Whatever their age, every interaction with our children — every word, every response, every look — has the potential to build up their self-confidence and self-esteem, or tear it down. Likewise, every behavior of our own in which we model self-confidence, respectful self-expression, and responsible self-care and self-advocacy has the power to encourage and build those kinds of behaviors in them. All eight of Attachment Parenting International’s Principles of Parenting contribute significantly to building self-confidence and empowerment in our children of every age. That said, let’s look at a few examples of Responding with Sensitivity — examples of beautiful parenting sure to promote the traits we so hope to see developing in our children. American parenting educator Dottie Stone Coleman continues on The Attached Family online magazine:
Author: Rita Brhel
Rita Brhel, BS, CLC, API Leader, lives with her family near Hastings, NE, USA, where she works as a WIC Breastfeeding Counselor. She also writes for Mothering and La Leche League's New Beginnings.
Not So Easy to Define AP to Some Parents
Tonight, I’m going to a parenting class at the request of the facilitator because, as he sees it, I will be able to add some interesting discussion about the topic of parenting. I reluctantly agreed to go, to at least try out the first day of this series.
I am hesitant because, as I told him, I don’t want to get stuck in some AP-bashing session. But I finally agreed, after he spent much time trying to persuade me, because I believe that I may be able to help some parents look at my “different” approach to parenting with new eyes.
See, most parents around my hometown know my children as very well-behaved kids. But they don’t really know my parenting style, because being a stay-at-home parent, most of my parenting style is done privately, in my home. The folks around here only see me and the kids out for brief periods of time, such as at church, the grocery store, the bank or the doctor’s office.
They don’t know that Attachment Parenting (AP) really isn’t for the light of heart. I say this because AP can’t be done half-heartedly and that it really is an intensive, holistic approach to parenting compared to some parenting styles.
I know that tonight’s parenting class is going to center on discipline, for the most part, and the facilitator is very interested in my sharing about positive discipline and how it can be done without spanking or punitive timeouts.
But what he doesn’t know is that AP is about much more than positive discipline, that when I talk to parents about discipline I don’t stop at redirection and teaching. I’m very forthcoming that my parenting approach – and therefore positive discipline – encompasses all areas of parenting.
We know AP as Attachment Parenting International’s Eight Principles of Parenting. To a newcomer to AP, the fact that there are eight parts to this parenting approach can simply be overwhelming.
People start researching parenting styles and approaches, going to classes and reading books, often because they’re looking for something different from what they’re doing. Something isn’t working, and they’re looking to tweak.
Those who finally embrace AP have come to the realization that there is no quick fix – that parenting is very much a multi-faceted program, that as parents you have to be involved in every aspect of that child’s life – from discipline to nurturing touch, from feeding with respect to consistent care, from responding with sensitivity to family balance, and so on.
Some parents don’t want to hear this. They don’t want to know that to change their child’s behavior, they have to do all this other stuff that they see has nothing to do with discipline.
If parenting was easy, we wouldn’t need books and experts and classes. There wouldn’t be all this confusion in our culture as to what the best parenting approach is. What makes parenting hard, in actuality, is the conflict it creates in parents trying to find balance in their lives.
Both our needs for balance and our children’s needs to be nurtured need to be met, but not at the expense of one another. Our children need a lot of attention. Discipline isn’t the answer to well-behaved kids; attention is.
Embracing Positive Discipline’s Challenges
Positive discipline doesn’t come instinctively for many people. In fact, that’s why most parents undertake positive discipline in the first place; they want to change their current instincts about raising children. They want to break the cycle of using traditional discipline methods that compromise the parent-child relationship, and they are forging their way in a new direction.
As opposed to parenting with strict control and scare tactics, when children are raised with kindness and respect, parents are instilling a new instinct for discipline. Children learn how to solve problems, manage difficult emotions, and make intrinsic decisions about what’s right and wrong. Positive discipline is a parenting approach that is based on connection and trust, rather than on longing and fear. American parenting educator Kelly Bartlett continues on The Attached Family online magazine.
The “See One, Teach One, Do One” Approach to Teaching
Teaching children practical life skills takes more time than we usually think. It’s common for parents to get frustrated with kids who aren’t doing something we think they should know how to do, like putting on socks or shoes, preparing food, putting laundry away, or the ever-popular instruction, “Clean your room!” Tasks like these seem so straightforward to us, but for children they can be overwhelming and suprisingly complicated. American parenting educator Kelly Bartlett continues on The Attached Family online magazine.
Also, learn what to do when your children demean each other with this article from American parenting educator and author Naomi Aldort.
