A Look at Your Discipline Style

I lead a meeting for the S. Austin Attachment Parenting chapter this morning on finding your discipline style. So often parents talk about what they don’t want to do: spank, shame, do what their parents did, etc. Figuring out what they do want to do is harder, especially when they didn’t have good models.

Before looking at any specific discipline strategies or techniques, it’s worth considering both where we’re coming from and where we’d like to go. Feel free to answer any of the questions in comments or just do it privately as a way of increasing your awareness about your own history and goals.

  • How were you disciplined as a child?
  • How did you react/feel when being disciplined?
  • What would you like to do the same or differently?
  • What are your goals for disciplining your child(ren)?
  • What discipline issues are coming up in your household these days?
  • What is causing discipline conflicts
    • child (temperament, developmental level, tired/hungry, etc) or
    • you (need to feel in control, unnecessary or unreasonable demand, disrespectful delivery, punitive approach, etc)?
  • What are your triggers? How do you express your feelings and cope with frustrations?
  • What are you doing well as a disciplinarian?
  • What do you wish you were doing differently?

What other questions would you add to this list?