API Blog – Page 22

It Takes a Village

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published April 20, 2008, but its immortal message continues to ring true today, more so than ever in this ever-increasing Internet Age.

We’ve all heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child,” and it is still true, even in these modern days of computers, mobile phones, dial-a-pizza and TV on demand. In fact, I would say now, more than ever, we all need our little village.

Before our daughter was born, I never really thought much about how isolated our lives had become. After her arrival, I started to actively seek out a village for her. We moved closer to my parents and sisters, back to the town I grew up in. I started going to mother-and-baby groups, La Leche League meetings and other breastfeeding support groups, sling-meets, anything really where babies were, hoping to find like-minded mothers who shared our way of parenting.

And I started to realize that the village is needed, not so much for the little baby, but to support the parents–to help and nurture them. In doing so, the parents can be free and feel confident raising their little baby, learning about all her little quirks and celebrating this new little life.

I began to realize that a village doesn’t have to be a physical location. I tentatively began to wander around online forums and entered the wonderful world of blogging. I’m a computer programmer by trade. Before I started on my parenting path, the Internet had always been a work tool, a research or holiday planning guide. Now I began to see a different aspect to it.

Very quickly, I found like-minded people, mothers who breastfed past six months, parents who coslept, fathers who were wholeheartedly involved in parenting, parents who believed in gentle discipline and, best of all, parents who admitted that, yes, their babies didn’t sleep through the night and that it was okay, they would in their own time. I found a name for our parenting beliefs: Attachment Parenting.

And I made friends.

I hadn’t really believed that you could make friends online before this. But you can, and you often share a lot more with these friends than with the person who lives next door to you. So with these discoveries my online, worldwide village began to grow. It has been a huge support for me.

I know when I’m lying awake feeding my teething daughter for the 10th time during the night in the middle of winter, that my friend in Australia is awake playing with her daughter in a beautiful summer’s day. At the same time, my friend in England is probably also awake, feeding her daughter as she is also teething at the moment. Maybe the women I know in America are only getting ready to go to bed now and are nursing their children to sleep or reading just one more story. Or it might be bathtime or dinnertime. But it is good to know that we’re all there, busy parenting our little ones as they go about the busy business of growing up.

Locally I have met many wonderful mothers and fathers, many of whom do not share my parenting approach. Some are still breastfeeding; some react with amusement when they see my 17 month old nursing. Some cosleep; most do not. Many have sleep-trained their babies; most react with shock when I mention that my daughter doesn’t sleep through the night. Several of them practice gentle discipline; many do not. Many gasp when they see me carrying my daughter in a sling; some happily show me their own slings! But each of them has a child whom they love, and this love brings us all together into a little village so that our children will have friends and so that we can sit down with a cup of tea and chat aimlessly for a while as the children play.

Both my real-life village and my online global village are very important to me. They both nurture and support me, in very different ways. I sought out my online village as I needed to connect with other people with similar parenting beliefs. I sought out my local village so that my daughter would have a community. And I have made friends in both villages, both with people I have everything in common with and with people I have almost nothing in common with!

While my daughter reaps the benefits of our real-life village, playing joyfully with all her friends, and I enjoy a nice cup of tea and a chat, I am also happy in the knowledge that if I need advice–or a moan–I can go to my online community and get help, real help, where the other parents understand why we parent the way we do, how it can have its difficulties, but also how it can be full of joy! It feels good to know that there are other people who feel the same way you do, who are raising their children in a similar way, who are creating secure and compassionate families. It is great to be able to ask for help and have other people give you advice that comes from the same parenting beliefs. Attachment Parenting International’s many online resources are opportunities for us all to add a few new friends to our global online villages.

Looking to connect with more AP-minded parents? Read more than six years’ worth of parents’ stories here on APtly Said, begin sharing in the API Neighborhood or start following discussions on API Reads, for starters. And don’t forget to check out if there’s a local API Support Group near you–to add to your real-life AP village.

– Half Pint Pixie

Hold on to Your Kids

By Lysa Parker, cofounder of Attachment Parenting International and coauthor of Attached at the Heart

For me, Attachment Parenting (AP) has been like a life preserver in a cultural sea that is constantly in turbulence and posing many dangers.

While AP provides us with tools for holding on to your kids, once they enter the world at large you hope your children will stay connected, but we’ve found it continues to take effort on our part as parents. The bottom line is that all relationships take work — even with our spouses.

At every stage of our children’s lives, we hoped that we just could relax and enjoy the fruits of all the efforts we put into them in their early years, only to find out that the relaxing part comes in spurts.

Of course their successes, joys and triumphs become yours as well, but it can be so hard to watch them find their way in this world. Their struggles and pain become your struggles and pain. You know they have to go through the realities of life; they have to learn through their own experiences and decisions.

I wish we could just turn off our emotions and brush our hands and say, “We did our job as parents and now it’s up to them,” but you can’t — not when you are connected. As children grow into their teens and even adulthood, it takes a conscious effort to keep that connection…everyday!

There are so many temptations in our world, so many “wolves” just waiting to attack the hearts and minds of our children. We not only have to build their strength and confidence to face these challenges, but we have to do it for ourselves so that we can be there when they need us and be strong. That’s where having a strong AP community as your extended family can be a safety net.

Attachment Parenting International cofounder and Attached at the Heart coauthor Barbara Nicholson and I often talk about our sons, how we’ve raised sensitive young men who are creative and very independent. While these are wonderful qualities, some of our children are finding it very difficult to find their place in this world and it’s taking a lot longer than we thought. We have no doubt that they will, but it’s not as easy as it seems for others.

We can’t help ourselves from wondering, worrying about them finding the right person to share their life, to bear their children. Will they choose AP as their path or go the opposite way? Will they stay close to our family? Will they all be healthy and happy?

My husband will half-jokingly say that when he turned 18, his parents ran away from home. Our parents’ and grandparents’ generation thinks it is very odd for a child over the age of 18 to live at home. But more importantly, our high-touch, sensitive children require close connections at home to help them maintain their stability.

I recently listened to an interview with Dr. Robert Epstein who said, in reference to the turmoil and troubles many teens and young adults are having in our Western culture: “Any culture that severs the connection between young people and older people creates this problem.” He went on to say that no other teens in the world experience the problems with drug abuse and suicide like we see.

The point I want to make is that while we may make great improvements in our parenting from previous generations, the AP way of life will not always protect our children or prevent them from making mistakes in judgment. If there are generations of abuse or addictions in your family, changing that course will likely take more than one generation. Still, we can affirm to ourselves that we are on the right path to breaking the cycles of dysfunction that so many families have endured for generations.

Our job as parents is to maintain our connection to our children, to be there when they fall, to be their rock and their compass and bring them back home to a circle of security that will refresh and strengthen their hearts. Attachment Parenting gives us the strength, the wisdom and support to do just that.

A Family Friendly Video Game That Anyone Will Love

Onе оf thе favorite games fоr thе kids is Fotrnite, and it comes with a free fortnite skin if you sing up using a social media account. It іѕ great fоr аll thе sport lovers аnd game lovers іn thе world. It аll began years ago wіth Pac Mаn, Mario Brothers аnd thе list goes оn аnd оn. Thе game world hаѕ соmе a lоng wау ѕіnсе thе days оf Pac Mаn аnd Mѕ. Pac Mаn. Thеrе аrе adventure games, sports, racing, karate оr ninjas, аnd mаnу mоrе. Thеrе аrе games tо рlеаѕе еvеrуоnе.

Today’s games аrе looking mоrе like reality thаn еvеr bеfоrе. Mario Power Tennis іѕ hоwеvеr just a game fоr fun ѕо thеу аrе ѕtіll mоrе like thе basic Marios. Sоmе people like thе reality games but thеу аrе аlѕо scary whеn іt соmеѕ tо уоur kids knowing hоw tо distinguish thе difference bеtwееn a game аnd reality. Muсh like ѕоmе television shows аnd movies, thеrе аrе ѕоmе games thаt children ѕhоuld nоt bе able tо play.

Sоmе оf thе games саn mess uр a child’s mind. Parents ѕhоuld control whаt games thеіr children play. Mario Power Tennis fоr Game Cube wоuld bе a fun аnd safe game fоr thеm tо play. Thе characters аrе fun аnd vеrу distinguishable frоm reality.

