Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking....

PaxMamma

Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1708
Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking....

#1

04-10-2008, 12:17 PM

has anyone here been able to successfully explain the concept of time to their child? ds2 will be 5 in may and we are having major meltdowns. for example, we have to be at school at 8:30, which means we need to be walking out the door at 8:15. he LOVES school and is excited to go, but he wants to go at his own schedule. he doesn't know why we can't just go whenever we feel like it. etc, etc, etc. the thing is, he gets really mad at ME, like i'm the one propelling the earth around the sun!

we've played w/clocks and gone to the museum to watch the planets move and i've explained how that's what time is, i've told him i don't make stores close or the moon come out, but we are still having major struggles daily. anyone been more successful than me?
Tags: None

PaxMamma

Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1708
#2

04-11-2008, 07:32 PM

bumping along
Comment

melissa_h

Technology Coordinator
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1727
#3

04-11-2008, 09:03 PM

like i'm the one propelling the earth around the sun!

This just had me laughing, oh momma I can SO relate!! My 4.5 year old has no clue about time, doesn't understand today, tomorrow, yesterday etc so I haven't even begun that journey.

My 6.5 year old gets it, now. Back then he didn't. He still has meltdowns when it is time to leave but that is a different story hehe. Anyhow what we did with him was give him his own digital clock as he loves numbers. So we told him "when the clock says 8 - 1 - 5 it is time to walk out the door." It worked because he's a rules kind of kid - if he thinks something is a rule then he just doesn't question it. This comes in handy sometimes, and other times it doesn't.

Does he have his own clock? If he doesn't, perhaps you can make a special trip to the store - just the two of you - for him to pick out his own clock. Perhaps if he's involved in that he'll be more motivated to go when it is time to go.

Good luck!
Comment

PaxMamma

Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1708
#4

04-11-2008, 09:09 PM

thanks, melissa! i think part of the problem may be that he sees me setting the timer, for cooking and other things, like he's supposed to chew gum for 10 min. every day. anyway, i think this gives him the idea that *I* move time and that any time-related activities are arbitrarily manipulated by me! i know that part of it is transition and another part is developmental. i guess i was just hoping that some genius had come up w/the perfect way to explain it to a kiddo.

i'm thinking that part of what needs to change, too, is me. for instance, on the way to the car, he may stop, look around, ask questions about the weather, stop to look at the tires, etc. all he's doing is "smelling the roses". i should try to do that w/him more.
Comment

LisaS

Junior Forum Member

Junior Forum Member
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Posts: 124
#5

04-11-2008, 10:10 PM

We set the timer on the microwave to signal the transition from one morning activity to another. This was dd2's idea one morning, about a year or so ago, when I was explaining how much time we had before we needed to leave the house. I guess she was so used to hearing the timer to remind me of things that she naturally thought it was what was supposed to happen. We set it to signal the end of breakfast, time to brush teeth, put shoes on, etc. It works for us...for now.
Comment

PaxMamma

Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1708
#6

04-12-2008, 06:31 AM

thanks for the suggestion. i've tried this a few times, but the ringing of the timer sometimes freaks him out, and again, it feels like to him that I"M the one making time pass, I"M in control of time and i set arbitrary times for things like school starting, church starting, etc.

i've done the "warnings" like '5 min. to get dressed', 2 more min to brush teeth, but he just screams at me STOP TELLING ME THE TIME! so then i've had days where i say, 'you know we have school and you know what to do. i won't tell you what to do, but we'll be leaving here at 8;15. so what happens is, it's 8;15, he's not dressed, no breakfast, we have to go and he's screaming at me again. grrrr...
Comment

harmonicker

Senior Forum Member
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 576
#7

04-12-2008, 07:27 AM

picture sequencing come to mind here Dedra..
picture with the steps with the times and a analog clock drawing of the time on the picture for each step

or the clock with the disappearing red block

bw's
Comment

PaxMamma

Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1708
#8

04-12-2008, 07:30 AM

that's a good idea. and, i'm always touting social stories to other people, perhaps i should do one here, too.
Comment

mystique

New Forum Member
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Posts: 4
#9

04-12-2008, 03:58 PM

time telling

http://happy.cirtexhosting.com/~idea...e5847c4183e691

This clip teaches the time zones and why we have time zones. Sometimes I find that having someone else explain time works well since it is not coming from me. It also seems like your son has developed an aversion to actual time telling so replace the numbers with something he does like. It may be hard but you can come up with your own time telling scheme that works for him until he learns how to tell real time.

