Balance is the issue I struggle with most as an attached family...I know that I do not do enough in taking care of myself. But every time I try to take a step towards taking better care of myself, I feel guilty for not spending that time with my kids! (or I just don't do it because the effects on my kids are too detrimental for my taste) For example...
I love working out. I love how I feel afterwards, and I love having a little bit of time to myself to just listen to music and let my thoughts wander. We belong to a healthclub which has a daycare, but my kids do not enjoy the daycare. They tolerate it. But recently, my son (almost 3) has been crying as soon as we turn into the parking lot, saying he doesn't want to go, he wants to stay with me, he wants to go to the library, to the park...many other things except, "Not you go exercise!"
So I do my best active listening, repeat back to him his thoughts, concerns & feelings & try to get him calmed down. But when he doesn't calm down, and only gets more and more upset about having to go into the daycare, I feel the best thing is to honor his feelings and we end up leaving and going to do something else. I figure, since this is a recent development, he must be going through something and feeling extra emotional and needing to be with me. Then I try to find time in the evenings ro weekends to go actually get my exercising done, but it never works out as often as I'd like.
I would also like to find more time to do my own work and personal projects. It seems that I spend A LOT of time tending to my kids' needs during the day, so that when I do have time in the evenings after they go to bed I need to catch up on all the housework I didn't get done during the day. Then I spend time with my husband, then go to bed. But sometimes I think that if my kids could just be a little less dependent on me during the day, I could get chores done, so I could have my evening time to fill my "mental stimulation cup". Getting up early doesn't work since my kids are erarly risers anyway, plus they hear me and end up getting up whenever I do!
Sometimes I feel like I'm TOO responsive to them and now they expect me to be available to them at the drop of the hat! Of course, I am always available to them...but not always, know what I mean?
I just met a mom the other day who's fourth child is just 2 months old, and she's getting back into her business that she started when she had 3 young kids and pregnant with her 4th. And I just wonder why I can't find the time to do things for myself with my 2 kids (the youngest of which is nearly 3)? Her kids are all confident, kind, close with their parents, but much more self-sufficient, and they just kind of "go with the flow" when mom's available and when she's not. There must be a way, right?
There must be a way to say "when" to my kids. When I need some time...when I need to do something for myself. But I don't know how! Or when it's appropriate, or how not to feel guilty!
I just thought I'd see what the moms here had to say about this topic!
I love working out. I love how I feel afterwards, and I love having a little bit of time to myself to just listen to music and let my thoughts wander. We belong to a healthclub which has a daycare, but my kids do not enjoy the daycare. They tolerate it. But recently, my son (almost 3) has been crying as soon as we turn into the parking lot, saying he doesn't want to go, he wants to stay with me, he wants to go to the library, to the park...many other things except, "Not you go exercise!"
So I do my best active listening, repeat back to him his thoughts, concerns & feelings & try to get him calmed down. But when he doesn't calm down, and only gets more and more upset about having to go into the daycare, I feel the best thing is to honor his feelings and we end up leaving and going to do something else. I figure, since this is a recent development, he must be going through something and feeling extra emotional and needing to be with me. Then I try to find time in the evenings ro weekends to go actually get my exercising done, but it never works out as often as I'd like.
I would also like to find more time to do my own work and personal projects. It seems that I spend A LOT of time tending to my kids' needs during the day, so that when I do have time in the evenings after they go to bed I need to catch up on all the housework I didn't get done during the day. Then I spend time with my husband, then go to bed. But sometimes I think that if my kids could just be a little less dependent on me during the day, I could get chores done, so I could have my evening time to fill my "mental stimulation cup". Getting up early doesn't work since my kids are erarly risers anyway, plus they hear me and end up getting up whenever I do!
Sometimes I feel like I'm TOO responsive to them and now they expect me to be available to them at the drop of the hat! Of course, I am always available to them...but not always, know what I mean?
I just met a mom the other day who's fourth child is just 2 months old, and she's getting back into her business that she started when she had 3 young kids and pregnant with her 4th. And I just wonder why I can't find the time to do things for myself with my 2 kids (the youngest of which is nearly 3)? Her kids are all confident, kind, close with their parents, but much more self-sufficient, and they just kind of "go with the flow" when mom's available and when she's not. There must be a way, right?
There must be a way to say "when" to my kids. When I need some time...when I need to do something for myself. But I don't know how! Or when it's appropriate, or how not to feel guilty!
I just thought I'd see what the moms here had to say about this topic!
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