Sоmе оf thе mоrе reality killing games аrе hard tо deal wіth bесаuѕе thеу еvеn look real like adults. Thеrе іѕ еnоugh killing аnd crimes wіthоut playing thе games аnd killing оthеrѕ. Wе аrе аt wаr аnd killing іѕ a reality ѕо wе dо nоt need games wіth people killing оthеr people іn thеm. It isn’t near аѕ bad іf wе аrе slaying a dragon. Thе games today аrе ѕо realistic, thеу include blood аnd еvеrуthіng tо make іt look like іt happened right оn thе street. The advantage of these games is the game have more excitement and fun, not only these games have escape from tarkov cheats with the latest emerge of technology.

Thеrе аrе mаnу testimonials оf game players whо аrе vеrу pleased wіth thе Mario Power Tennis game аnd claim thаt іt іѕ a lot оf fun аnd vеrу uр tо date іn thеіr maneuvers аnd plays. Thе power shots like thе slice, topspin, drop, flat, аnd lob аrе аll included, аnd different positions аrе аn added plus tо thе game аѕ compared tо thе basic game.

Thе game іѕ exciting tо play іf уоu аrе a tennis player аnd еvеn іf уоu aren’t. Thе game саn bе great fun especially wіth multi players. But fоr thе single players, thеу саn ѕtіll challenge Mario, Luigi, Peach, аnd thе gang. Mario Power Tennis mау just bе thе favored tennis game оf аll tіmе. Sоmе mау nоt agree аbоut Mario games аnd оthеr nоt ѕо realistic games but thеу аrе ѕоmе recommended games fоr children аnd adults whо dо nоt want tо ѕее аll оf thе blood аnd hear аll оf thе foul language.

API Reads: Parenting from the Inside Out starting this month

The API Reads program is winding down a discussion of Attached at the Heart (2nd edition) by Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker. Join in on the last of the topics being discussed online at GoodReads:

Principle 8: Strive for Balance in Your Personal and Family Life – Peace Within Creates Peace at Home
Chapter 10: Nurturing Children for a Compassionate World

On August 17, API Reads will begin a discussion of Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel. Read the Introduction and Chapters 1 and 2 to get started.

Then, in September, API Reads is launching a new and exciting opportunity: Participants will have the opportunity to read and discuss a book focused on the younger child (birth to preschool) and/or a second book focused on the older child (school-age and above). The books are to be read simultaneously, and parents can choose to participate in either or both book discussions. This will allow you to focus on the book that seems of the most interest to you at the time. We are truly excited about this new offering and hope you will be, too. Come check out API Reads on GoodReads to see what books are in the queue so far!

A program of Attachment Parenting International, API Reads is free to join so don’t hesitate to join in the conversation. We read a chapter a week. Even if you’re unable to get through the chapter, you may find you’ll still be able to participate in the conversation. So come join the other 400+ members who are already part of the conversation!

World Breastfeeding Week 2014: Parent Support Deserts in the USA

By Rita Brhel, Editor of Attached Family magazine, API’s Publications Coordinator

What this year’s celebration of World Breastfeeding Week is really about—more than updating the status on breastfeeding acceptance or increasing understanding for mothers who are unable to breastfeed—is advocacy for parent support.

While the primary goal of Attachment Parenting International (API) is to raise awareness of the importance of a secure parent-child attachment, the organization’s overarching strategy is to provide research-backed information in an environment of respect, empathy and compassion in order to support parents in making decisions for their families and to create support environments in their communities. API extends beyond attachment education, also promoting the best practices in all aspects of parenting from pregnancy and childbirth to infant feeding and nurturing touch to sleep and discipline to personal balance and self-improvement through such innovative programs as API Support Groups, the API Reads book club and the Journal of Attachment Parenting, just to name a few.

API is a parent support organization made up of parents located around the world with a deep desire to support other parents.

In this spirit, API created the Parent Support Deserts project through which we mapped gaps in local parent support opportunities specific to Attachment Parenting (AP). The goals of this multi-layered project are to identify communities, regions and nations in need of conscious-minded parent support and to encourage collaboration among like-minded organizations to address these gaps.

As research pours in on the benefits of breast milk and breastfeeding, evidence continues to point toward AP practices, such as using fewer interventions during childbirth, avoiding early mother-baby separation, rooming-in at the hospital, breastfeeding on demand, interpreting pre-cry hunger signals, encouraging skin-to-skin contact, room sharing, discouraging cry-it-out sleep training, helping the father in supporting the mother, and others. As a result, the vast support network that many communities now have for breastfeeding mothers—from a breastfeeding-friendly medical community to lactation consultants and peer counselors to doulas and childbirth educators and parent educators trained in lactation support—tend to direct breastfeeding mothers toward Attachment Parenting.