With my twin girls I find myself having to say, do you want to hop to the car like a bunny or do you want me to chase you and then we end up getting there quickly and we get where we are going on time. If I just say it is time to go, or clean up, or eat I get nothing but if I make everything a game we get it done. I do all the time things you mentioned too which I think are all good.
Comment

Piol

New Forum Member
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 38
#10

04-12-2008, 04:26 PM

One thing I always try to think about when problems of cooperation comes along, is to fing my very true and real reason for why I need the cooperation.

Why is it important to get to school on time? Will it be possible to come late and let him experience the feeling of getting in late? If not - why? If you have a good reason, and explain him that reason in a simple manner, chances are that he may get it...

When I try the "I really need/want to(...) because(...)It would help me a lot if you would be willing to(...)" - it works surprisingly often.
Comment

PaxMamma

Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1708
#11

04-12-2008, 04:57 PM

When I try the "I really need/want to(...) because(...)It would help me a lot if you would be willing to(...)" - it works surprisingly often.

we absolutely practice NVC here. sometimes it works, sometimes not. in fact, we've been so good at it, i often get back "well, i really need to keep playing my game because i like it and i just don't want to go to school right now." the reason why school is important to be on time to is b/c i teacher there, too, and am expected at 8:30. i've allowed him to go to school in his pajamas and eating breakfast in the car, but those things don't really seem to phase him. i've gotten him up early to allow for as much time as he can possibly have in the mornings.

thanks for all the suggestions! keep them coming!
Comment

Piol

New Forum Member
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 38
#12

04-13-2008, 11:07 AM

When it comes to nvc - my suggestion was not so much to use the nvc"language". I thought more of the content - I belive that much of the reason behind the behaviours you are describing is a non-mature sence of empathy. Young children will need a lot of time and love before we can expect them to really empatise with others fully. But I do belive that they are much more capable of this than most (I am not saying this applies to you) give them credit for. So my suggestion to you was not so much to use nvc, but talking to him about reasons that are real and true for you, and that may appeal to his sence of emapthy. If you talk about beeing in time for work - that may be of no meaning to him. But if there is a classroom full of unattended children waiting for you - because he wants to play longer - that may touch him. I do belive that these situations can be wonderful opportunities for an real life empathy lesson...

Last edited by Piol; 04-13-2008, 11:30 AM.
Comment

PaxMamma

Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 1708
#13

04-13-2008, 11:47 AM

Originally posted by Piol View Post

When it comes to nvc - my suggestion was not so much to use the nvc"language". I thought more of the content - I belive that much of the reason behind the behaviours you are describing is a non-mature sence of empathy. Young children will need a lot of time and love before we can expect them to really empatise with others fully. But I do belive that they are much more capable of this than most (I am not saying this applies to you) give them credit for. So my suggestion to you was not so much to use nvc, but talking to him about reasons that are real and true for you, and that may appeal to his sence of emapthy. If you talk about beeing in time for work - that may be of no meaning to him. But if there is a classroom full of unattended children waiting for you - because he wants to play longer - that may touch him. I do belive that these situations can be wonderful opportunities for an real life empathy lesson...

THANK YOU!! i really like how you explained this. my son is intensely empathetic, more so than most humans i know, but he also is one who needs reason. i hadn't thought of the 'unattended children' aspect. this really teaches me to get beyond *my* reasons, and to think a little more globally. i am learning a lot from ALL of your posts, btw.
Comment

LisaS

Junior Forum Member

Junior Forum Member
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Posts: 124
#14

04-14-2008, 01:35 AM

Originally posted by harmonicker View Post

picture sequencing come to mind here Dedra..
picture with the steps with the times and a analog clock drawing of the time on the picture for each step

or the clock with the disappearing red block

bw's

Thanks for the idea! I'll have to file this one away to begin working on a little later!
Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment