s pick: Breastfeeding in jail

I took a breastfeeding support call a few years ago from a woman who was spending a week in a county jail but wasn’t being allowed to use her breast pump. The situation didn’t end well. The jail never budged on its policies, and the woman lost her milk supply, but not before dealing with excruciating engorgement.

On an immediate note, this was a hard situation. But when looking at it from the perspective of breastfeeding as an intervention in a new mother’s life, this was doubly heart-breaking.

I hope that mother was able to turn her life around, but it would’ve been much easier if the prison system had a more thorough understanding of attachment and the potential that becoming a new mother — especially when breastfeeding — has in changing the trajectory of an at-risk mother’s life, not to mention her baby’s life. Wellness writer Meryn Callander explains this phenomenon in her book, Why Dads Leave.

I’m excited to see at least one county jail changing its policies in breastfeeding and mother-baby time among inmates.

“It’s in the interest of everybody to really assist a woman in that situation to rebuild her life and create a healthy home for her child,” Diana Claitor, director of the Texas Jail Project, told the Texas Observer in this week’s Editor’s pick, “Bonding Behind Bars” by health writer Alexis Garcia-Ditta.

In this article, we learn about the Travis County Jail in Texas, USA — one of just 4 county jails in the United States that allows breastfeeding on-site.

Now, to be honest, this still not ideal. The jail only allows moms to breastfeed their newborns up to 2 times a day, 4 days a week. The article doesn’t mention anything about pumping, which I’m hoping is just an oversight, because how else are these moms supposed to keep up their milk supply beyond a few days?

But if a mother is able to keep up her milk supply, and her baby is willing to latch even when only offered the opportunity sporadically at best, those women are rewarded with private time with their babies for a couple hours each time.

This is a huge step — though it’s still not enough. These moms need to have constant access to their babies, not only to be able to breastfeed successfully but also to actually be able to use new motherhood as a turning-around point in their lives. The article is a bit lax on the risks of separating mothers and their children, really downplaying the attachment component.

But it is a step in the right direction, at least.

*Photo from Free Images.com/Cyan Li

Kindness is contagious

Editor’s note: This week, Feb. 14-20, is Random Acts of Kindness Week, an observance created by the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation that is right in line with the values espoused by Attachment Parenting International (API) families, local API Leaders and volunteers who practice kindness every day by following the third of API’s Eight Principles of Parenting: Respond with Sensitivity.

Did you know that kindness is teachable?

“It’s kind of like weight training,” said Richard Davidson, PhD, psychology and psychiatry professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, director of the Waisman Laboratory for Brain Imaging and Behavior, and founder of the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds. “We found that people can actually build up their compassion ‘muscle’ and respond to others’ suffering with care and a desire to help.”

Kindness is contagious. The positive effects of kindness are experienced in the brain of everyone who witnessed the act, improving their mood and making them significantly more likely to “pay it forward.” This means one good deed in a crowded area can create a domino effect and improve the day of dozens of people! Spending a few hours a week assisting at a food pantry is sure to create a sense of accomplishment in those that do volunteer. Knowing that their labour has benefited their community is not only a positive action for themselves, but for the community itself. Bringing others up out of their predicament and possibly providing the resources to acquire employment. make it happen is a Media on Mars initiative designed to help ensure good projects get off the ground.

Kindness increases:

The Love Hormone — Witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, occasionally referred to as the “love hormone,” which increases our self-esteem and optimism, which is extra helpful when we’re anxious or shy in a social situation.
Energy — According to Christine Carter, PhD, Senior Fellow of the University of California-Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, about half of participants in one study reported that they feel stronger and more energetic after helping others. Many also reported feeling calmer and less depressed, with increased feelings of self-worth.
Happiness — A recent Harvard Business School survey of happiness in 136 countries found that people who are altruistic — in this case, people who were generous financially, such as with charitable donations — were happiest overall.
Lifespan — Also according to Dr. Carter, people who volunteer tend to experience fewer aches and pains. Giving help to others protects overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease. People ages 55 and older who volunteer for 2 or more organizations have an impressive 44% lower likelihood of dying early, and that’s after sifting out every other contributing factors, such as physical health, exercise, gender, habits like smoking, and marital status. This is a stronger effect than exercising 4 times a week or going to church.
Pleasure — According to research from Emory University, when you are kind to another person, your brain’s pleasure and reward centers light up, as if you were the recipient of the good deed, not the giver. This phenomenon is called the “helper’s high.”
Serotonin — Like most medical antidepressants, kindness stimulates the production of serotonin. This feel-good chemical heals your wounds, calms you down and makes you happy.

Kindness decreases:

Pain — Engaging in acts of kindness produces endorphins, the brain’s natural painkiller!
Stress — Perpetually kind people have 23% less cortisol, the “stress hormone,” and age slower than the average population.
Anxiety — According to a study by the University of British Columbia, a group of highly anxious individuals performed at least 6 acts of kindness a week. After 1 month, there was a significant increase in positive moods, relationship satisfaction and a decrease in social avoidance in socially anxious individuals.
Depression — According to Stephen Post, PhD, preventive medicine professor of Stony Brook (NY) University School of Medicine and founder/director of the Center for Medical Humanities, Compassionate Care and Bioethics, when we give of ourselves, everything from life satisfaction to self-realization to physical health is significantly improved. Mortality is delayed, depression is reduced, and well-being and good fortune are increased.
Blood pressure — Committing acts of kindness lowers blood pressure. According to David R. Hamilton, PhD, science writer and founder of the Spirit Aid Foundation, acts of kindness create emotional warmth, which releases oxytocin, the “love hormone.” Oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide, which dilates the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure, and therefore, oxytocin is known as a “cardioprotective” hormone. It protects the heart by lowering blood pressure.