Local parent support for breastfeeding has grown at an astonishing rate since La Leche League (LLL) International was founded in Illinois, USA, in 1956. LLL groups are located worldwide in nearly all developed nations as well as other less-developed countries. LLL has expanded its resources as cultures have evolved with technology and the changing roles for mothers, assisting mothers in providing breast milk to their infants whether through exclusive or partial breastfeeding or pumping as needed.

By contrast, there are few organized AP-minded support opportunities for mothers who are unable to or choose not to breastfeed or feed expressed breast milk. Formula-feeding parents are relatively on their own in terms of finding support that rightly points them in the direction of Attachment Parenting, as this choice or necessity to bottle-feed exclusively is seen less as part of the relationship context and more solely a nutritive option—though certainly we know, and research in sensitive responsiveness is finding, the behaviors surrounding bottle feeding are as much a part of the parent-child relationship as is breastfeeding. Unlike breastfeeding support, formula-feeding support is much less cohesive, with some information sources putting forth questionable science regarding formula versus breastfeeding benefits.

For this introductory look at the Parent Support Deserts project, we examined locations of parent support groups in terms of infant-feeding in the Attachment Parenting context. We focused on LLL for breastfeeding support and API for both breastfeeding and formula-feeding support. While this list is in flux, click here to see state reports of API’s Parent Support Deserts specific to Attachment Parenting infant-feeding support in the United States as spring 2014, as well as read more details about the Parent Support Deserts project. You can find this article in the latest issue of Attached Family magazine.

World Breastfeeding Week 2014: Learning to Listen

By Sara Jones Rust

My husband gently bounced our wailing 3-week-old son while pacing around our apartment. I quickly finished toweling off, ran a comb through my wet hair and threw on a comfy pair of post-baby pants and a T-shirt. Luckily I had the forethought to brush my teeth while in the shower, a time saver I had picked up over the last few weeks. I jumped into the corner of the couch that had recently become imprinted with my shape and adjusted the nursing pillow.

“Okay, ready,” I said, refreshed from my shower and the savored last few moments without a child attached to me. Beckett screamed. His face was red with insistence that he was not pleased. His little arms, still the purplish hue of newborn skin, flailed around seemingly out of his control. My husband handed our extremely loud, squirming, 7-pound bundle to me with a look that said he was sorry he wasn’t able to keep him asleep any longer. It had only been 40 minutes since our last nursing session. I cradled Beckett in my arm, positioned him and quiet fell. He latched on and began sucking furiously. His wide eyes locked with mine in an intense stare, letting me know that milk was required now and anything less would not be tolerated. After all, I had let him down before. Then after a few moments, his gaze softened and his eyelids fluttered with the pleasure of warm milk.

Immediately after Beckett’s very fast birth—I dilated completely and delivered him in less than three hours—I had a postnatal hemorrhage. I passed out, and the midwife stopped the bleeding, but it scared my husband. I had to take some iron pills during my hospital stay, but other than that, it was fairly glanced over. Hours later, I felt good so I didn’t think to ask any questions.

Beckett was perfect: He barely cried, and I fed him every three hours per the nurse’s recommendation. He had some trouble latching on at first but caught on in the first 24 hours. My new little family, drunk with happiness, basked in the quiet timelessness that the hospital provides in those first days before we headed home, when the realities of having a newborn smacked us sober.

Before we were released from the hospital, the staff ran down a typical checklist. Beckett was small—just over 6 pounds at birth—and he’d lost weight and became jaundiced because my milk had yet to come in. This was typical, we were told. They discharged us, but we had to return the next day for a bilirubin test to see if his jaundice was gone.

That first night home was a shock. Beckett cried and continued to cry—all night. We changed, we burped, we bounced, we danced, we swung, we patted, we shushed and eventually we cried, too. The only thing that stopped him from crying was nursing, which I was doing every two to three hours, as the nurses told me to.

When he was four days old, he was still jaundiced and was now spending a good amount of time in a light box, which looks like a baby-sized tanning bed, to help his body get rid of the bilirubin that was causing jaundice. He’d only gained an ounce or two, and my milk still hadn’t come in.

I had been determined to breastfeed, and I was beginning to think it wasn’t going to happen. Beckett’s pediatrician was putting quite a bit of pressure on us to supplement with formula. I felt so helpless. I sobbed as I put the bottle in his mouth. He pushed it out a few times but eventually accepted it and sucked down the entire few ounces in a matter of minutes. I was worried he would stop nursing, that he would prefer the formula to my milk … if it ever came in. I felt I was letting him down.

But Beckett stuck with me, kicking and screaming, as it were. We kept up our nursing schedule. I had an app on my phone that alerted me every two hours. Finally, on the fifth day, my milk came in. Nothing could have made me happier. We ditched the formula, Beckett ditched the jaundice, and I took pride in and felt thankful that I was able to nourish my child the way I had planned—the way I felt was best for us.

I found out much later, in speaking with a lactation consultant, that the postnatal hemorrhage was most likely the cause for my stunted lactation. I’m not sure if I would have done anything differently, but it certainly would have alleviated some of my feelings of failure and guilt if I had known this.

Beckett began to pack on the ounces, but still his crying persisted. He would only sleep if he was being held. We counted the minutes until another feeding, because it was the only time he didn’t cry. Inevitably after he nursed, he’d fall asleep and we’d have a few moments of peace before he awoke, mid-scream, and we’d start counting down the minutes to feeding time again.

After two weeks of little sleep, we were at a pediatrician appointment when I had a moment that changed everything for us. Beckett was fit as a fiddle, but the doctor still wasn’t thrilled with his weight gain. It was good but not great. The doctor thought the crying might be colic and described it as unstoppable crying. To which I replied, “He stops when he’s nursing.”

“Hungry guy,” she said. Right at that moment, everything clicked. He’s just hungry! I couldn’t believe I had been so rigid in our feeding schedule. I immediately stopped thinking about schedules and instructions and just began to listen to my heart, the mom instinct that, like my milk supply, seemed also to be a little stunted. From then on, I nursed him whenever he was inconsolable. It ended up being a lot. I wondered if it was possible to nurse a baby too much. But I continued to let my gut overrule my paranoia.

Once I learned to listen to my son and to myself, things began to fall into place. At our following pediatrician visits, we were told that he was thriving and to keep doing whatever we were doing. It didn’t solve all of our problems by any means, but it began a practice of listening in our house that has served us well and, I am confident, will continue to.

You can read more in the double "Voices of Breastfeeding" issue of Attached Family magazine, in which we take a look at the cultural explosion of breastfeeding advocacy as well as the challenges still to overcome in supporting new parents with infant feeding. The magazine is free to API members--and membership in API is free! Visit www.attachmentparenting.org to access your free issue or join API. — You can read more in the double “Voices of Breastfeeding” issue of Attached Family magazine, in which we take a look at the cultural explosion of breastfeeding advocacy as well as the challenges still to overcome in supporting new parents with infant feeding. The magazine is free to API members–and membership in API is free! Visit www.attachmentparenting.org to access your free issue or join API.

World Breastfeeding Week 2014: Sometimes Breastfeeding Requires a Bottle

By Rita Brhel, WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor, API Leader, API’s Publications Coordinator/Managing Editor

Among the wonderful aspects of Attachment Parenting is that it is an approach to child rearing that every parent can take part in. Certainly, research supports some parenting techniques more than others. Breastfeeding, for example, is quoted in Attached at the Heart by Attachment Parenting International cofounders Lysa Parker and Barbara Nicholson as “the model of attachment,” and by reading an overview of the research, it certainly is.

But there is an alternative for parents who are unable to breastfeed. Not breastfeeding doesn’t exclude you from the benefits of Attachment Parenting, in particular feeding your baby with love and respect.

Each of my three children has taken a bottle as part of their full-time feeding strategy. Not every mother can breastfeed or breastfeed exclusively. There are plenty of breastfeeding advocates who will tell you otherwise, but as with just about everything in this life, there are exceptions to the mantra, “If you just tried harder … ”

My oldest child was born 10 weeks early. Babies born this early don’t generally yet have the ability to time their suck-swallow-breathe reflexes and must be fed by tube. Eventually they transition from the nasogastric tube to a bottle, as it’s much easier for some babies to get milk out of a bottle than the breast. My daughter required the easiest-flow nipples—and even then, we were enlarging the nipple hole with a safety pin. I pumped my breast milk, and every ounce had to be fortified with special nutrition to help her grow and medication for her many medical conditions. She never breastfed. She was bottle-nursed with expressed milk for six months and then with formula until she was a year old.

My second born was taken by Cesarean section two weeks early. I was anemic prior to the surgery and then hemorrhaged on the table. My doctor was concerned about a recent outbreak of hepatitis and persuaded me to not get a blood transfusion, even though I lost enough blood that it took six months of taking iron pills to get my blood iron level back to the normal range. I was so anemic that I would fall asleep part way through lunch and wake up two hours later to finish the plate, only to take another nap immediately afterward. I just plain didn’t have enough energy to keep up with the demands of breastfeeding exclusively. So my second daughter was supplemented with one to two bottles of formula a day. I was able to mostly breastfeed, with some formula, for nine months, and then bottle-nursed with all formula until her first birthday.

With my third baby, I was determined to breastfeed. I spent four years learning all I could about how to have a healthy pregnancy, natural childbirth and successful breastfeeding experience. And I was very healthy going into the birth, had a wonderful natural VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) with no complications and started off my first exclusive-breastfeeding relationship.

Well, he is my first baby to receive only breastmilk, but he was not exclusively breastfed. Three weeks after my son was born, I developed mastitis and a breast abscess in the inverted nipple on my left side, and the subsequent procedure and antibiotics caused a yeast infection. As it turned out, I am allergic or resistant to every breastfeeding-safe antifungal available, medical or natural. In order to protect the right breast that remained yeast free, I only breastfed from the right breast, while exclusively pumping the left side and giving that milk to my baby through the bottle. This meant that I was pumping six times a day for the first six months in addition to breastfeeding, gradually reducing the number of times I pumped as I introduced solids. I did this pumping and breastfeeding routine for one year, before allowing the left breast to dry up. My son is now 2 years old, and I continue to breastfeed from the one side.

I would not choose bottle feeding if I had the option. I love breastfeeding. Bottle nursing is not the same as breastfeeding; it will not satisfy a mother’s desire to nurse her baby. But bottle nursing does give a mother an alternative to model the beginnings of attachment, which is designed in breastfeeding. Just as with breastfeeding, bottle nursing is done on demand, in response to the baby’s cues. Touch is supremely important, particularly skin-on-skin contact, as is eye contact and verbal communication. Looking into my life, a person would not see any difference in how I am raising my babies compared to another breastfeeding family, apart from the bottles. I cosleep, hold my babies all the time, respond quickly to their murmurs, don’t believe in any sort of crying-it-out and gently self-wean.

There are challenges to bottle nursing. Bottles, nipples and pump parts have to be washed after every use, and because of yeast issues, I had an additional careful sterilization process. The breast pump had to be remembered for every trip outside the house that might coincide with the pumping schedule, even if it was a trip to the grocery store. If you’re not pumping, you have to find an alternative, such as formula, which is expensive and comes with its own set of challenges, from increased allergy risk to ear infections.

Another challenge I frequently encountered, especially before my babies developed a strong preference for me demonstrated by separation anxiety, was that relatives would assume that since I wasn’t breastfeeding, that I didn’t care that they held the baby all day long and bottle-fed her, when in fact I did care very much. When I voiced my concern, that it’s important for my bonding—or in most cases, when I would simply go to the person and take my baby back—I would receive all sorts of teasing about spoiling my baby or even downright scolding about my selfishness.

It seems that, at least for me, people assume that breastfeeding is only for nutritional sake and that if you’re feeding by bottle, then suddenly mom’s job is reduced to changing dirty diapers. It shows that there is still a need for education about the importance of a secure parent-child attachment and that a mother is indeed much more than a source of milk.

World Breastfeeding Week 2014: Breastfeed Chicago!

By Patricia Mackie, MS, LPC, API Professionals Coordinator

Public breastfeeding can infuriate us, scare us, make us feel ashamed or empower us. For one Chicago mom, it empowered her to take action and create an organization that would focus on advocating for breastfeeding at a larger level in her city (located in Illinois, USA). She wanted not only to help raise awareness of the benefits of breastfeeding but to ensure that mothers feel comfortable feeding wherever and whenever their babies are hungry.

