I just dont know where to turn. Its getting really, really bad around here and I am seriously considering more punitive measures as gentle discipline is JUST NOT WORKING.
Background - DS3 is bullying his sister DD1. Very physical mean bullying. I HATE typing that about my lovely sweet boy, who for the most part is just stunning.... BUT when it comes to his sister he is a mean, bullying little boy which is SO out of character. Like today he pushed her face into the little trampoline, held her there while climbing on her back and then started bouncing on her. She was SCREAMING and he was laughing.... I was running to save her and got to them pretty quickly, but she was so upset. She is actually scared of him at the moment and winces when he comes near her. I cannot leave them alone together or she gets beaten up. But neither of them will let the other be alone with me.... its impossible.
So at the moment we are doing NVC (I am new to it so make some mistakes). For every other situation it works really well with DS3, he responds well and for most situations has started to model it back to us too, which is great.... when it comes to his sister he turns a deaf ear. We have tried to take more of a playful approach and find him something else to do.... no dice.... he seems to just WANT to hurt her. I try and get alone time with him, but it does SEEM to be related to jealousy. We talk about his feelings and how frustrating it must be etc and he shrugs and says he likes to hear her cry.....????? I could just cry myself.
I am lost. I really thought I could do this without time outs or some other form of punishment. I REALLY WANT TO! But I just cannot put up with the bullying. I will NOT allow my daughter to be treated like this, even if its from someone who I love just as much as her!!!!
What do I do? I know its normal behavior for a three year old..... the thing that gets me is that when it comes to OTHER children he can be very empathetic, well beyond his years. When it comes to his sister he just becomes mean!
Background - DS3 is bullying his sister DD1. Very physical mean bullying. I HATE typing that about my lovely sweet boy, who for the most part is just stunning.... BUT when it comes to his sister he is a mean, bullying little boy which is SO out of character. Like today he pushed her face into the little trampoline, held her there while climbing on her back and then started bouncing on her. She was SCREAMING and he was laughing.... I was running to save her and got to them pretty quickly, but she was so upset. She is actually scared of him at the moment and winces when he comes near her. I cannot leave them alone together or she gets beaten up. But neither of them will let the other be alone with me.... its impossible.
So at the moment we are doing NVC (I am new to it so make some mistakes). For every other situation it works really well with DS3, he responds well and for most situations has started to model it back to us too, which is great.... when it comes to his sister he turns a deaf ear. We have tried to take more of a playful approach and find him something else to do.... no dice.... he seems to just WANT to hurt her. I try and get alone time with him, but it does SEEM to be related to jealousy. We talk about his feelings and how frustrating it must be etc and he shrugs and says he likes to hear her cry.....????? I could just cry myself.
I am lost. I really thought I could do this without time outs or some other form of punishment. I REALLY WANT TO! But I just cannot put up with the bullying. I will NOT allow my daughter to be treated like this, even if its from someone who I love just as much as her!!!!
What do I do? I know its normal behavior for a three year old..... the thing that gets me is that when it comes to OTHER children he can be very empathetic, well beyond his years. When it comes to his sister he just becomes mean!
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