The Gift of a Day

by Sonya Feher on January 13, 2009

Share Button

My birthday is three days before Christmas. My husband took the day off of work and my mom said she’d help with whatever I needed so it could be my day. Even with those generous offers, I’ve had a very hard time figuring out how I’d like to spend my time. I don’t want to go shopping or out to dinner. I couldn’t even decide if I wanted a cake.

Figuring out what I wanted to do for me was challenging, I think, because I spend most of my days looking after people I love. The ubiquitous warnings about how your life changes when you have a child, how you should go to the movies or grown-up restaurants didn’t prepare me for the utter transition of self that comes with becoming a mama, especially an AP mama. For my last two birthdays, I couldn’t imagine wanting to be away from my son. The best way I could spend my birthdays was being with a person I had birthed into the world, but he just turned two and I feel differently this year.

It’s not movies and restaurants I miss. Actually, Mike and I went to see Synecdoche, New York recently while my mom watched Cavanaugh, and I go out to eat with and without my son. What I have a hard time with is not having lizard hands, since diaper changing, yogurt spills, digging in the dirt, and wiping noses necessitate at least twenty hand washings a day. I miss taking a shower without a little person yelling, “No” or “Milk.” I miss sleeping in and spending an entire Sunday afternoon reading a book.

So, when I started thinking about what I’d actually like to do on my birthday, I was sure of three things. I wanted to take a shower and for the house to be clean. And I scheduled a mani/pedi with a gift certificate I received for last year’s birthday. I just want some quiet and time with myself. I don’t want to gorge on sweets or go shopping. I want to sit in my house alone and write, read, crochet, nap, drink some hot chai, and just be still. Especially going into the holidays, I find that it’s easy to lose days to errands, decorating, purchasing presents and to get to the end of the day and feel like it was lost. Today, I want to give myself the gift of balance and of receiving some nurturing touch, of time taking care of myself since most of every day is spent nurturing a little person I love more than pink toenails or a trip to the toilet alone.

Happy birthday to me! Happy holidays to you! May we all find some balance and receive some nurturing touch.

Sonya Fehér is a writer and mama living in Austin, Texas. She blogs at mamaTRUE

Share Button
Sonya Feher (27 Posts)

Sonya Fehér is mama to Cavanaugh True who is almost five. She blogs about single parenting, self-care, and mindfulness at mamaTRUE: parenting as practice. She is the leader of the S. Austin chapter of API and is a professional organizer helping families to create kid and parent-friendly homes.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Jumbleberry Jam January 13, 2009 at 9:21 am

What a lovely birthday! It’ s my dream day, too :-)

Reply

Maria January 13, 2009 at 9:29 am

I have been contemplating this myself. My birthday isn’t until July, but my husband always asks what I want to do, and lately all I’ve wanted is some time to hang out at home, read and write without interruption, and enjoy some quiet time. After a few hours though I’ll be ready for my son to come home. :)

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: