AP with Teens – Page 3

Editor’s Pick: Renee Jain on “Anxious Children”

“One in eight children suffer from anxiety. Many kids miss school, social activities and a good night’s rest just from the worried thoughts in their head. Many parents suffer from frustration and a feeling of helplessness when they witness their child in this state day in, day out.” ~ Renee Jain, “9 Things Every Parent with an Anxious Child Should Try“

We all want to raise happy, healthy, confident children. But some children seem to have a harder time at managing their anxiety than others.

We see this even with infants. Some babies, from birth, have what we refer to as a high-needs temperament. They demand to be held more and fed more. They seem to need more attention and to be overall more intense.

And in fact, they are more intense and need more attention, from a biological standpoint. I spoke with Dr. Jerome Kagan, PhD, one of the key pioneers in the field of developmental psychology, for Attachment Parenting International‘s “Loving Uniquely” issue of Attached Family magazine. Much of what we know about child temperament can be traced back to Dr. Kagan’s research into the intersection of nature-nurture in child temperament.

RITA: What were the biggest discoveries in your research?

DR. KAGAN: The biggest discoveries were the two temperaments we call “high reactive” and “low reactive.” High-reactive temperaments are difficult as infants, but proper rearing can offset the anxiety that is common when they are children.

The second related discovery was that these two groups have different brain chemistry.

RITA: Is it so much the child’s temperament that is challenging in a family, or is it rather the temperamental differences between a child and the parent?

DR. KAGAN: The difficulty rests with the fact that the parent is either guilty over her child, frustrated over the inability to alter the child’s behavior or becomes angry at the child. Be patient. Don’t blame the child. Try to change the child with consistent practices.

RITA: How can parents use temperament research in relating to and raising children that they may find challenging?

DR. KAGAN: The key is to initially not blame the child and to avoid blaming oneself for the difficulty, and try to socialize the child with gentle but consistent discipline.

So what, exactly, works to ease our children’s anxiety, especially if they’re prone to worry?

Should we push them beyond their comfort zone? Should we avoid anything that scares them? Should we pretend our child’s anxiety isn’t that big of deal? Renee Jain, a blogger at GoStrengths, gives nine really great, Attachment Parenting-minded tips in her Huffington Post article, “9 Things Every Parent with an Anxious Child Should Try.”

After earning a Bachelor of Science in Finance, Renee Jain pursued a Master of Applied Positive Psychology and now coaches parents on how to teach resilience and happiness skills to tweens and teens.

Let’s look at the first of Renee’s 9 suggestions for parents of anxious children in her article:

1. Stop reassuring your child — Your child worries. You know there is nothing to worry about, so you say, “Trust me. There’s nothing to worry about.” Done and done, right? We all wish it were that simple. Why does your reassurance fall on deaf ears? It’s actually not the ears causing the issue. Your anxious child desperately wants to listen to you, but the brain won’t let it happen. During periods of anxiety, there is a rapid dump of chemicals and mental transitions executed in your body for survival. One by-product is that the prefrontal cortex — or more logical part of the brain — gets put on hold while the more automated emotional brain takes over. In other words, it is really hard for your child to think clearly, use logic or even remember how to complete basic tasks. What should you do instead of trying to rationalize the worry away? Try something I call the FEEL method:

Freeze — pause and take some deep breaths with your child. Deep breathing can help reverse the nervous system response.

Empathize — anxiety is scary. Your child wants to know that you get it.

Evaluate — once your child is calm, it’s time to figure out possible solutions.

Let Go — Let go of your guilt; you are an amazing parent giving your child the tools to manage their worry.

Read on for the next eight tips…

Hold on to Your Kids

By Lysa Parker, cofounder of Attachment Parenting International and coauthor of Attached at the Heart

For me, Attachment Parenting (AP) has been like a life preserver in a cultural sea that is constantly in turbulence and posing many dangers.

While AP provides us with tools for holding on to your kids, once they enter the world at large you hope your children will stay connected, but we’ve found it continues to take effort on our part as parents. The bottom line is that all relationships take work — even with our spouses.

At every stage of our children’s lives, we hoped that we just could relax and enjoy the fruits of all the efforts we put into them in their early years, only to find out that the relaxing part comes in spurts.

Of course their successes, joys and triumphs become yours as well, but it can be so hard to watch them find their way in this world. Their struggles and pain become your struggles and pain. You know they have to go through the realities of life; they have to learn through their own experiences and decisions.

I wish we could just turn off our emotions and brush our hands and say, “We did our job as parents and now it’s up to them,” but you can’t — not when you are connected. As children grow into their teens and even adulthood, it takes a conscious effort to keep that connection…everyday!

There are so many temptations in our world, so many “wolves” just waiting to attack the hearts and minds of our children. We not only have to build their strength and confidence to face these challenges, but we have to do it for ourselves so that we can be there when they need us and be strong. That’s where having a strong AP community as your extended family can be a safety net.

Attachment Parenting International cofounder and Attached at the Heart coauthor Barbara Nicholson and I often talk about our sons, how we’ve raised sensitive young men who are creative and very independent. While these are wonderful qualities, some of our children are finding it very difficult to find their place in this world and it’s taking a lot longer than we thought. We have no doubt that they will, but it’s not as easy as it seems for others.

We can’t help ourselves from wondering, worrying about them finding the right person to share their life, to bear their children. Will they choose AP as their path or go the opposite way? Will they stay close to our family? Will they all be healthy and happy?

My husband will half-jokingly say that when he turned 18, his parents ran away from home. Our parents’ and grandparents’ generation thinks it is very odd for a child over the age of 18 to live at home. But more importantly, our high-touch, sensitive children require close connections at home to help them maintain their stability.

I recently listened to an interview with Dr. Robert Epstein who said, in reference to the turmoil and troubles many teens and young adults are having in our Western culture: “Any culture that severs the connection between young people and older people creates this problem.” He went on to say that no other teens in the world experience the problems with drug abuse and suicide like we see.

The point I want to make is that while we may make great improvements in our parenting from previous generations, the AP way of life will not always protect our children or prevent them from making mistakes in judgment. If there are generations of abuse or addictions in your family, changing that course will likely take more than one generation. Still, we can affirm to ourselves that we are on the right path to breaking the cycles of dysfunction that so many families have endured for generations.

Our job as parents is to maintain our connection to our children, to be there when they fall, to be their rock and their compass and bring them back home to a circle of security that will refresh and strengthen their hearts. Attachment Parenting gives us the strength, the wisdom and support to do just that.

The Importance of Volunteering

We have a familiar face guest blogging for us today – former Managing Editor of the blog of Attachment Parenting International, Melissa Hincha-Ownby! She talks about what volunteering has meant for her family and how volunteering can benefit yours.

The Importance of Volunteering

by Melissa Hincha-Ownby

The parenting journey starts with giving birth, breastfeeding and attending to your infant’s every need. As your children get older these decisions change – homeschool, public school or private school? Sports, the arts or both? One activity that isn’t as common, but should be, is volunteering. In my opinion, every child should have the opportunity to volunteer their time with an organization they feel passionate about.

According to the RGK Center for Philanthropy and Community Service, there are many benefits to children serving as volunteers including:

Volunteering promotes healthy lifestyle and choices – children that volunteer are less likely to use drugs, drink alcohol or participate in other at-risk behaviors

Volunteering enhances development – psychological, social and intellectual development growth is enhanced through volunteerism

Volunteering teaches life skills – children that volunteer learn the importance of task completion, reliability, getting along well with others and more

Volunteering improves the community – when children volunteer, they become active and positive participants in their community

Volunteering encourages a lifelong service ethic – children that volunteer grow up to be adults that volunteer

The best way to encourage volunteerism in our children, especially those of us with older children, is to model the behavior. So much of parenting is about modeling the behavior we want our children to emulate and this holds true for volunteerism.

I first began volunteering with Attachment Parenting International as a new support group leader in 2004. Now here it is eight years later and I’m still an active volunteer with the organization even though my role has changed over the years.

As I’ve worked on projects for API, I’ve explain to my children what I’m doing and why. Now, when I take a phone call from a new mom that is worried that her child isn’t sleeping well, my children know that this is part of my volunteer work. I’ve been volunteering for the majority of my children’s lives and so, for them, volunteerism is normal.

Now my oldest is nearing the age where he can go out and find an organization that he is passionate about and volunteer on his own. I’m excited to guide him during this new chapter in his life.
For those of you with older children – do they volunteer their time with an organization they are passionate about?

Melissa is an Arizona-based freelance writer that is passionate about parenting, the environment and of course, volunteerism. Find her at the Mother Nature Network.

Bonding With Children at Every Age – Guest Post by Susan Stiffelman

Once past the early years, many parents come to API for information on how to continue raising children with attachment in mind. Today’s special guest blogger, Susan Stiffelman, explains how Attachment Parenting principles apply to the next phases of a child’s life.

Bonding with Children at Every Age

by MFT Susan Stiffelman

Most of us know that a secure attachment to an attuned parent contributes enormously to a child’s developing sense of self, emotional resilience, and capacity for intimacy. Research has shown that when a child forms a strong attachment with a stable and loving caregiver in the first five years of life, his psychological health will be influenced for the better.

But what if a healthy attachment doesn’t develop during a child’s formative years? Many parents worry that if mother was unavailable due to illness when she had her baby, or a child was adopted at age six, the window of opportunity for establishing a strong parent/child attachment will have been irretrievably lost, and their youngster will be incapable of forging deep attachments as an adult.

Alan Smoufe, Professor of Child Psychology in the Institute of Child Development at the University of Minnesota writes in March/ April 2011 Psychotherapy Networker, “Another important implication of attachment research is that it’s possible to develop a secure state of mind as an adult, even in the face of a difficult childhood. Early experience influences later development, but it isn’t fate: therapeutic experiences can profoundly alter an individual’s life course.”

In an ideal situation, the journey of attachment progresses smoothly from birth through young adulthood, empowering the child to venture forth into her ever-expanding world with a solid sense of self.

But it’s never too late to nourish a strong attachment with your child, regardless of his or her age. I have even seen profound shifts in the parent/child bond when the “child” was an adult. While there is plenty of evidence that the first years of life are critical when it comes to attachment, healing is always an option, even in a child’s later years.

Here are some tips for fortifying attachment with children as they grow up.

18 months:

Attunement is the key when bonding with an infant or baby. By letting your toddler know that you are present with him and reading his signals accurately at least most of the time, he relaxes into the safety of your presence.

Physical contact is a very important element in deepening attachment; cuddling and snuggling continue to help regulate a young child’s nervous system.

Your soothing voice is powerfully comforting. Sing, recite poems, or simply allow your child to bathe in the cadence of your calm words to strengthen connection.

5 years:

Play helps attachment deepen. Running, hiding, chasing and laughing all contribute to a stronger sense of connection between you and your child.

Physical contact is important, but make sure that all of you is available. Splitting your attention between your child and your Blackberry is not the same as being fully present with your child for at least a little time each day.

Seek out your child’s company (when she isn’t demanding it) with an invitation to do something unexpected, like playing a game of checkers or heading to the park. When you generously seek one on one time with your youngster, she feels liked, cherished and nourished.

10 years:

• Initiate a project that reflects one of your child’s non-academic interests, like drawing, baking or making music. This lets her feel you are genuinely interested in who she is, and who she’s becoming.

• Tell your child what—specifically—you like, love or admire about them. “No one tells a joke the way you do, sweetheart”, or “I love how patient you are with the neighbor’s little kids.” When a child feels seen by you for qualities that have nothing to do with accomplishments or achievements, it strengthens attachment.

• Listen to your child, and acknowledge the message underneath his words. If he knows you understand his emotional ups and downs—and can hear what he’s going through without jumping in with lectures or advice– it makes him feel close to you.

