Author: API Blog

APtly Said, Formerly API Speaks launched in April of 2008 as part of Attachment Parenting International's larger effort to offer interactive content through their newly-redesigned web site: http://www.attachmentparenting.org. All contributors to APtly Said, as with so many of API's staff, are volunteers who donate their time and energy to promote Attachment Parenting world wide.

Breastfeeding Is Not Just For Babies! The Benefits of Breastfeeding a Toddler

I loved breastfeeding my daughter when she was a newborn. Her tiny body fit within the crook of my arm, and I treasured the feeling of cradling her there as she nursed. I loved seeing her take such immense comfort from me and my milk; nursing both soothed and sustained her. It was so peaceful . . . slow summer afternoons spent with her gazing softly up at me, hands clasped at her chest as though she was holding on to the most important thing in the world.

Nineteen months later, she’s as likely to be nursing standing on her head as in any other position. Continue reading “Breastfeeding Is Not Just For Babies! The Benefits of Breastfeeding a Toddler”

When you are feeling overwhelmed by breastfeeding

My daughter has just turned two. Breastfeeding is still going strong here and we have no plans to stop yet. However, when your child turns two, you expect them to be more independent and breastfeed less. At least that was my expectation.

In January we were away visiting my sister. Believe me, my daughter was feeding much more than her 3 month old cousin! I started to feel overwhelmed but thought this was because we were away from home and she is missing daddy.

Once we returned home, to my surprise nothing changed.

I started to question whether this was normal or not. Was it normal to breastfeed so much at this age or was she just trying to get my attention? Continue reading “When you are feeling overwhelmed by breastfeeding”

Attachment Parenting Is Keeping Us Up at Night: Why We Haven’t Gone the Cry-It-Out Route

Our daughter has never been much inclined toward sleep. A standard stretch usually won’t exceed four hours, and more frequent waking (like every hour) is far from unheard of in our house. As a result, my husband and I have yet to get a solid night’s sleep in the last 18 months.

We have marveled at the discovery that our bodies (and our minds – though arguably to a lesser extent) can continue to function on just a few nonconsecutive hours of rest a night, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. And yet, each night, when she cries, we wake to soothe her back to sleep beside us.

Mainstream American parenting culture tells us that she should be sleeping through the night by now. Continue reading “Attachment Parenting Is Keeping Us Up at Night: Why We Haven’t Gone the Cry-It-Out Route”

A moment of clarity

I often struggle to explain to people how Attachment Parenting differs from other parenting styles. For me, one of the touchstones is trying to meet my children’s needs, but I realize that all conscientious parents are trying to meet their children’s needs, even though we may differ in our understanding of what those needs are.  Then I think of explaining that I try to listen to the needs my children express themselves, but this becomes complicated since I don’t actually believe that my daughter needs ice cream nearly as often as she thinks she does.

It is often easier to give examples, or to talk about the kinds of techniques attachment parents typically use.  To talk about what I don’t do, like letting babies cry it out or using physical punishment and threats to elicit compliant behavior. Continue reading “A moment of clarity”

Trusting my instincts

When my son was 16 months old, I decided to try leaving him with a babysitter while I went to a medical appointment.  Up to this point, he’d never been cared for by anyone other than me, my husband, or very occasionally by his grandparents.  He knew the babysitter fairly well, but nonetheless, was miserable the entire time I was gone.  She eventually resorted to wearing him on her back, but even there he wasn’t terribly happy.

I know many people would have taken this as a sign that he needed to get used to being cared for by others,  and recommended that I start leaving him with a babysitter on a regular basis.  I even got offers from some of my friends to look after him.   Continue reading “Trusting my instincts”

Baby, Give Me a Sign

Our daughter has a lot to say. She’ll chatter animatedly to any available audience . . . she just doesn’t include many recognizable words in her conversation. At 16 months, her verbal vocabulary includes “mama” and “dada,” “hi,” “baby,” “no,” “cat,” and a couple of close approximations of “belly button” and “nose.” Fortunately, she isn’t limited in communicating by language – she can sign!

We started baby sign language with our little one when she was about 7 months old. Initially, we introduced just a few signs associated with her favorite activities: nursing and eating. She picked up the sign for “all done” first (waving her hands away from her body), providing a conclusion to mealtime we much preferred over the previous method of dumping whatever was left on the floor. Next, she added a sign for “drink,” adapting our example of a thumb to the lips to pointing with her index finger at her mouth while tilting her head back. Continue reading “Baby, Give Me a Sign”

Weighing in on Breastfeeding in Public

I feel so lucky that I live in a place that is so open to nursing in public. I have never been asked to cover up, given funny looks, or asked to move to the bathroom to nurse my children. But I know so many mothers who are terrified of nursing in public because they have been questioned, given looks, and asked to move.

As much as those stories infuriate me, today I feel there is cause to celebrate…and to weigh in. Some of you probably already have accounts on Opposing Views because they seem to cover quite a few topics (spanking among them) that AP parents care about. Today they launched the debate: Should Women Breastfeed in Public?

The reason we should celebrate is because it’s not even a debate–no one stepped up to take the “No” position on this one. I choose to make this mean that we’re winning the battle against ignorance and I commend the three wonderful experts who spelled out all the many reasons to support nursing in public. But your votes still send a strong message to any dissenters (and as long as neanderthals people like Barbara Walters are around, there will always be dissenters on this topic), so go on, vote to support a baby’s right to eat in public.

While you’re there, you might also want to vote on these two: