Gentle Baby and Toddler Sleep Tips

Photo credit: Lab2112 on flickr

This post provides tips for sleep deprived parents that want their babies to sleep better and, like me, do not want to use the cry it out approach. Some of these things I have learned through experience and others I’ve learned through reading research. I should note that I have not necessarily tried all of these things because I do not consider my children’s sleep to be a problem. That doesn’t mean that they never wake up and it doesn’t mean that there are not tough nights here and there, but on the whole I get enough rest and my kids get enough rest.

1. Calming Bedtime Routine Continue reading “Gentle Baby and Toddler Sleep Tips”

Attachment Parenting Is Keeping Us Up at Night: Why We Haven’t Gone the Cry-It-Out Route

Our daughter has never been much inclined toward sleep. A standard stretch usually won’t exceed four hours, and more frequent waking (like every hour) is far from unheard of in our house. As a result, my husband and I have yet to get a solid night’s sleep in the last 18 months.

We have marveled at the discovery that our bodies (and our minds – though arguably to a lesser extent) can continue to function on just a few nonconsecutive hours of rest a night, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. And yet, each night, when she cries, we wake to soothe her back to sleep beside us.

Mainstream American parenting culture tells us that she should be sleeping through the night by now. Continue reading “Attachment Parenting Is Keeping Us Up at Night: Why We Haven’t Gone the Cry-It-Out Route”

Sleep Associations: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

picture-072Sleep associations can be extremely powerful for babies, children, and adults. When a baby first comes into the world, he is usually able to sleep just about anywhere but doesn’t sleep for long stretches. Over time, your baby’s ability to sleep anywhere will change and sleep associations will be created.

The good news is that sleep associations can be extremely powerful. Continue reading “Sleep Associations: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly”

Weaning in the Context of AP

My son Cavanaugh is a little over two now and we recently embarked on night weaning. Night weaning then researching weaning for our API meeting last month got me thinking about breastfeeding in the Attachment Parenting  community. So many of the AP mamas I know were planning on child-led weaning and many of them are changing their minds as their kids move further into toddlerhood. But a lot of us have mixed feelings about weaning, whether we decide to partially, gradually, or abruptly wean or to nurse as long as our kids feel like they need it.

So here’s how I’ve been thinking about weaning in relation to the Eight Principles of API

Continue reading “Weaning in the Context of AP”

AP in the Hospital

Last month, my 17 month old son had to stay overnight for an operation.  It was a routine procedure, but I was still wracked with worry.  It broke my heart when he cried for food the morning of the operation and I couldn’t give him anything.  As we waited in the hospital for his surgery to begin, the nurses started bringing around breakfast and he’d point and sign ‘eat’, crying because he didn’t understand why we weren’t complying.  I cried as he went in to surgery and again, with relief, when he came out safe.  As we met him in recovery, he was wearing a sleepsack that was tied down to the mattress of a crib.  It wasn’t completely unexpected, as I’d seen other children on his floor restrained in this way while he was in surgery, but I still worried that they would somehow hurt my baby. Thankfully I can go here to get legal assistance if they harm him in any way during his stay at the hospital.

When he woke, he was disoriented  and became distraught fighting the restraints.  I tried my best to calm him and after asking the nurses, I breastfed him, leaning awkwardly over the side of his crib to do so.  He fell asleep and the surgeons came in to speak to us.  I told them that our son wasn’t used to a crib and it wasn’t easy to breastfeed him the way he was placed. They didn’t really say much back, I’m not sure they really knew what to do, but the nurse with them did.
Continue reading “AP in the Hospital”

Attached During the Holiday

Before I was a parent, December was a time of calm. There were a few office Christmas parties, and a little bit of shopping, but there was nothing frantic about it. We’d drive around to find the best light displays, go see a Christmas movie or two in the theatre, and just relish in the season. On Christmas morning, my husband and I would leisurely open our gifts, then head over to his mother’s house.

How times have changed.
Continue reading “Attached During the Holiday”

AP When Things Are Upside Down

Joy, love, and simplicity are certainly some of the most compelling reasons that our family has chosen to practice Attachment Parenting. AP principles, like keeping our baby close, responding to our children with sensitivity and respect, and engaging in night time parenting have made our lives infinitely sweeter, gentler, and less stressful. So, recently, when our family was asked to contend with an unexpected hardship we were grateful to already have the strong bonds, security, and trust that we have gained through our AP relationship.

We are a relatively healthy family who relies mainly on good nutrition and clean living to help us keep up with four children. On the whole, we are fortunate to enjoy good health and do not take it for granted. When my husband came down with a touch of the flu last month, we brewed some tea, made some soup and figured he’d be better in a few days. The rest of us went into immune-building mode: I nursed the baby more frequently, we included some immune-boosting foods and supplements into our regular diets and everyone got some extra sleep. By day three, my husband was worse, not better. And nobody else was feeling ill yet. Another three days passed with no improvement. And other than being more tired from having the other half of my parenting team incapacitated, I was not feeling ill. Nobody in our house had the flu—including my husband.

Watching a child suffer through an illness is a parents’ worst nightmare…our little ones can seem so helpless and vulnerable. However, seeing a 6′ 4” grown man who is too weak to get out of bed for a week is very distressing, too. Our big, strong, wood-chopping, snow-shoveling, chief wage earner, and carry-the-kids-to-bed Daddy had come to a screeching halt. This was beyond my soup, rest, and TLC skills. We had no choice. Continue reading “AP When Things Are Upside Down”

Nighttime parenting

My daughter is almost two years old. I still nurse her to sleep in the sling.Once in the afternoon for a nap and once in the evening.This process takes at least 30 minutes if I’m very lucky,if not more than that. When she falls into deep sleep,I transfer her to the bed.

If you had told me this when I was a mom of a 3 month old,I wouldn’t believe it.Back then I didn’t know that most of the babies need some kind of parenting to sleep. Continue reading “Nighttime parenting”