Imagine a world where people look out for each other, where we all pay it forward, where success is measured in selfless acts, where kindness is the philosophy of life.

We are in the love business

Valentine’s Day has traditionally been a holiday for couples, an observance set aside for parents to give each other a special token of their love buy why not give you a present for yourself at Gainesville Coins you can have plenty of gold, silver and much more to start a beautiful collection.

Bouquets of flowers, boxes of chocolate, candy hearts and cards with arrow-wielding cupids come to mind. Aside from giving gifts, the thegirlfriendactivationsystem.com discusses more ways to make someone feel special during Valentine’s Day.

What doesn’t readily come to mind, but perhaps should, are neurons deep within the brain branching out between brain cells, cementing memories — both conscious and subconscious — to create a child’s knowing of love.

We ask you to give just $5 for Attachment Parenting International’s “Spread the Love” campaign. Each donor will receive a free API Teleseminar recording as our gift.

We may not think of this when we first discover Attachment Parenting. As parents expecting our first baby, or in the midst of that first year of our child’s life, or in the throes of toddler’s emotions, our understanding of Attachment Parenting is set on a more near-sighted goal: How do I as a parent, in this moment…prepare for pregnancy, birth and parenting…feed with love and respect…respond with sensitivity…use nurturing touch…ensure safe sleep, physically and emotionally…provide consistent, loving care…practice positive discipline…strive for balance in our family and personal lives?

In other words, when we are young in our own parenting journeys — and especially with infants and young children — our focus in Attachment Parenting is in the here and now. Attachment Parenting International’s Eight Principles of Parenting guide us to choose parenting behaviors that lead to more peaceful, compassionate, trusting, empathic and joyful relationships with our children. And in return, while it may be challenging at times to go against the cultural grain, we are ultimately rewarded with secure attachments to our children.

As our children grow older, and especially as we mature in our parenting journey, we begin to see the long-range possibilities of Attachment Parenting. We still enjoy the secure attachments within our families, and we still have challenges to overcome through our child’s development, but it gets easier to see beyond the day-to-day challenges of navigating what was once, to us, a new approach to parenting. We begin to be able to see Attachment Parenting as not only having positive consequences in our families but also our communities. What would it be like if all families practiced Attachment Parenting, if all children were able to grow up with a secure attachment to their parents? What would it be like for our communities if an entire generation grew up in peaceful, compassionate, trusting, empathic and joyful home environments?

I wonder, from time to time, what the dating scene will be like when my children are at the age of searching for a spouse. Who will they marry? What will their spouse’s values be? Will it be in line with what they’ve grown into through our Attachment Parenting home?

My children’s brains are being wired for peace, compassion, trust, empathy and joy. As so many of their peers, they like to play “House,” each taking the role of a family member, sometimes a parent and sometimes a child. Their play reflects how our family works. My 8-year-old daughter recently shared her concern about how other girls in her class play “House” while at school:

“I don’t understand why parents spank or ground their kids,” she said.

“Do you think there’s a better way for them to teach their kids?” I asked.

“Yeah, just talk to them,” she said. After a moment, she added, “And be sure not to do whatever you don’t want your child to do, yourself.”

Of course, positive discipline is more complicated than this. It folds in to the remaining of API’s Eight Principles of Parenting to create a certain home environment for positive discipline to work.

So, it’s not so easy to tell parents to stop spanking their kids or to stop having their babies cry-it-out or to be mindful of what childcare provider they choose or any other parenting behavior that does not closely align with Attachment Parenting. This is why it can be difficult for some parents to fully embrace Attachment Parenting. Attachment Parenting is a lifestyle that encompasses the goals of “raising secure, joyful, and empathic children,” as per API’s mission.

The second half of our mission is to support parents “in order to strengthen families and create a more compassionate world.”

API is in the love business. Volunteers around the world are working everyday on programs, locally and online, to educate and support parents in raising children whose brain neurons are forming each child’s reality of love. We ultimately want to see every child grow with the understanding that love is secure, peaceful, joyful, compassionate, trusting and empathic.

We want to banish parenting practices that raise children who grow up to become adults with an understanding of love as insecure — as a scientifically estimated 40% of the general population does — resulting in future parents who then struggle with trust and commitment, anger and fear, and possibly low self-esteem, poor coping skills, anxiety, depression or an insatiable fear of being abandoned.

Investing in API’s mission is an opportunity to not only ensure that programs and resources are available for you and your family, but also for the families in your community, state, nation and world — with the goal of not only love-centered, peaceful relationships at home but also in your child’s future adult home as well.

Celebrate Valentine’s Day this year by investing in your child’s future through our “Spread the Love” campaign and receive a free API Teleseminar recording in return for your generosity.