Breastfeed, Chicago! is making changes for Chicago, one mom at a time, through a very talented board of directors that help to put together the group’s advocacy campaigns. I sat down with Katrina Pavlik, the founder of Breastfeed, Chicago!, to find out more about the organization and advice she has for others who want to advocate for breastfeeding in public. We met on a brisk day on the southwest side of Chicago and sat down over some hot coffee to chat about breastfeeding.

PATRICIA: Tell us how Breastfeed, Chicago! came to be.

KATRINA: In 2011, I created a closed Facebook group to invite people to start a conversation about breastfeeding in Chicago. Within six hours, it had grown to 400 people. (As of this writing, the group boasts a membership of 2,287 members, and more people are added daily.)

I saw a need for a community that could discuss how to make Chicago more breastfeeding friendly. From the Facebook group, we expanded and added the Breastfeed, Chicago! blog and resource list.

I wanted to see moms having more of a voice in writing policies.

PATRICIA: Chicago and the surrounding suburbs boast a high number of La Leche League (LLL) and Breastfeeding USA groups. What is different about Breastfeed, Chicago!?

KATRINA: LLL and Breastfeeding USA are so important. They provide breastfeeding support, which is critical for new moms just getting started.

Our organization is about advocacy and policy. We are working to change the view of breastfeeding. We are working on raising awareness, educating the public and advocating for policy changes.

PATRICIA: Tell us about the advocacy efforts Breastfeed, Chicago! is working on.

KATRINA: One of the big projects we are working on is a letter-writing campaign. One of our board members drafted a letter that we send out to businesses. It basically goes over Illinois breastfeeding laws and gives some information about working with breastfeeding moms. We ask that the information be posted in the employees’ space, such as a break room, so all of the employees from the top down are receiving this information. The letter is also available on the Breastfeed, Chicago! resource list so that parents can print it out and send it to any business that they feel would benefit from this information.

We also are working on a sticker campaign. We have printed up Breastfeed, Chicago! window decals that businesses can place on their doors or windows that indicate that this is a breastfeeding-friendly business.

We really want this to be mom-driven, so we have these travelling baby cafes in the summer. We meet in different areas around the city, and moms can get together, have a cup of coffee and chat. It’s an opportunity for us to brainstorm ideas that will help make Chicago more breastfeeding friendly. We take the stickers with us and moms can take a stack and hand them out at their favorite businesses, restaurants, et cetera.

The blog also has an advocacy tool kit that can be downloaded. It includes information on your rights as a breastfeeding mom in public and at work. It has tips for advocating for yourself and your child, questions to ask your pediatrician, tips to make breastfeeding in public more comfortable. It also includes a letter that you can send to your birthing hospital to express your gratitude or disappointment with their approach to breastfeeding. And it includes the window sticker and a letter that accompanies the window stickers, explaining the sticker campaign.

PATRICIA: I noticed you didn’t mention nurse-ins.

KATRINA: Breastfeed, Chicago! has never implemented a nurse-in. We want to circumvent the nurse-in. We want to normalize breastfeeding and implement interventions that will make this normal. Nurse-ins are a tertiary intervention. We are looking at what can we do before that.

When thinking about a nurse-in, there are a few factors we want to think about. One thing I always try to think about is the mom-to-be, the woman who hasn’t had her first baby yet. What message does a nurse-in send to her? [That] this is so abnormal people have to stage protests in order to do it. We want her to get the message: “This is what all my friends are doing. I see it. It’s normal.”

Nurse-ins also serve to embarrass the individuals involved. Similar to the way we raise our children, we don’t want to punish and embarrass people into change. We want to teach them and educate them into changing their behavior.

PATRICIA: What advice would you have for parents in other cities who would like to take on a venture like Breastfeed, Chicago!?

KATRINA: Use social media. Moms are online all day everyday. Moms will come together and build community. Once that community it built, moms will start to share their needs. Make sure you are listening, and when a mom brings up a need, step back and contemplate and ask yourself, how do we make this better for all moms?

Make sure you reach out to your local breastfeeding professionals. Make them feel important, and ask them to be a part of what you are doing.

And be aware that things move slowly.