Worn out. Ready to throw in the towel.

mumtoone

Junior Forum Member
- Join Date: May 2008
- Posts: 101
Worn out. Ready to throw in the towel.

#1

02-08-2010, 01:55 PM

I am really at the end of my rope. I am yelling and getting angry.... not like me at all. I am so worn out I have ulcers and keep forgetting that I have done things. I am exhausted.

DS is right in the middle of 2YO separation anxiety. He wants to have mum milk CONSTANTLY. He is also very combative and trying to get attention through bad behavior.
DD is just about six months and also going through a sep anxiety stage. She is so terribly clingy, wanting to feed constantly. Waking every hour all night. Not settling for anyone but me and not even liking to be held by anyone but me.

There is only one of me to go around and two children who want nothing less than all of me 24/7. I need a break. I really, really need a break. It takes up to an hour EVERY TIME I put DD down for a sleep (she wont sleep in a wrap or sling unfortunately) and then she only sleeps for fifteen min! The moment I am done getting her down DS wants me on the couch to feed him. Then she wakes up and needs me to carry her from room to room.... constantly. DS the whole time hanging off my leg begging for more milk. I feel like I spend all my time at the moment telling him not to do things and to just wait.

I have attempted to leave them with DH. DS is alright as long as its not for too long. DD on the other hand is not interested in dads cuddles and just screams the whole time. Proper scared crying with tears. She gets so upset that I really cannot just ignore it.

I am writing this in tears and I have never been so tired in my life. I am so run down I have a constant cold and keep picking up other bugs too. I am seriously close to letting DD CIO. But the thought makes me cry. But I dont know what else to do. (great, now I'm crying again).

I am miserable and wish I could go back in time.
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mommypower

API Member
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Posts: 129
#2

02-08-2010, 04:44 PM

Oh I am sending you a ton of love and support you sounds like you really really need it right now! I don't have any magic answers or solutions for you. All I know is that when I am there as I have been and I think a lot of mom's have, I just remember that somehow I got to where I am today which means I survived the really tough times and they didn't get the best of me. So you will survive this time too! Does your DD like the sling for going around during the day. Just a suggestion something that helped me was to take walks, toss DD in the sling and leave DS with DH and just get some fresh air. It you live in the North like me with all this snow I just bundle up really well and 5-10 min. is all I get sometimes but the fresh air and quite white noise of the outside really seems to help. The vitamin D helps out a lot too.

Remember to breath and I was just reading in "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" that 15min. of special time with toddlers can really help increase their ability to handle the days upsets with less "upset" He suggests 15min. that DS would get to pick what you do and DD can hang out with Daddy (maybe they can walk - I know the fresh air improved my daughter's mood 150%, it's like a miracle drug for her we open the door and step out and I get a whole new child).
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PaxMamma

Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1707
#3

02-08-2010, 06:07 PM

s hang in there, mama! you will make it through this!
as for the immediate needs, you need a break, even if just for 20-30 min. when dh gets home, take a break, probably a much-needed nap. can he drive them around for half hour so that you can nap?
for the long-term, what does your day look like? do you have some sort of organization? do you leave the house? it sounds like your oldest may need more to do and your youngest could benefit from that as well. a flexible structure can really help to settle little ones.
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apmommy

Junior Forum Member
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Posts: 112
#4

02-11-2010, 10:25 AM

Yes, we have all been there. I remember when mine were little and wanted me and to nurse all the time. What helped me was to realize that the more I tried to get away from them, the more upset and anxious they became, and the more clingy, demanding they became. I focused on becoming calm and peaceful, imagining all of our needs were already met. I would nurse them and coo to them and tell them how much I loved them. It got to the point where my oldest would say "I KNOW!!" when I would tell her I loved her. lol.......

I also agree that one-on-one time helps children immensely, as does outside time. We are fortunate to live in FL so we are outside everyday. I just sit in a chair with my coffee quite often and watch them play.

Please let us know how you are doing. I wish I could hug away your tears. You are a good mama who knows what she wants for herself and her kids.
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mumtoone

Junior Forum Member
- Join Date: May 2008
- Posts: 101
#5

02-11-2010, 06:21 PM

Thank you for your kind words. I am feeling much better now. It was one of those moments where I was about to explode and rather than doing it at the children I unloaded on here. You are all great.

When DH got home from work I had the children fed and ready to go and sent the three of them to the grocery store. I told DH that if DD got upset that it was OK to bring her home but to stay out of not. I got an hour and a half to have a shower and recharge myself. It was great.

I am still exhausted but in a better frame of mind, which always helps.

Thanks again for being a safe place to dump emotions.
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