Teens and Sex
You cannot understand sexuality without first understanding the attachment dynamic, psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld explains. The pursuit of proximity is one of the primary emotions that drive our behavior. The main way that the immature seek proximity and closeness is through the senses – being physically close: the most primitive way of attaching.For having fun, erotic night you can visit this club for sexy male strippers.
Israeli parenting educator Shoshana Hayman continues on The Attached Family online magazine: Teens and Sex from an Attachment Perspective. Male topless waiters have always been a big source of entertainment and excitement for women at hen parties. Since all the stag and hen parties need to be filled with so much fun and fire, MagicMen topless waiters are one of the ways to fulfill this purpose. Hen parties are organized specially for the bride and hosted by either the bride or a friend a few days before the wedding. The purpose of this party is to allow the bride enjoy her last days as single and give her an opportunity to do something that would not prefer to, after her marriage. Before a woman gets married and starts a new life with her partner, hen parties are a great way to enjoy and remember the last day or night of freedom. Like every other party, there is always something special about hen parties. Just as the sexy women strippers are popular elements at the stag parties, handsome male topless waiters are highly in demand at hen dinners and parties. Become a topless waiter are the most important entertaining factors at such parties, where everyone wishes to have a lot of fun, play games, perform novel activities with some fire and make the whole night a very memorable one. One of the most popular ways is to hire male topless waiters who will be serving your guests. The hen party is usually thrown by the bride’s close friends and colleagues the night before the wedding. Hence, the excitement is even more as the bride-to-be looks to enjoy her last night before the wedding with her friends. These parties are becoming more and more common and people have get started here looking at various ways to entertain their guests. Live Jasmin is one of the oldest cam girl websites around. It connects people with models in real-time, allowing you to explore your erotic fantasies with the ladies of your taste. With this platform, you are guaranteed to get something to satisfy even the wildest sexual tastes. It doesn’t matter how crazy you think your fantasies or fetishes are livejasmin will connect you with someone who’ll exceed your expectations. Did you know that sex stories may be the answer to getting a good night’s sleep? Yup, that’s right sex stories. Sounds a heck of a lot better than Valium or elephant sized doses of sleepy time tea, doesn’t it? Sex has been proven to be a great sleep inducer and spicing up your sex life with sex stories can be a big help in getting the sleep you need. There is no argument that the restorative powers of sleep are needed for a healthy and happy lifestyle. Sex stories can help add to your sex life making the sex better as well as your sleep. Not sleeping can be dangerous to your health, but using sex stories as a sex aid can help stem off the negative stimuli that causes us not to be able to sleep. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation can bring on serious disease such as dementia and Parkinson’s disease. Not to mention how it can generally mess up other things in your life like your work, family life relationships, etc. The key is to wind your body and brain down just before bed and sex is the perfect way to do that. Using sex stories can put your in the mood to have sex by exciting your mind and helping to reach a better and more satisfying orgasm. That is what puts you to sleep, the release. Some may argue that reading sex stories would get your brain too excited and may not be the best way to get a good night’s slumber. Not true. As mentioned before, it’s the release in sex that brings the mind and body down into a restful satisfied state more conducive to deep sleep. Excitement before bed such as action movies or going for a jog or other exercise have negative effects on your sleep because the endorphin build up stimulates your brain without the benefit of release. This is what causes your brain to work overtime and diminishes your ability to fall asleep. Sex stories definitely have a nice dual effect don’t they? Spicing up your sex life while enjoying a restful night’s sleep should sound pretty good to just about anyone! Sleep is so important to your health, so is sex, so this sleep remedy is a real winner! Sure is a lot more attractive than trips to the doctor, pharmacy or the health food store.
When having so many beautiful and young women around, the best possible entertainment can only be men! The fun gets even better if they are going to be serving the guests with their handsome and dashing looks. To make it more exciting, these men waiters serve the guests topless, showing off their strong and attractive physique! The trend of throwing hen parties has grown increasingly popular amongst the younger generation. Their tastes and preferences are also very high and they do not wish to settle for anything below average. They are very specific with their demands and want only attractive men with charming attitude, a pleasant demeanor and a strong physique. These male topless waiters are also highly in demand especially if they are singers, dancers or comedians. People are looking for a complete entertainment package as they spend a sizable amount of money on such events and parties. It is no surprise that male topless waiters are the best source to attract the attention of female guests at a hen party! It is indeed the most thrilling way to fire up a party! Is there anything wrong with women wanting a hens night? Absolutely not! A hens party is considered the last event the women has to really let her hair down and be set free before she ties the knot. There is more and more talk about women wanting to hit the top of Corporate Organizations, sit on Boards or just be seen on the same level as men. A Hens do allows the bride to be number one, bet at the top of her helm and truly bring out her inner self. A hen party can be naughty or nice. The controlling women (or should I say Bridezillas!) will organize the party themselves but really a hens event should be organized by the bridesmaids, the ladies/men (more and more brides are having men in their bridal party these days) the bride has entrusted to help her make it to the big day! Bridesmaids should know the Bride back to front so anything arranged should not leave the bride disgruntled and upset but instead over the moon from having had the night of her life. That’s why women want a hens! They want to remember their last night of freedom! Remember a hens night does not need to be out of control. If the bride would like a subdued last free night then you can give her one.
