There is something so fun about watching my older children mimic my parenting approach with their younger siblings.
When my second child was born, our oldest was only 2 years old. While she was very sweet with her new baby brother, she mostly just politely ignored him. I did catch her gently rocking and lifting her shirt to nurse her favorite stuffed duck toy occasionally.
When our third child was born, our oldest was 5 and definitely more interested but still mostly preferred to "mother" her dolls, carrying them around in doll slings and such, than to do much with her baby brother.
This last time around, though, when our fourth child was born, our oldest is 7 and is much more interested in helping to care for her baby sister. She helps with diaper changes, confidently hikes her baby sister onto her hip, and just yesterday asked to wear her sister on her back in a carrier.
I reflexively said "no," but then reconsidered. Why not, if I was supervising?
She was tickled that I let her try it out.
I guess, before I had more than one child, it never occurred to me how much the baby gets from having older siblings. Everyone seems to talk about the benefits of siblings to the older child: "You are getting a playmate! You'll be a big sister!" We don't hear enough about how the baby benefits, too.
I mean, my fourth baby positively glows when her big sister and brothers appear.
We call this fourth baby "the luckiest baby" for having three older siblings. Her every sound and cute, little motion is quickly responded to. She has a built-in audience when she notices the fan and starts moving her arm in a circle: Three little voices notice and encourage her to keep going.
I remember vaguely feeling a bit sorry for my firstborn when our second baby arrived, imagining the reduced amount of parental attention she would get, that she would be sitting around pining for my attention when my hands would be full with a new baby.
While this was somewhat true for the first few months after my second baby was born, she and her brother soon became inseparable and played together constantly. They gave each other much more attention than I would've been able to manage to give each of them one-on-one with me, even with my best effort. I mean, my patience for playing tea and reading toddler books is, shall we say, finite.
And now, these days, seven years later, I have to fight for my time with my children: They are so self-sufficient with each other. I had completely underestimated this part of a growing family!
Editor’s note: Sometimes siblings do not get along. Like all relationships, there are moments or seasons of conflict. Age, temperament, gender, and stage of development as well as the situation at hand, whether a child needs a nap or meal, and so many other factors influence a sibling relationship. Children benefit when parents take time to guide siblings in navigating these close relationships and the inevitable challenges.
What benefits do your children get from having siblings, even if they don’t always get along? What are moments of connection they do have?
