Following the Principles: Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting

Part 1 of a series of 8.

“Look at this,” I mumble out of the corner of my mouth as I shove the white and purple plastic stick in Sir Hubby’s direction. The two younger kids are nearby and it is too soon to clue them in yet.

“Uh. What exactly am I looking at?” he replies, his tone already rising an octave. He senses danger.

“C’mon. Really?” I hiss. I know he has seen a pregnancy test before.

“No, no. I know what it is. I just don’t know what it says,” he confesses.

It says oops.”

And so begins our journey towards meeting Loin Fruit Number Five, or LF#5 as we like to call the little critter.

Continue reading “Following the Principles: Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting”

Soon they are best friends (Part 4 in a series on having baby #2)

This is the fourth and last post in a series on preparing for a second baby. If you haven’t read them already, check out the first part What on Earth Were We Thinking? and the second part To tandem or not to tandem, and third part Move over: making room for one more in the bed.

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It wasn’t long until my anxiety about bringing a second child into our home gave way to the reality and excitement of introducing our little girl to the family. Our son was generally excited about having her around, but like any child he had his moments…moments where, for example, he said “Baby sister go back in mommy’s tummy now.” But those moments were few and far between and what I remember more than anything else was my son being a devoted big brother, one that was loving and helpful with his little sister. I remember him wanting to hold her and glowing when he did. I remember him getting her to giggle and laugh.

I think part of the reason things turned out so well is our capacity as humans to love. Our capacity as parents to expand our hearts and find so much more love. My son’s capacity to open his heart to this new little intruder in his life. But the other reason things turned out so well was that we prepared and we adapted.

So what can you do to prepare your older child? How can you make things easier for the big brother or sister?

Move over: making room for 1 more in the bed (Part 3 of a series on preparing for baby #2)

This is the third post in a series on preparing for a second baby. If you haven’t read it already, check out the first part What on Earth Were We Thinking? and the second part To tandem or not to tandem.

…there were four in a bed and the little one said

“roll over, roll over”

so they all rolled over and one fell out

There were three in a bed and the little one said…

Sprawling limbs. Acrobatic nursing. Coughs. Teeth grinding. Wiggling. Wet diapers. Teething. All things that can make sleeping with multiple children challenging. But the cuddles, ah….the cuddles. They make it all worthwhile. And having your kids feel secure at night is a wonderful feeling. Continue reading “Move over: making room for 1 more in the bed (Part 3 of a series on preparing for baby #2)”

To tandem or not to tandem (Part 2 of series on preparing for baby #2)

This is the second post in a series on preparing for a second baby. If you haven’t read it already, check out the first part What on Earth Were We Thinking?

In [my] attachment parenting circles nursing into toddlerhood is common. A lot of parents strive for child-led weaning or at the very least gradual and gentle weaning. What that means is that a lot of moms are still nursing their first child when they get pregnant with the second (especially if they believed the myth that you can’t get pregnant while nursing, which is only true under certain circumstances for a limited time period). Continue reading “To tandem or not to tandem (Part 2 of series on preparing for baby #2)”

What on earth were we thinking? (Part 1 of series on preparing for baby #2)

Panic.

Complete panic.

It’s 3:00am. I’m 30 weeks pregnant. My 2 year old son wakes up again and wants Mommy. I nurse him back to sleep, get up to pee again (pregnant bladder) and try to find a comfortable position to sleep where my huge belly is neither making me uncomfortable nor in danger of being kicked by a restless toddler.

What on earth were we thinking?

What the hell am I going to do when a newborn and a toddler both have nighttime needs?

Were we wrong to want another baby when our boy was still so much a baby himself? Should we have listened to “mainstream” parenting advice and pushed him away, made him independent, toughened him up? Continue reading “What on earth were we thinking? (Part 1 of series on preparing for baby #2)”

Saving Money through Attachment

In these tough economic times, I’ve been reflecting on how much money is spent unnecessarily on pregnancy and childbirth.  I thought I’d write about ways that attachment parenting can help save parents money.
Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting

  • By being informed about different birthing methods and medical interventions, you can be more involved in those decisions and this could help avoid unnecessary medical costs.
  • Taking care of yourself and eating right will also reduce your risk of complications during pregnancy.
  • You don’t need to buy pregnancy and parenting books to be well-informed either.  You can check out books from your local library and/or read articles on the web.

Continue reading “Saving Money through Attachment”

Trial by fire

When my son, my husband and I came home from the hospital, my husband had to make an emergency run to get the foul-tasting supplement Poly Vi Sol, as well as a canister of formula. What business do I have on API Speaks? My son, Peter Gwydion, was born at 28 weeks gestation due to my developing severe preeclampsia. Instead of a third trimester filled with belly casts and pregnancy photos that ended with a beautiful homebirth, we spent two months living in an apartment an hour and a half away from our home while Gwyn worked hard in the NICU.

Continue reading “Trial by fire”

Weaning in the Context of AP

My son Cavanaugh is a little over two now and we recently embarked on night weaning. Night weaning then researching weaning for our API meeting last month got me thinking about breastfeeding in the Attachment Parenting  community. So many of the AP mamas I know were planning on child-led weaning and many of them are changing their minds as their kids move further into toddlerhood. But a lot of us have mixed feelings about weaning, whether we decide to partially, gradually, or abruptly wean or to nurse as long as our kids feel like they need it.

So here’s how I’ve been thinking about weaning in relation to the Eight Principles of API

Continue reading “Weaning in the Context of AP”

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