This past week has been something of a challenge as mini-man and I try to recuperate from our Texas trip; now we have been joined by this lovely long-lasting cold. We are both miserable.
Yesterday was one of those days where I was looking fondly back on the time when I could be sick by myself, where I could take a long shower, sleep until I couldn’t sleep any more, rest, read a book, maybe watch a movie. And I could do all this alone. Instead I am wiping snot off a clingy child while trying to change another blow-out diaper as he sobs hysterically because… I don’t know.
My poor hubby bore the brunt of my day when he arrived home as he wanted to hug me and I wanted nothing to do with being clung to.
By the end of the evening I was in such a self-pitying mood and the question that kept running through my head is “Where is the me time in all of this? When do my needs get taken care of?” And then it hit me. Well, it didn’t actually hit me, it came to me more like a rising awareness, softly whispering in to my subconscious mind. I had been taken care of! You see, I was raised in an attachment parenting home, I have been well cared for and nourished in every way in my life and now it is from that well of love, affirmation, and care that I am reaching out to take care of my child. I was cared for when I was sick, I was snuggled, fed comfort foods, and bathed. I don’t ever remember feeling like an inconvenience though I am sure that just like my son I was trying at times.
I had me time and it was good. Now it is time for me to dig in to that well-nourished (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) child I have in me and give unreservedly to my own child Me.
You’ve got a good point, but that doesn’t mean you still don’t need some “me” time now! You need to find someone to watch your little boy for 3-4 hours so you can have a break! One thing that concerns me a little about some AP promoters is that they sometimes seem to advocate that AP means complete self-sacrifice and denying any personal needs for time and space. AP must also honor the parents as well as the children. I’m AP – breastfeeding toddler, babywearing, cosleeping, etc – but I recognize that I need some time alone for myself and I don’t feel guilty about it. Nor should you.
Maria,
I completely agree with you! There is def. a time for “you” time and also a time for couple time with your partner so that you can maintain a healthy relationship, this post, and maybe I should have clarified more, was speaking right to my attitude of “poor me” that I found myself falling in to.
Thank you for pointing out to take healthy – guilt free – time for yourself!
I second Maria’s points but I see what you mean in your response. I understand.
I also wanted to add that I’m reassured to hear that someone else doesn’t want more clinging etc. at the end of the day. Lots of times I feel like I’m giving and giving all day, and then when I want to rest/recharge after a long day (and the kids are finally asleep) then my husband is feeling needy and I am torn between meeting yet another person’s needs or meeting my own.
Maria, when my son is sick, he doesn’t want anyone else but mommy. I think the last thing on a mommas mind while a child is sick is finding a babysitter.
Stephanie, I’d love to read more on how other AP parents deal with that.