So I have this on going issue with the way my husband responds when our 6 1/2 year old son gets angry...
For instance, the other day, our son became angry because he became frustrated while I was trying to help with his homework. He groaned and stomped up to his room to be alone. My husband wasn't home at the time. I allowed our son to be alone for a bit, then I went to talk to him.
Later, when my husband came home, and I told him what happened, he said, "Well, if I was here he would have gotten a spanking!" He thinks all my Attachment Parenting is making our son too soft!
Anyway, I hate when he threatens to spank. He has only actually spanked our son twice. Both times our son was having temper tantrums due to being over tired or provoked. I was present for both occasions, but couldn't stop the spankings.
Most of the time, if I sense my husband brewing up for a spanking, I remove the kids as far away as possible. I've explained to our sons that while I was spanked as a child, I don't believe it is the best solution to the problem. It might seem to work well when the kids are little, but it wont last when they get bigger.
Anyway, I told my husband that I thought our son's way of dealing with anger was appropriate. I get angry. He gets angry. We yell. We stomp our feet. We want to be alone. So why shouldn't we let him behave this way. How should he behave?
Why is it that so many grown ups expect children to never be angry? Why to they want to spank and punish them for being angry?
Don't kids have a right to be angry or frustrated?
How do your kids deal with anger?
How do you handle it when your kids get angry?
For instance, the other day, our son became angry because he became frustrated while I was trying to help with his homework. He groaned and stomped up to his room to be alone. My husband wasn't home at the time. I allowed our son to be alone for a bit, then I went to talk to him.
Later, when my husband came home, and I told him what happened, he said, "Well, if I was here he would have gotten a spanking!" He thinks all my Attachment Parenting is making our son too soft!
Anyway, I hate when he threatens to spank. He has only actually spanked our son twice. Both times our son was having temper tantrums due to being over tired or provoked. I was present for both occasions, but couldn't stop the spankings.
Most of the time, if I sense my husband brewing up for a spanking, I remove the kids as far away as possible. I've explained to our sons that while I was spanked as a child, I don't believe it is the best solution to the problem. It might seem to work well when the kids are little, but it wont last when they get bigger.
Anyway, I told my husband that I thought our son's way of dealing with anger was appropriate. I get angry. He gets angry. We yell. We stomp our feet. We want to be alone. So why shouldn't we let him behave this way. How should he behave?
Why is it that so many grown ups expect children to never be angry? Why to they want to spank and punish them for being angry?
Don't kids have a right to be angry or frustrated?
How do your kids deal with anger?
How do you handle it when your kids get angry?

wow, that would be really tough being so misaligned w/your spouse about parenting. i'm sorry you are in such a rough spot. i don't know that i have the answers for why people don't let kids have expressed anger, but i'm guessing that it has a lot to do w/the fact that their own childhood anger was repressed.
Great advice.
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