Wow! My daughter is the same age. We haven't experienced anything that intense. She did get frightened by dad the other day - he was playing with her in the usual way, making faces or something, and for some reason she was scared by it and cried for a while. She went from me to him, though, and allowed him to soothe her.

I'm reading Playful Parenting right now and it has some good ideas for coping with fear.

I'm imagining a scared, frightened child being tenderly comforted by her loving momma -- heart-warming!

i don't have easy access to THE BABY BOOK right now, but i just recently looked it up for another group member and i believe that this is the exact stage where fears can pop up. it's not that you're doing anything wrong, more like your child is becoming more aware of environmental changes and starting to separate herself from the world around her. does that make sense? i will try to check TBB when i get a chance.

yes that makes complete sense! I'll check my Baby Book and see what Dr. Sears says.

And Playful Parenting is on my list of books I just wasn't sure if it was age appropriate yet. I'll have to order it now I guess.

Our son is 19 months old, and I don't think we've experienced something just like that.... but I do remember though that one time my husband sneezed really loud, and it scared him really bad. I wonder if it's something along the same lines as stranger anxiety? I know that our son is VERY clingy around people he is not sure of or even relatives he hasn't seen in a while. I kind of like it though because I know he doesn't just trust everyone without getting to know them first through me or my husband. I wonder though if the new toy/sounds/etc maybe were startling like along the same lines as a new person would be (stranger anxiety).

yep, around 18 months is when my ds discovered fear. He was petrified of any sort of bug, fly, bee, etc. He called them all bee's and would seriously flip out about them. It thankfully was a fairly short lived phase!

That is SO funny about calling them all "bees" because that is what our son does too! Unless it's a caterpillar or worm. I'm trying to teach him what a beetle looks like, but I think "bee" is easier to say. I try to teach him that we don't want them inside the house (ex: if a spider has crawled in or if a fly got in by chance... we live in the country and in a year old new home, so we're used to some sort of insect probably once/day), but that they live outside and are okay outside. He is like my little "exterminator" though! It makes me laugh. He'll point out a spider for me to get a tissue to get, or he'll get one of his toys or a shoe if he sees a fly since he sees me getting a flyswatter (we don't have a tremendous amount of bugs getting inside- I don't want to give that impression- but for those of y'all who live in the country, you know it just comes with the territory- at least it's not a snake). I think that this age (he's 19 months- almost 20 months) is SO neat with what they observe as being "out of place" like if someone leaves their shoes in the foyer who's visiting... he knows that they aren't normally there and will bring them to that person. I call him our "hall monitor" too. Lately what's making me laugh though is if he walks into a dark room (ex: the hallway at night), I can hear him whisper "dark" indicating that he knows it's dark and wants me to turn on the light.

DS is the same age & is now starting to show stranger anxiety. When we had his 12m checkup his MD warned us saying this would be the last visit DS would actually "like" him...sure enough, he cried his little head off at his 15m checkup a few days ago. He had been afraid of his "pop goes the weasel" toy for a couple months (he would squeeze his eyes shut when the weasel would "pop") but now he's playing with it & seems to be enjoying it.

well we wil hit 17 months this week and dd can now play with things that she wouldn't before (actually she PILES her babies and animals on mommy when it's time to nurse to sleep...ever try nursing a toddler with ten more things of similar size on you?? lol)

however, stranger anxiety has set in big time. She doesn't even want to come out of the garage if she sees the neighbors across the street! And will just bury her face in my shoulder or legs if someone comes up to us. Sometimes she's okay and sometimes she's not. I just try to be gentle and reassuring with her but I'd be happy to hear any suggestions
thanks!

this is the best approach. don't force the issue. it is normal and developmental. let her work it out. the only other suggestion i have is to let her see you interact positively w/others. this may reduce her anxiety.