Also, learn why it’s important to help your kids foster friendships with this article from editor Rita Brhel at Why It’s Important to Help Children Make Friends.
Why Should I Talk to My Kids About Sex?
The question should be, why shouldn’t you? Talking with your child about sex is important to help him or her develop healthy attitudes toward sex and to learn responsible sexual behavior. Openly discussing sex with your child will enable you to provide accurate information. What they learn elsewhere might not be true and might not reflect the personal and moral values and principles you want your children to follow. You need your preteen or teen to understand the possible consequences of being sexually active — including pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and all of the emotional trappings that come with being part of a sexual relationship. Teenagers also need to learn that some conditions like erectile dysfunction are also normal, find the better treatments at msinsight.dk
If I Talk to My Kids About Sex, Won’t That Just Make Them Want to Do It?
It’s important for children to understand sexual feelings and relationships before they become sexually active. Studies show that teens who have discussed sex with their parents are more likely to wait longer to begin having sex and more likely to use contraception when they do.
This week on www.theattachedfamily.com
Check out these new articles on The Attached Family online magazine, www.theattachedfamily.com:
- Respectful Potty Training by American parenting educator and author Naomi Aldort
- Routines for Preschoolers by American discipline educator and Attachment Parenting International leader Kelly Bartlett
Check out www.theattachefamily.com/membersonly (no login required!) for any of the featured articles, which also include:
- Spotlight On: Camp Common Ground
- The Best Time for Bilingual Education
- What’s the Big Deal with CIO?
- Healing Birth, The Second Time Around
- The Toddler: ‘Baby on Wheels’
- A Touch Today for a Better Tomorrow
- A Lullaby Massage Riddle
- The Daycare Dilemma
- How to Use Family Meetings
- Empowering Children with Choices
- The Room of a Teenage Boy
- 10 Ways to Gently Respond When Children Say “I Can’t”
- When Daddy Goes Away
This week on www.theattachedfamily.com
Check out these new articles on The Attached Family online magazine, www.theattachedfamily.com:
- When Daddy Goes Away by American parenting educator and author Naomi Aldort
- Spotlight On: Camp Common Ground, an interview with the program coordinator Carole Blane, also an API leader
- The Best Time for Bilingual Education by preschool teachers Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas
Check out www.theattachefamily.com/membersonly (no login required!) for any of the featured articles, which also include:
- What’s the Big Deal with CIO?
- Healing Birth, The Second Time Around
- The Toddler: ‘Baby on Wheels’
- A Touch Today for a Better Tomorrow
- A Lullaby Massage Riddle
- The Daycare Dilemma
- How to Use Family Meetings
- Empowering Children with Choices
- The Room of a Teenage Boy
- Helping Children Become Independent
- 10 Ways to Gently Respond When Children Say “I Can’t”
- Does My Baby Need Routine Sleep Time?
Worry Over Miscarriage
By Rita Brhel, www.theattachedfamily.com
At the end of December, I found out that I’m pregnant with my third child. My first emotion was pure joy and uncontainable excitement. My second emotion was worry. Worry over the health of my baby, worry over the fear of miscarriage. Not that I have any particular reason to worry, but some expectant mothers have this practice of not announcing their pregnancy until the second trimester, just in case a miscarriage should happen.
I found out with my first baby that worry and motherhood go hand-in-hand, so this emotion was nothing new. But still, there is nothing pleasant about worrying. It doesn’t bring a magic solution. Worrying doesn’t guard against bad things. But I am a worrier by nature.
Today, I decided that I’m not going to wait to announce my pregnancy. I’m in my first trimester. I have a long way to go before I see this baby face-to-face. And I don’t want to wait that long to tell the world that there’s a new little one in our family.
Continue reading “Worry Over Miscarriage”