Respond with Sensitivity

Telling Your Child About Death

July 29, 2011

Just three weeks ago I paced the house, cleaning and straightening. I was nervous about breaking the horrible news that our neighbor and first-grade teacher had died suddenly. My eight-year-old daughter adored this woman and I knew that she would be hurt. Children learn about death from many sources, but they learn about grieving from [...]

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AP and Spanking Don’t Mix

July 27, 2011

Many parents, even many of those who are focused on creating a secure attachment with their child, spank as a form of discipline.  They may say things like… “I only spank when….” “I only spank after I’ve tried [XYZ] first.” “Spanking is OK when it’s done [a certain way], but not [a certain other way].” [...]

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I’m Not Alone

July 14, 2011

Benjamin’s in my arms right now.  Quiet, sleeping, calm. I’m watching him like an oil painting in a museum.  My tiny giant one year old.  I study his face and body.  His ears have grown; they are now the size of apricots.  His hair curls with the humidity.   I study his sounds.  His tiny snores [...]

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Quiet is Okay

June 29, 2011

Early on, I remember being in new groups and being shooed away to “go play with the kids.” I have memories of not really wanting to play with a bunch of kids I didn’t know, but they would look like they were having fun. So I’d force myself, thinking that I might end up having [...]

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Letter to that smart person with smart kids

June 24, 2011

Before anyone gets all paranoid, know that this goes for all ridiculously intelligent people with intelligent children. And know that I have astronomical standards for what constitutes plain ‘ol intelligent, much less ridiculously intelligent, so by nature, very few qualify. But if you do… I’m watching you. I’m making note of your every move. I’m [...]

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What is Misbehavior?

June 22, 2011

“Children don’t misbehave, they simply behave to get their needs met.” This quote comes from Dr. Thomas Gordon, but other psychologists and parent educators have said the same thing. Dr. Jane Nelsen devotes a whole section of her book, Positive Discipline, as well as lessons in her parenting classes to understanding children’s mistaken goals of [...]

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Children Talking to Adults

May 30, 2011

My two and a half year old Jacob is very friendly. It could be because he’s my second child, and so he has benefited from my more relaxed parenting this time around as well as being doted on by his adoring older sister. It could be because he’s a Leo, the sign of nobility. It [...]

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In a strange land…

May 17, 2011

Imagine you’ve just had some dental work done. Your deadened nerves make your mouth droop on one side. You’re drooling, but you don’t know you’re drooling because you can’t feel your face. Your tongue feels like it doesn’t quite fit in your mouth. And then, the phone rings. Someone’s calling about that job you’ve had [...]

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