I am a mature mum to a three and almost half year old girl. I tried my best to AP in the way I felt, BF, BW, Co-sleeping, and all.
One issue is that since three, I have actually felt quite burned out. Don't have any family around, have money worries and my partner and have many tensions. I have found the slightly more challenging behaviour/just engaging as much quite challenging. Also feel bored fairly often, and feel very worried and ashamed. I don't think I have said or nothing anything particularly mean, but I know she will pick up on my feelings.
But, we were muddling along without any major troubles. Until now. My partner stayed home for xmas, he doesn't like my family much and he has also just lost his job. I went with daughter to stay with family up north for a fortnight.
There are some tricky issues with my family too. Fairly calm at my mum's, although her partner is someone I would not trust to be alone with my daughter. But my sister is severely stressed and has her own issues. Basically the communications there tend to be quite violent in tone and there is also some physical bullying between her sons.
My daughter adores her older cousin, who always previously played beautifully with her, and they had great fun. This time, he was very nasty to her, and also bullying. I had to try not to get my sister defensive, but couldn't always say nothing. and he is not open to any kind or thoughtful dialogue - he would just tell me to eff off, (and he is only 6). I actually felt hatred for him and that was hard to take.
Basically, since we came home a week ago, my daughter has been hitting me and her dad, shouting, slamming doors, is rude and demanding. i know she was hurt by how her cousin treated her, and also witnessed some apalling behaviour. i still feel shocked myself by it all.
but i don't know how to help her. i tried just stepping away (not AP, I'm sure). i tried telling her no. i tried saying we don't hit each other here. i tried talking to her about what happened and saying i was upset too, although i don't even know how much or often it is appropriate to say.
i know i'm not getting it right. i really need some help to get it better.
Please, if anyone can help us.
thanks so much for reading