Respond with Sensitivity – Page 60

When you are feeling overwhelmed by breastfeeding

My daughter has just turned two. Breastfeeding is still going strong here and we have no plans to stop yet. However, when your child turns two, you expect them to be more independent and breastfeed less. At least that was my expectation.

In January we were away visiting my sister. Believe me, my daughter was feeding much more than her 3 month old cousin! I started to feel overwhelmed but thought this was because we were away from home and she is missing daddy.

Once we returned home, to my surprise nothing changed.

I started to question whether this was normal or not. Was it normal to breastfeed so much at this age or was she just trying to get my attention? Continue reading “When you are feeling overwhelmed by breastfeeding”

His Only Spank

When my son was 18 months old, he developed a yeast infection. His entire diaper area was exceedingly red and angry, and it was obvious it was causing him pain. Changing his diaper was excruciating; either my husband or I would firmly him, and the other one would very quickly change the diaper. The pain was so great for him that he’d try to scurry away, and I can’t say I blame him; it had to have been miserable for him! We were following the pediatrician’s recommendation of applying yeast infection cream to the area, but this treatment had just started the day before, and the healing had a long way to go. Continue reading “His Only Spank”

Gently Weaning From The Pacifier

Last month, my two-year-old daughter had an MRI. She has an eye condition called strabismus, for now she uses the daily disposable lenses, but in the future she will have to undergo surgery to correct the problem. Prior to surgery, she needed the MRI to rule out any neurological causes behind the eye condition, and because she is only two, the procedure required sedation.

In my bag, along with a change of clothes and her special blanket, I also brought her pacifier. She takes it to sleep with, and it’s an instant soother for her when she is upset, so I figured I should have it in case the procedure was frightening.

She did wonderfully, until it was time to take her back for the sedation part. Nurses and doctors bustled about, and there was a lot of equipment and flashing lights and beeping, and she started to look a little nervous, so I gave her the pacifier.

The nurse caring for her made a comment about it and said she could tell from looking at her that she is a pacifier child. “My son took a pacifier and his teeth looked like hers,” she said.

The comment made me think. Is there something wrong with my child’s teeth? They look fine to me. Should I have weaned her from these pacifiers by now? She only takes it at naptime and bedtime, it’s not like it’s in her mouth all day long. We made that decision some time ago. She talks well too, so I hadn’t seriously considered weaning her from the pacifier until now.

Part of the reason for that is because I very strongly believe that you shouldn’t take away a child’s comfort object just because the experts say “it’s time.” How is it beneficial to abruptly remove a child’s bottle because they have turned one, or take away a school age child’s teddy bear because “only babies sleep with stuffed animals?” In my house, transitions are usually done a little later than recommended, but they are done slowly and gently, so the effects are long lasting.

My daughter went down for her nap today as usual, with her pacifier in her mouth. Still though I’m wondering if it’s time to start thinking about the best way to wean her from her pacifier use, and I could use some advice for the gentlest way to do so.

Did your child use a pacifier? How did you wean them from it and at what age?

Sleep Associations: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

picture-072 Sleep associations can be extremely powerful for babies, children, and adults. When a baby first comes into the world, he is usually able to sleep just about anywhere but doesn’t sleep for long stretches. Over time, your baby’s ability to sleep anywhere will change and sleep associations will be created.

The good news is that sleep associations can be extremely powerful. Continue reading “Sleep Associations: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly”

A moment of clarity

I often struggle to explain to people how Attachment Parenting differs from other parenting styles. For me, one of the touchstones is trying to meet my children’s needs, but I realize that all conscientious parents are trying to meet their children’s needs, even though we may differ in our understanding of what those needs are. Then I think of explaining that I try to listen to the needs my children express themselves, but this becomes complicated since I don’t actually believe that my daughter needs ice cream nearly as often as she thinks she does.

It is often easier to give examples, or to talk about the kinds of techniques attachment parents typically use. To talk about what I don’t do, like letting babies cry it out or using physical punishment and threats to elicit compliant behavior. Continue reading “A moment of clarity”

Weaning in the Context of AP

My son Cavanaugh is a little over two now and we recently embarked on night weaning. Night weaning then researching weaning for our API meeting last month got me thinking about breastfeeding in the Attachment Parenting community. So many of the AP mamas I know were planning on child-led weaning and many of them are changing their minds as their kids move further into toddlerhood. But a lot of us have mixed feelings about weaning, whether we decide to partially, gradually, or abruptly wean or to nurse as long as our kids feel like they need it.

So here’s how I’ve been thinking about weaning in relation to the Eight Principles of API

Continue reading “Weaning in the Context of AP”

Disciplining The Sensitive Child

I have two children, a four-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl. They have vastly different personalities, and I’ve had to tailor my parenting to address those differences. My son is energetic, independent and fearless, he is a picky eater, and even as a young baby, he didn’t sleep a lot. My daughter is more reserved and cautious, she sleeps and eats well, and she’s quieter.

The differences between them are most apparent when it comes to discipline.

When my son was two, a timeout was effective form of discipline for him. He’s the kind of kid you needed to physically pull away from sticking his fingers in the electrical socket because he wouldn’t listen any other way. A timeout is still a part of my discipline repertoire for him, and part of the reason it is such a punishment is because he has to stop playing, leave his toys and be by himself sitting on his bed. 99% of the time, he comes out a few minutes later, all apologetic and hugs me and says he won’t do whatever it was he did. Now that he is four, disciplining him continues to be a more “hands-on” approach. We don’t spank our children, but I do have to take his hands, and have him look me in the face, so I have his full attention. Continue reading “Disciplining The Sensitive Child”

Baby, Give Me a Sign

Our daughter has a lot to say. She’ll chatter animatedly to any available audience . . . she just doesn’t include many recognizable words in her conversation. At 16 months, her verbal vocabulary includes “mama” and “dada,” “hi,” “baby,” “no,” “cat,” and a couple of close approximations of “belly button” and “nose.” Fortunately, she isn’t limited in communicating by language – she can sign!

We started baby sign language with our little one when she was about 7 months old. Initially, we introduced just a few signs associated with her favorite activities: nursing and eating. She picked up the sign for “all done” first (waving her hands away from her body), providing a conclusion to mealtime we much preferred over the previous method of dumping whatever was left on the floor. Next, she added a sign for “drink,” adapting our example of a thumb to the lips to pointing with her index finger at her mouth while tilting her head back. Continue reading “Baby, Give Me a Sign”