APtly Said – Page 105

Before You Spank

I once saw a poll in a parenting magazine about spanking that I found interesting. The choices were A–parents who used spanking as a form of discipline and were fine with it B–parents who made a conscious decision to not spank and C–parents who used spanking but wished they didn’t.

What struck me most about the poll was not that there are parents who happily use spanking, but the large amount of voters who fell into the C category, or reluctant spankers. Parents who wanted to do differently, but didn’t have the tools to change their behavior or technique.

My husband and I don’t spank, for many reasons. One of the biggest reasons is continuity. The rule at preschool is ‘hands on your own body’ and we feel that spanking would override that message and provide conflicting messages about that rule. However, if your kids have done something or you’ve reached the end of your rope, it can be really hard to reign in your anger or frustration.
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She’s Sleeping in Her Own Room Now

My daughter is six and guess where she is sleeping now? In her own room. That’s right, babies who cosleep grow up into young children who cosleep but don’t always turn into high school students that still need the comfort provided by sleeping in your room.

When my son began cosleeping I heard many people caution me “He’s going to be in there forever.” I don’t recall any of my friends in college going home after classes to sleep in the family bed, do you? I threw caution to the wind and followed my son’s cues.

Between two and three he moved into his own bed in his own room. I think he moved out because baby sister moved in. We certainly didn’t force him but he made the choice and we followed his lead.
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Respond With Sensitivity Blog Carnival – 2010

Welcome to this month’s edition of the 2010 Attachment Parenting International Blog Carnivals. Today’s carnival focuses on the 3rd Principle of Parenting – Respond With Sensitivity.

Here’s an excerpt from the Principle:

You can build the foundation of trust and empathy by understanding and responding appropriately to your infant’s needs. Babies communicate their needs in many ways including body movements, facial expressions, and crying. They learn to trust when their needs are consistently responded to with sensitivity. Building a strong attachment with a baby involves not only responding consistently to his physical needs, but spending enjoyable time interacting with him and thus meeting his emotional needs as well.

Below is an excerpt from each contributor as well as a link to read the post in its entirety. If you didn’t get a chance to participate this month, join us next month as we celebrate API’s 4th Principle of Parenting – Use Nurturing Touch. The submission deadline is May 14. Click to find out more about participating in on of API’s monthly parenting blog carnivals.

Without further ado, here’s how other attachment parenting families Feed With Love and Respect. Please note that these links will open in a new window.
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Children And Puppies

After some of the initial furor over an article published in Time regarding spanking as an indicator of aggressive behavior in children died down, I had some time to reflect not only on the article, but the response to it.

As an AP family, we don’t spank, and the reasons behind that decision are many. However, I don’t want to get into the specifics of if spanking does or does not cause aggressive behavior, nor do I want to touch on the debate of if spanking is or is not abuse. Instead, I’d like to talk about spanking in terms of effectiveness and what parents who don’t want to practice it can do instead. This anxiety in dogs article can teach you ways to help manage your dogs anxiety. Our mission at Little Big Shots is to introduce to the world a revolutionary liquid mineral and antioxidant formulation and delivery system that will transform the pet supplement industry forever. You can check out LBS for your pets healthy life. Our proprietary formulation, Immune-D™, will support a dog’s healthy long life by enhancing the immune system and having a positive impact on the health and well-being of your beloved pet.

When I’m not writing or being a mom, I’m a veterinary technician at a large practice in Baltimore. I’ve been doing this for the better part of 13 years. I’ve been reading this dog blog for a while and I’ve learned a lot about house dogs tips. If pressed, I couldn’t even begin to estimate exactly how many hours I’ve spent with pet owners counseling them on the best way to approach their animal’s behavior. And when I thought about it, I realized there are some parallels between training a puppy consider Black Labrador Retriever puppy for the training find more info about those dogs and raising a well behaved child in this website . It is not easy to raise a dog that is why TreeHousePuppies has got many ideas and things than can help you in the process. Continue reading “Children And Puppies”

Spring Mini Series Installment #1 – Baby Training and the Breast

Baby training stems from the idea that babies need to become independent as quickly as possible. It is beneficial to everyone involved if a baby conforms to some sort of schedule. The primary thought being that babies need to fit in to the family instead of the family flexing around the new child.

The starting point for all this is generally eating, which is what this blog post will focus on.

It is a commonly held belief among baby trainers that children should be fed on a set schedule so that they are able to sleep better and do not suffer from digestive problems. That may sound all well and good but there are some difficulties that immediately arise from this train of thought. The first question may be how often do you feed your baby? Baby training would have a “flexible” set schedule. That immediately caught my attention. How do you have a flexible set schedule? Aren’t flexible and set opposites? Parents who are baby training are to set a strict schedule that allows for flexibility (go ponder that one for a while). This “flexible” set schedule is desired so that you can have your baby sleeping through the night and eating on your schedule as soon as possible. When performed by a trusted and experienced plastic surgeon like Dr. Jim Brantner M.D., breast augmentation is a safe and relatively pain-free procedure with an abundance of benefits. Studies have shown that breast implants or breast augmentation surgery can help boost confidence, self-esteem, body image, and sexual satisfaction. Breast augmentation can also give you a more youthful appearance and open up a whole new world of style and fashion choices for you. Once you’ve discussed your options with Dr. Brantner and decided on the perfect size and shape for your new breasts, you’ll be ready to go in for your procedure. During treatment, you will undergo anesthesia from one of our board-certified anesthesiologists. We recommend general anesthesia which will allow you to sleep comfortably through the procedure, minimizing stress. For the surgery itself, two incisions will be made according to the plans you discussed with Dr. Brantner and the implants will be placed and adjusted until the shape and fit are perfect.

