Nurturings tucks the research-based Eight Principles of Parenting into 3 parenting skills that academic literature shows are irreducible requirements for children to flourish:
- Shared "together time" with caring adults on a regular basis -- "Follow your child's lead with delight" is different from, and as important, as other time we spend being in the lead with our children;
- Soothed in times of distress by caring adults -- Empathy, hugs, nurturing touch, and "just being there" are as important, and different from, helping our children to problem solve.
- Shaped and guided in growth by caring adults -- Using proactive, broad, dynamic, and responsive routines allows parents to shape growth instead of struggling to keep up or stay a step ahead. Our routines shape the everyday interactions that shape our children over time. Responding to behavior is also important.
Focusing on the relationship creates deeper and lasting shifts that help parents see that every moment is a new opportunity for positive relationship-building.
We didn't do away with the Eight Principles of Parenting. We simply repackaged them into 3 easy-to-remember parenting skills that encompass the three "irreducible requirements for children to flourish" while easily flexing with family circumstances and growing children's changing needs:
- Share Time Together
- Soothe Distress
- Shape Routines
Beautiful things about these 3 parenting skills:
- There are no barriers to any caring adult using these 3 skills with any child.
- These 3 skills are all easy to use, positive, and interconnected, building on and supporting one other, and getting easier to do and provide more benefits with more use.
- No child misses out as long as there is even a single adult in their life, at any point of time, no matter the child's age, who uses any of these 3 skills.
- The benefits of these 3 skills are felt faster and stronger when families begin using them through the "built-in baby basics" of breastfeeding, babywearing, and/or being responsive.
- The 3 skills also apply to adult-adult relationships, because relational health is a prerequisite for adult flourishing, too.
When have you shared time together with your child today? How do you soothe your child when sad, scared, and angry? How do you shape your child's wellbeing through daily routines?
