"Mommy, Play with me!"

I was wondering what other moms do in this situation. I have an almost 4y/o who just got a new baby sister- 4 mo. She still sleeps a lot in the morning so my son and I still have most of our morning ritual in tact- playing together and such. I have made it clear in the mornings I have to feed the baby,pump and eat breakfast before I can do much else with him. He gets that for the most part. I am finding that his demands are suffocating me. That my needs and rights at times are getting pushed to the back burner. And by rights I mean the right to eat and go to the bathroom. He says a lot to me "Mommy, play with me" I find if I make the time in the morning to do so it fills his cup so to speak. Sometimes I need a break to do things I want to do and sometimes there are the things I have to do.
I feel guilty about his lifestyle changing and I think sometimes that is what is causing problems. I find myself saying, "I have the right to have time to myself, to eat"etc. I don't allow him to watch TV, which would probably make life easier if I did but it is against my values. SO how have some of you coped with a situation like this?

Here are some responses to this post from the Facebook page:

1. I think it's healthy that they understand that parents (and others) need some personal space and that they learn to play alone and entertain themselves at times.

2. for us there has to be a balance. I have three children and sometimes they have to wait and I have to tell them to wait. They also understand that I need time too, like to get a full shower or when I get a call. Of course I try to arrange life to their schedule and mold myself to what is best for them but reality is never the ideal.

3. You have to get a babysitter once in a while. After 2 hours away, you come back and you are (again) an amazing, happy, rested, fulfilled mother.

4. I have six boys - they are demanding on the mom, and need to be taught limits - or they will run over everyone they meet. So much patience is needed sometimes. I pray a lot for it. Also it helps if other adults reinforce the respect and space needed to balance you. Some do need more social interaction than I need - I try to help them find this. My husband has to be reminded every so often to teach them by example.

5. a quality preschool?

6. My daughters ( 3yrs and 9 months) don't really play together yet. My 3 year old was also very demanding of my time including laying down with her for naps. Once she started going to preschool, she learned how to play by herself. She plays a lot more independently these days.

7. My go-tos : playdough, a bucket of pinto beans with scoops and bowls, bowls of water on the floor with towels underneath with scoops, spoons, and cups, a spray bottle filled with clear water and a clean rag and one of my faves - SWIFFERS! YES - there are beans to be swept, play dough to pick up, puddles to dry (I get a clean spot on the floor as a reward!) but I also get to cook dinner, clean dishes and fold the laundry without little people underfoot.

8. Mornings at a high quality kindergarten worked for us at that stage, mine loved it (not initially I might add) and did so many amazing things - speaking in front of a group, making stories, rock walk climbing !.. I believe 'Mummy play with me' = i've grown out of my routine, and am a bit bored.

9. Thanks for posting this. I am looking for solutions too for my 2 year old dd. She loves playdough but wants me to entertain her most of the time as well. I am expecting #2 in January and would like ther to be more independent.

10. What I do with my 8, 5, and two year old( all who are home with me all day bec we homeschool) is I have them do the house work with me and we make it fun! Folding laundry, dishes, vacuuming, are all great times to"play" with your kids! It's entertaining, and you get your work done, with help!!

11. I sent my child to preschool. It has benefitted his development to be with other kids.

12. Sounds like a normal child to me! lol. I get up before my girls (5 years and 21 months) to shower. I'm in the shower before 6:30am so it's not like I get up before the sun does. Having another child really brought my eldest down to earth. She spends far less time in my face now and prefers to play on her own in her room. She still has her moments when she is tired or hasn't left the house all day but I see that as acceptable. As for going to the toilet alone I have told my eldest that I don't annoy her when she goes to the toilet so please don't annoy me. It works! I started this just after she turned 4 and she doesn't feel the need to shadow me all day. I think it also depends on the child. My eldest wasn't a social child before 3 but my youngest copes really well.

13. Sounds like the perfect time to start teaching him to recognize other people's needs. Model it yourself. Ask dad to model it. Role play it with him. Explain your needs to him & let him explain his needs to you. Work together to find a compromise that meets *both of your needs*. It's so exciting when they're ready to learn at the next level!

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