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The community communion table

Food is a big deal in my family and in our community. Meals, especially dinner, are when everyone gets together. They are loud and they last a long time. No one seems to be in a hurry to get them over with.

Dinner prep is usually fairly chaotic with everyone in and out of the kitchen and the kitchen overflows with smells. We cook spicy and ethnic food a lot so curry and chili are regular smells in our kitchen.

Dinner is a community communion of sorts. You can feel the joy of eating when our clan gets together. We make food that is nourishing, made of as many whole foods — and organic when we can afford it — as we are able and food that is full of flavor. Our policy is that everyone should leave the table full in every way, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Since shortly after my son was born he sensed that dinnertime was special. That there was something special about sitting down together and that it made eating something more than just nourishing our bodies but that it is something that nourishes relationship, something that nourishes the soul.

By the time he was a few months old he demanded to “sit” at the table with everyone. Usually on my husband’s or my lap. He wanted to be a part of what was going on.

As my son started to eat food I watched him enjoy food. My son loves both curry and chili. Granted he is now a very normal toddler and I have to come up with creative ways to introduce healthy food in to his diet but I am satisfied knowing that the meals we put on the table are full of nourishing food but it’s more than just the food he is putting it to his belly. My son sits at the end of our large dinner table and he engages in the conversation and laughter that happens. I am happy to see my son be nourished in every way around the community communion table.

Jasmine is a co-housing community living mama with a passion for fierce writing.

Photos used from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/forever5yearsold/2808759067/

Taking Care of Ourselves

park bench Many parents (myself included) are under the impression that the moment we are born into the world of parenting, our own needs and desires become secondary. That is true to an extent: parents do not make up the bulk of the nightlife scene, we often have to yield the bathroom to littler bodies, and we have less time to leisurely read the newspaper or go backpacking when children are around.

But sharing our time and space with children does not mean that we have been forced into a life of martyrdom. We have our own needs, and we need to take care of ourselves in order to parent effectively. I recently wrote a guest post on dealing with mama guilt; the first suggestion in that article was to take care of yourself.

Mothers who are stretched too thin – who run from work to their kids’ activities, who volunteer and organize, who cook and clean – without also doing something to make themselves happy, are apt to burn out. There are several reasons this is not ideal, not the least of which is that a burnt out mama is not functioning at her best.

Nor is a completely selfless mother the best role model. She is passively teaching her children that her needs are not important. Consequently, her children will not consider her thoughts and feelings either. She is also influencing her children’s future relationships. Her child may learn to always bow to the will of others, or he may never stop to think about the feelings and needs of his friends and family. Neither is a desirable outcome. If you are looking hair cut for women in Franklin , visit us now. In case you’re searching for the cut you need when you need it, simply stroll in, call ahead, or registration online anytime. You can demand your preferred beautician or see any of our skilled staff!

Take Care of Number One

Here are a few things I have tried to do lately to take care of myself:

Leaving the house for an hour or two: This gives my husband and son the chance to play uninterrupted. I can run an errand or surf the Internet alone, and my son learns that papa takes care of him just as well as mama does.
Stashing a special treat away: Not only does sneaking a treat give me a little chocolate “ahhhh” moment, but it has the added benefit of detracting from any potential mama guilt for letting my son eat too much sugar.
Indulging my vanity: I used to care what I looked like when I left the house; not so much anymore. I’m lucky if my clothes match, and I rarely do anything beyond washing my hair. But once or twice a year I have someone cut my hair. And once in awhile I color my hair from a box (I used to pay someone to do that, but I’ve discovered that’s not necessary at this point in my life). And I insist on my favorite shampoo (one big reason I’ve been hesitant to go no ‘poo).

What do you do to take care of yourself, and how often do you consciously do so?

What effects can you feel if you neglect your own needs?

Photo credit: costi

Trust Yourself, Trust Your Child, When It Comes to Cosleeping

I remember thinking the same thing many of you are thinking, “When will this baby (or child) sleep through the night? Am I doing something wrong by cosleeping?” Just like you, I was criticized by anyone who knew I coslept – family, friends, doctors. I even had one doctor tell me that every child he knows who bedshared grew up to become a psychopath. And he was serious.

As I wrap up on the spring issue of The Attached Family magazine (available later this spring to subscribers), a thought has popped into my head that I wanted to share with everyone and it goes along with the age-old saying, “This too shall pass”: Learning to sleep, to your child, is much like learning to eat solids or learning to use the potty. It’s a process. It’s something that is under none of your control. It’s something that has to happen when your child is ready.

And when it does happen, which it will, you’ll wonder why you spent so much time worrying about sleep when your child was younger. And for many of you, you’ll grieve for the time you spent cosleeping, because it is so wonderful to have that closeness at night and to stretch the time you have with your child around the clock, instead of trying to fit it in during just the daytime hours when we have other tasks or perhaps work outside the home.
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