15 years:

Surprise your teenager with an unexpected “hookie” day, going somewhere neither of you have ever been before. Sharing new experiences is a wonderful way to fortify connection.

Shift your conversations from lectures and advice-giving to asking your teen’s opinions and ideas about a newsworthy or controversial topic, giving them the sense that you are genuinely interested in what they think and believe.

Show your teen that you are her ally, rather than adversary. If there’s a behavior or academic issue, approach it by coming alongside her, rather than at her with unwanted suggestions or demands. By feeling you’re on her side—even when things are rough—she’ll feel naturally connected to you, even if there’s conflict below the surface.

20 years:

Ask your adult son or daughter how often they’d like to be in touch, and respect their wishes, keeping in mind that frequency will change—often rapidly—depending on what they’re going through at any given time.

Stay connected with text messages or short emails with news from home that help your young adult feel close to you without feeling suffocated with long phone calls.

Don’t take a young adult’s infrequent contact personally. Make sure he hears the warmth in your voice when you do talk, and knows that you’re there in the background if he needs an emotional lift, while trusting him to rely more on himself to get through life’s ups and downs.

Every child—regardless of their age—longs to have a healthy connection with their parent. It is never too late to work on developing a deep connection with your children. My mom and I have grown enormously closer in the last few years, and she is in her eighties! So don’t give up if things between you and your child feel distant or awkward. Take one step at a time toward fortifying attachment, and you will both be richly rewarded.

Susan Stiffelman is the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Connected, released in March, 2012 by Atria Books, a division of Simon and Schuster. Ms. Stiffelman is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child therapist, a K-9 credentialed teacher, an educational therapist and a sought after parenting coach. Her approach focuses on helping parents be the calm, confident “Captain of the ship” that children naturally want to cooperate with, confide in, and respect. Susan is the weekly staff parenting expert (“Parent Coach”) for the Huffington Post where her columns have garnered an international following. Susan weighs in on issues relevant to every age group and demographic, ranging from toddler meltdowns, tweens who sass back, and teens who may be struggling with depression or substance abuse.. Susan periodically offers articles for Psychology Today, Gaiam, More.com and other sites.

Teens and Sex

You cannot understand sexuality without first understanding the attachment dynamic, psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld explains. The pursuit of proximity is one of the primary emotions that drive our behavior. The main way that the immature seek proximity and closeness is through the senses – being physically close: the most primitive way of attaching.For having fun, erotic night you can visit this club for sexy male strippers.

Israeli parenting educator Shoshana Hayman continues on The Attached Family online magazine: Teens and Sex from an Attachment Perspective. Male topless waiters have always been a big source of entertainment and excitement for women at hen parties. Since all the stag and hen parties need to be filled with so much fun and fire, MagicMen topless waiters are one of the ways to fulfill this purpose. Hen parties are organized specially for the bride and hosted by either the bride or a friend a few days before the wedding. The purpose of this party is to allow the bride enjoy her last days as single and give her an opportunity to do something that would not prefer to, after her marriage. Before a woman gets married and starts a new life with her partner, hen parties are a great way to enjoy and remember the last day or night of freedom. Like every other party, there is always something special about hen parties. Just as the sexy women strippers are popular elements at the stag parties, handsome male topless waiters are highly in demand at hen dinners and parties. Become a topless waiter are the most important entertaining factors at such parties, where everyone wishes to have a lot of fun, play games, perform novel activities with some fire and make the whole night a very memorable one. One of the most popular ways is to hire male topless waiters who will be serving your guests. The hen party is usually thrown by the bride’s close friends and colleagues the night before the wedding. Hence, the excitement is even more as the bride-to-be looks to enjoy her last night before the wedding with her friends. These parties are becoming more and more common and people have get started here looking at various ways to entertain their guests. Live Jasmin is one of the oldest cam girl websites around. It connects people with models in real-time, allowing you to explore your erotic fantasies with the ladies of your taste. With this platform, you are guaranteed to get something to satisfy even the wildest sexual tastes. It doesn’t matter how crazy you think your fantasies or fetishes are livejasmin will connect you with someone who’ll exceed your expectations. Did you know that sex stories may be the answer to getting a good night’s sleep? Yup, that’s right sex stories. Sounds a heck of a lot better than Valium or elephant sized doses of sleepy time tea, doesn’t it? Sex has been proven to be a great sleep inducer and spicing up your sex life with sex stories can be a big help in getting the sleep you need. There is no argument that the restorative powers of sleep are needed for a healthy and happy lifestyle. Sex stories can help add to your sex life making the sex better as well as your sleep. Not sleeping can be dangerous to your health, but using sex stories as a sex aid can help stem off the negative stimuli that causes us not to be able to sleep. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation can bring on serious disease such as dementia and Parkinson’s disease. Not to mention how it can generally mess up other things in your life like your work, family life relationships, etc. The key is to wind your body and brain down just before bed and sex is the perfect way to do that. Using sex stories can put your in the mood to have sex by exciting your mind and helping to reach a better and more satisfying orgasm. That is what puts you to sleep, the release. Some may argue that reading sex stories would get your brain too excited and may not be the best way to get a good night’s slumber. Not true. As mentioned before, it’s the release in sex that brings the mind and body down into a restful satisfied state more conducive to deep sleep. Excitement before bed such as action movies or going for a jog or other exercise have negative effects on your sleep because the endorphin build up stimulates your brain without the benefit of release. This is what causes your brain to work overtime and diminishes your ability to fall asleep. Sex stories definitely have a nice dual effect don’t they? Spicing up your sex life while enjoying a restful night’s sleep should sound pretty good to just about anyone! Sleep is so important to your health, so is sex, so this sleep remedy is a real winner! Sure is a lot more attractive than trips to the doctor, pharmacy or the health food store.

When having so many beautiful and young women around, the best possible entertainment can only be men! The fun gets even better if they are going to be serving the guests with their handsome and dashing looks. To make it more exciting, these men waiters serve the guests topless, showing off their strong and attractive physique! The trend of throwing hen parties has grown increasingly popular amongst the younger generation. Their tastes and preferences are also very high and they do not wish to settle for anything below average. They are very specific with their demands and want only attractive men with charming attitude, a pleasant demeanor and a strong physique. These male topless waiters are also highly in demand especially if they are singers, dancers or comedians. People are looking for a complete entertainment package as they spend a sizable amount of money on such events and parties. It is no surprise that male topless waiters are the best source to attract the attention of female guests at a hen party! It is indeed the most thrilling way to fire up a party! Is there anything wrong with women wanting a hens night? Absolutely not! A hens party is considered the last event the women has to really let her hair down and be set free before she ties the knot. There is more and more talk about women wanting to hit the top of Corporate Organizations, sit on Boards or just be seen on the same level as men. A Hens do allows the bride to be number one, bet at the top of her helm and truly bring out her inner self. A hen party can be naughty or nice. The controlling women (or should I say Bridezillas!) will organize the party themselves but really a hens event should be organized by the bridesmaids, the ladies/men (more and more brides are having men in their bridal party these days) the bride has entrusted to help her make it to the big day! Bridesmaids should know the Bride back to front so anything arranged should not leave the bride disgruntled and upset but instead over the moon from having had the night of her life. That’s why women want a hens! They want to remember their last night of freedom! Remember a hens night does not need to be out of control. If the bride would like a subdued last free night then you can give her one.

Also, learn why it’s important to help your kids foster friendships with this article from editor Rita Brhel at Why It’s Important to Help Children Make Friends.

Sex is an important part of being human. It involves more than the physical act of intercourse with another person. It affects how we feel about ourselves as males and females and impacts important choices we make as men and women.What you think about sex may seem clear and straightforward. But when it comes to laying the groundwork to help your kids develop a healthy understanding of sex, having that conversation can feel overwhelming. When your child is in middle school (if not earlier), you’re bound to start getting questions, which they’re probably also discussing with their friends. And since they’re going to be gathering information, it’s best that it’s accurate and that it comes from you.

