Rita Brhel – Page 16

Busy as Can Bee

I do most of the correspondence for my work over the phone or e-mail or in ways that don’t require a peek inside my home. It’s not just the baskets of clean laundry stacked in my living room the past week or the pile of dirty dishes on my countertop or my chronically unmade bed that makes me unsure about using Skype and other webcam services. It’s the whole juggling act of working and parenting.

The other day, I was attending a webinar – thankfully not one with video-conferencing capabilities – on honey bee colony losses for an article commissioned by a local magazine. It’s a good thing most webinars are recorded, and if they’re not, their information can usually be double-checked on a website somewhere or at least by giving the speaker on the webinar a quick phone call.

So, I’m trying to write down various quotes and all the pertinent information on these beekeeping management surveys. A lot of research, something that requires quite a bit of attention. And I notice that the baby needs a diaper change.

The webinar is playing on my laptop, on my bed. The bed’s not made, so there’s only the thin fitted sheet between baby’s bum and my pillow-top mattress. I check out the situation and figure it won’t take me long to change his diaper, but in the middle of the said change, something comes on the webinar that catches my attention and I drop what I’m doing to hurriedly catch up my notes.

Somewhere in all this, my five-year-old and four-year-old burst into my room arguing about how each wanted to draw on this same piece of paper (we have a whole box of paper!), and one of the cats jumps up onto the laptop’s keyboard, muting the webinar. And I’m squinting my eyes at the laptop screen trying to concentrate all my energy into copying down the words that the man on the computer is saying without taking the time to process what that means in the scope of the story. No time for thinking – at that moment, I was a photocopier memorizing the words coming through my ears and the images coming through my eyes and using my fingers to put them on paper. I don’t have a true photographic memory, but I’m pretty darn close, which is very helpful in overwhelming moments.

I don’t know how many minutes pass, but somehow I do manage to get everything I need down on paper, including intact quotes, and I’m able to mediate my daughters’ quarrel without hurrying through it. I hear a noise, one that usually indicates a diaper change is needed and I think, Thank goodness I got a diaper on him. Except I don’t. And now I need to do a load of laundry, by far my least favorite activity in the realm of housework.

This is an everyday occurrence. Maybe not the same events, but certainly the amount of distractions. Work, kids, kids, cat, other cat, mail, phone call, work, kids, mail is here, I’m hungry, work, kids, kids, need a nap, kids, work, kids, need a break…get a break, whew!…and repeat. Working from home while being a stay-at-home parent is a lifestyle choice, that’s for sure. This may sound like chaos, but it’s the only way I know to work and work well. I need that little bit of chaos to give my brain the motivation to hyper-organize to be able to be as productive as I am. For me, the fuller my life is, the happier I am. Although I do wish there was a way for me to avoid having to do laundry…

This post is part of the Delicate Balance series, which chronicles the juggling act of work-at-home attachment parent Rita Brhel.

How to Raise a Disrespectful Teen

There have been a lot of opinions published online regarding the Dad who shot his teen daughters laptop. His whole point is that too many parents are being lax and ineffective and are raising spoiled, entitled children. I view it not so much as lax parenting, but uninformed parenting – the kind that increases the likelihood of raising the kind of child that the Dad is speaking of.

So, if you want to raise a disrespectful teen, here are some sure-fire ways to do it!

Responding to Lying Positively

Like many new parents, I naively believed that once I got past the first few years of physically intense infant and toddler care, that surely the rest of childhood would be comparatively easy. By the time my third child came along, I learned to relish those early years. Children don’t get easier to raise the older they get, and they don’t necessarily get harder either. Every age and stage has its own joys and challenges.

One of the challenges I’ve encountered lately that has really made me think has been my five-year-old daughter’s tendency to lie. Read on…

Mommy Has Testicles!

“I bet you didn’t know my mommy has testicles!”

I bet you didn’t see this one coming, I’m thinking, as my precocious four-year-old daughter, E, my second born, bounces up to the man who I was hoping to become a new client. A father himself, he’s been dabbling in selling vegetables from his home garden and is looking to expand this hobby into a side business by getting a professionally designed label. I’d barely charge him anything for it. He suggested trading it for a box of produce this summer and throwing in a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Sounds more than fair to me.

“Hey! I bet you didn’t know that my mommy has testicles!”

The man looks at me. I nod my head, and say, “Why yes, yes, I do.”

The man raises his eyebrows. E notices his confusion. She’s used to having to explain what she’s talking about, because not all of her consonants come out right. For example, her “c” and “st” sound like “t,” so that both “star” and “car” sound like “tar.” So, she starts explaining why Mommy does indeed have testicles.

“You know, those things that the tid has, that makes white things on the whales?” E asks.

I translate. By “tid,” she means “squid,” and by “white things,” she means “scars.” Squids grab hold of the whales in their mighty battles for life and death, and the squid’s arms have hooks on them that tear the whales’ skin, which leave scars after they heal.

“Tentacles?” the man asks.

“Yeah! Testicles!” E says excitedly.

Tentacles. Testicles. There’s only a couple letter differences there.

The man asks why I don’t correct her. I do, but “testicles” is easier for E to say than “tentacles.” She just learned the word, after all.

At home, we had looked up information on squids on the computer together – studying photos and watching YouTube videos, listening to me read aloud various facts about the squid, acting out underwater life in our family room. On the drive up to meet the man, we were imagining that we were a family of squids. I was using my tentacles to protect my three baby squids from the perils of the ocean, including whales. Certainly it’s easy for me to switch gears from playing with my kids to working, but to E, I was still Mommy Squid even when talking about making a food label.

This post is part of the “Delicate Balance” series, which chronicles the juggling act of work-at-home attachment parent Rita Brhel.

Can You Please Retrieve My Bagel From Under the Bed?

I don’t normally eat anything found under my bed. The vacuum cleaner can only reach so far. I also have two house cats, and that’s where they go to get a little R-and-R from my three kids. Plus I do have a kitchen stocked full with food found in usual places like the fridge or pantry. But since going gluten-free this winter for medical reasons, it’s not often I get a chance to eat a beautifully soft bagel mounded with cream cheese spread. And I really wanted that bagel.

Losing the bagel – sunny side down, mind you – to the depths reminded me of a great disappointment a few months earlier. I had just left the doors of Burger King with my three children, a baby in a car seat and two girls, ages four and five, and in the crux of my arm balanced a refill of Dr. Pepper that I was really looking forward to drinking. It was a little breezy, and the older children were tired, and the parking lot seemed to be especially busy. When I got to the car, I put the drink cup on the hood and began the process of getting the car seat into its base and the older children into their booster seats. Triumphant with how smoothly things seemed to be going, I reached for the drink cup – when suddenly, a gust of wind shot it off the car and my longed-after Dr. Pepper dumped all over the ground. I was so disheartened that I didn’t even think of going through the drive-thru to get another one.

So, yes, I wanted that bagel. I didn’t want a repeat Dr. Pepper episode.

How did that bagel get under the bed, cream cheese side down, stuck in the dust bunnies and cat hair? Well, I was doing one of my infamous multitasking attempts. I was breastfeeding my baby while sitting on my bed, using the breast pump on the other breast (due to chronic yeast), talking on the phone with a client, sketching out an idea for a project with a pen and notepad, and eating this bagel – at the same time. The baby is at that age where anything within reach is in danger and he batted at the bagel. It dropped to the floor and rolled under the bed. I couldn’t express my dismay more than grimacing a little, because I was still on the phone. And I couldn’t attempt to get the bagel before the 30-second rule, because I was still tethered to the breast pump.

My husband didn’t even blink when I asked him to please retrieve my bagel from under the bed, like I do this kind of stuff all the time…

This post is part of the “Delicate Balance” series, which chronicles the juggling act of work-at-home attachment parent Rita Brhel.

Baby Signing a Practical Way of Communicating

I was never one of those people, pre-kids, who romanticized parenting. I worried instead about how my baby and I would communicate and how I would deduce from her cries the action required to meet her needs.

My sister had used some basic baby signs with my niece Dakota, teaching her to sign “more” and “milk,” but the significance of this seemingly simple form of communication didn’t hit home until one afternoon when my sister was trying to help Dakota fall asleep by giving her a backrub. When she stopped, Dakota sat up and signed “more.”

I was fascinated by how she had extrapolated a sign previously used only to request more food to ask for more massage. In that moment, I realized the potential that signing had for a deeper level of communication. Attachment Parenting International leader Jamie Birdsong Nieroda, of New York, tells her story on The Attached Family online magazine…

The Technology of Attachment

Smart grid technology саn affect energy pricing іn twо wауѕ: raising thе rates fоr high-demand peak periods аnd lowering іt durіng off-peak tіmеѕ. Thе benefits оf thе smart grid саn gо bоth wауѕ: fоr thоѕе whо аrе tapped іntо thе smart grid аnd аrе creating аll оf thеіr оwn energy, selling excess energy bасk tо thе grid bесоmеѕ a viable option. Thе excess energy соuld thеn bе credited tо thе consumer’s account fоr thе month.

Aѕ mоrе аnd mоrе people bесоmе familiar wіth thе concept оf alternate forms оf energy аnd аrе willing tо install аnd uѕе thеѕе systems іn thеіr homes, thе utility companies wіll need tо make lеѕѕ energy. Instead оf losing money hоwеvеr, thеу саn simply start changing thе wау thаt thеу charge. Thіѕ соuld bе accomplished bу moving frоm a flat rate ѕуѕtеm tо charging fоr actual usage. A smart ѕуѕtеm thаt actually charges mоrе fоr high demand periods wоuld create smarter consumers аѕ thеу work tо kеер thеіr energy costs lоw and will also compare energy options and pricing. Thе utility companies wіll ѕtіll make a profit аnd thе consumers wіll bе іn better control оf thеіr оwn consumption.

Whеn mоrе people аrе connected tо photovoltaic systems fоr instance, thе cost оf thе energy created bу thе utility companies wіll gо down; lеѕѕ production equals lеѕѕ cost, еxсерt fоr thоѕе customers nоt using solar power аt аll. Thоѕе customers wоuld thеn hаvе tо make conscious аnd clear decisions regarding whеn аnd hоw thеу uѕе energy іn thеіr homes оr pay thе higher bills. Thе PV user wоuld thеn ѕее reduced charges аnd possibly credits аt thе end оf еасh month. In fact, іt іѕ entirely possible fоr thе right ѕуѕtеm tо start paying fоr itself іn аѕ little аѕ еіght years, depending оn a wide number оf factors.

Thе mоrе people whо аrе selling thеіr excess energy bасk tо thе grid, thе lеѕѕ energy thе utility companies wіll hаvе tо generate thеіr оwn. If еnоugh people sell excess energy bасk, thе utility companies bесоmе giant holding facilities fоr offset solar power making іt possible fоr prices tо bе dropped еvеn furthеr. Anу аmоunt charged wоuld bе аlmоѕt pure profit іf mоѕt оf thе energy thаt іѕ sent оut іѕ bеіng mаdе аnd returned tо thе grid bу оthеrѕ, I’d encourage реорlе tо look at оthеr еnеrgу рrоvіdеrѕ lіkе Amigo Energy, уоu’d be surprised at what they саn оffеr.

Anу reduction іn thе utility bills wоuld bе welcome tо mоѕt Americans whо hаvе struggled undеr thе weight оf crushing heating costs fоr thе lаѕt fеw winters wіth nо real relief іn sight, fоr this, that is why I recommend the commercial plumbers help to avoid the waist and to have a secure installation.

Eco20/20 іѕ a cutting edge informational site. Thе primary focus оf thе site іѕ clean energy. Fоr аlmоѕt twо year Eco20/20 hаѕ bееn a leader іn forward thinking articles.

Celebrate Your Toddler’s “No!”

“No!” is probably the most commonly used word in toddlerhood! It flies out of our children’s mouths before they even have time to really think about what they are saying “no” to. When my five children were young, they were allowed to say “no” as much as they wanted to. I think “no” is an important word for asserting their feelings and desires and, unless it is a matter of safety, they have the right to have their opinion listened to and respected. Find out why Canadian parenting educator Judy Arnall says that children should be allowed to say “no” on The Attached Family online magazine at http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2964