Why Should I Talk to My Kids About Sex?

The question should be, why shouldn’t you? Talking with your child about sex is important to help him or her develop healthy attitudes toward sex and to learn responsible sexual behavior. Openly discussing sex with your child will enable you to provide accurate information. What they learn elsewhere might not be true and might not reflect the personal and moral values and principles you want your children to follow. You need your preteen or teen to understand the possible consequences of being sexually active — including pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and all of the emotional trappings that come with being part of a sexual relationship. Teenagers also need to learn that some conditions like erectile dysfunction are also normal, find the better treatments at msinsight.dk

If I Talk to My Kids About Sex, Won’t That Just Make Them Want to Do It?

It’s important for children to understand sexual feelings and relationships before they become sexually active. Studies show that teens who have discussed sex with their parents are more likely to wait longer to begin having sex and more likely to use contraception when they do.

The fluidity of sleeping arrangements

When my kids were younger, there wasn’t much question about sleeping arrangements: the babies slept with us. As they got a bit older, they moved onto a smaller bed I built where the mattress was exactly the same height as our big bed (we called it the “sidecar”) and then even older, maybe two or so, on a mattress on the floor in our room. Now that my youngest is 7 and oldest is 14, however, I’m surprised at how fluid our sleeping arrangements have become.

The youngest still likes to curl up with me and fall asleep knowing that she’s safe and protected, and frankly I’m not quite ready to get to the stage of my kids all being independent and done with reading books, whispered conversations and my singing them to sleep either. Still, she has her own room, and once she’s asleep, she knows that I’ll move her there, safely ensconced in her bed and surrounded by favorite stuffies.

If we have had a relatively calm day, the older two (A-, 14 and G-, 10) generally share sleeping quarters in one of their rooms, but if they’re freaked out by something (like us watching a scary show or a creepy book) they might end up taking over the floor of my room.

This random sleeping used to drive me a bit bonkers, truth be told, as I’m the kind of person who finds order and predictability comforting and when I never really knew who was going to sleep where, well, it caused some tension. Then I just … let go.

So in my house, who sleeps where seems a bit more fluid than in most houses, but as an attachment parent, I feel like it’s a blessing for me to be able to let them decide where they want to sleep and a very positive sign that they find it safer to be sleeping with me than otherwise, even as teens (well, a teen and a teen wannabe). 🙂

How about at your house? What’s your sleeping arrangement like on a typical evening?

The Room of a Teenage Boy

The sign on the door was hardly welcoming. It read, “Warning! Restricted Area. No Trespassing. Use of Deadly Force Authorized!”

I was invited in. The younger siblings in the house tried to prepare me before entry, thinking I’d be taken aback at their brother’s taste in décor. It was a small room. The walls were painted the color of a cloudless blue sky on a summer’s day. However, only thin strips of blue paint were showing between the larger-than-life sized posters of Led Zeppelin and the Bratz.

The dresser on one wall held an impressive stereo and a stand of CDs that included a variety of discs from rock to blues. A guitar leaned against the dresser. It was easy to imagine listening to Led Zeppelin at full volume, with guitar in hand, feeling yourself part of the spike-haired, ominous-looking group of musicians looking out from the posters on the wall. Teen rooms should have several comfortably organized areas: a sleeping one, a study one, a hangout if possible and of course, the storage should be organized at its best, with all the possible creative Storage Solutions. First of all, define the style of the room: industrial, vintage, modern or any other that your teen boy likes. This unique clock will be a great modern addition to a teenager’s bedroom. Each piece attaches separately and different colors are available to match any decor. Upscale your kid’s room while keeping it with a theme he loves! Dutch Antiques have a good sort of antique clocks, antique barometers, scientific instruments, steam engines and other interesting antique items purchasable .When your clock has missing parts, you’ll calculate us handy craft the replacement to suit its original age and elegance . Additionally, our clock maker’s experience and our extensive library of resources allow us to take care of that authenticity. For barometers, on the opposite hand, their workshop features a range of parts for replacement or restoration. They also restore painted dials and cabinets once you need us to. Clock repair perth and restorations Specializing in full restoration of movement, dial, case, woodwork and brass work.

Boy’s furniture is extremely functional. It’s one among the few necessary items in these rooms. this might mean that it’s really the sole style that your son really allows you to bring into the space. this is often why it’s really important to seek out one with a trendy so you would like to form a press release together with your furniture. This might really be the sole decorating decision that you simply got to make. Here are all different sorts of choices available at toildrop woodworking that you simply can bring this type of room to actually add a really specific design style.

Wood may be a very quite traditional material for this space. it’s a touch little bit of a masculine feel thereto . the sort of wood that you simply accompany is basically getting to dictate the general feeling of the space. as an example if you’ve got an oak desk it can feel traditional or maybe country. an alternative choice would be to travel with pine. this is often quite inexpensive and it really doesn’t have tons of grain thereto . you’ll be rustic or simply a touch bit minimalist counting on how you decorate the remainder of the space . A darker stain finish are often how to feature a touch bit more sophistication to the present quite space without being too feminine.

The opposite wall held two shelves of books about baseball and several trophies won at little league games. And if you are finding that you have too much stock or equipment then a great tip is to use some business self-storage as it’s a cheap and reliable way of storing business stock. I suddenly recalled that at the assembly at the end of his seventh-grade year, this boy gave a talk about the lessons of morality that can be learned from the rules of baseball.

A large poster with a picture of Albert Einstein hung among the posters. Alongside Einstein’s image were his profound and thought-provoking quotations about life and the universe. Behind the door was another bookcase that held a Bible, a prayer book, and several books about philosophy and religion.

If I could change the sign on the door to this room, I’d hang one that reads, “Maturation Unfolding. Occupant is in the Vital Process of Integration. Please Enter with Respect and Honor.” Israeli parenting educator Shoshana Hayman explains….

Traveling with Kids is Hard Work!

Traveling with three younger children as a single dad? Darn hard. But maybe I’m making it harder than it has to be. Do you have any advice?

Stockholm, the capital city of Sweden is a beautiful fusion of old and new. Not only that, but the Swedes also incorporated lush greenery amidst all these. You are in for a lot of pleasant surprises when you travel to this well-known tourist destination.

Worried that Stockholm may be too much for your budget…that is understandable but here are some of the delightful things and must-dos in Stockholm, all for free! Yes, you read it right. There are a lot of free places to go to and enjoy while in Stockholm. For a more better experience while in Stockholm, You can also engage with free tour Stockholm to get a experienced guide.

I’m a single dad. In fact, I think I’m the only single dad who contributes to the API Speaks blog. That’s why I’m asking for your advice, dear reader. I have three delightful kids, a 13yo girl, 10yo boy and a 6yo girl, and while I like traveling with them to the Banyan Thailand Resort in Hua Hin, it’s extremely hard.

We just got back from a week in Stockholm and I had the foresight to invite my sister to join us, so the room configuration at the hotel was her + my 13yo in one room, and me and the two younger children in another. Not too bad, but since I don’t have the $$ to just get a beautiful two-room suite, there’s really no way that we can’t end up on top of each other.

They’re great travelers – the two older each have a solo flight under their belts too! – but when we get to a destination, it just seems extraordinarily hard to find something to do that meets all their needs. At home, of course, we have friends who can either join us or to whom one of the kids can duck out rather than go somewhere they don’t like, but on the road, there’s no “plan b”, no-one else to help out. I know that I have great options with all included like a luxury accommodation Fiji, and they have great prices too, but still it is a bit expensive for a single dad of 3.

So my question to you: how do you deal with travel logistics? How do you retain your sanity? And, most of all, if you’re a single parent, do you travel at all, and if so, what tricks and strategies have you found that help maximize the fun and minimize the arguments, fighting and unhappiness?