15 month old won't listen

enigmameli

New Forum Member
- Join Date: Mar 2010
- Posts: 10
15 month old won't listen

#1

03-13-2010, 02:05 PM

hi everyone.. i am new here so i am sorry if anyone has allready posted about my issue.. i try to stay off the computer as much as possible and since i'm with my daughter 24/7 i don't have time to go though the posts.

anyhow, i am one of those mom's who does everything with her daughter.. she goes everywhere i go, i spend lots of time with her cuddling dancing giggling singing reading running etc, she's still 70% of the time nursing and 30% on solids, we've co slept since she was a month old, i only have a jogging stroller which i use only for jogging with her, never a walk, other than that she's been in a sling and a carrier, she only eats organic food. so there's a little about me. i am a very patient person, i've always been calm and i explain everything to her if i say no, which try not to i explain why, she sometimes throws a cry lasting 1-2 minutes but i distracter her with something else. but recently she has started standing and walking on the bed, and today she stood up right on the edge, well i kinda lost my cool and yelled at her - i know its not the solution but that's what happened, she cried.. i appoligized a million times told her i was wrong to do that and gave her a million kisses she was on the boob 2 minutes after and fell asleep, she's only on the bed when we're going to sleep.

so my question is, what do i do, i don't want to scream or yell or even raise my voice but i need her to stop standing on the bed because she will eventually fall off.. i have a good foam yoga matt around the bed but still..

thank you
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Kelly

Senior Moderator
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 479
#2

03-13-2010, 04:41 PM

Prevention is your best bet here...either don't leaver her alone on the bed (thus giving her the opportunity to stand up), or when she does stand on the bed, quickly move her off and simply say, "You may stand on the floor." Every time. At 15 months she is too young to "listen" when standing on the bed is waaay too fun!
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AwakenedMama

Junior Moderator
- Join Date: Mar 2008
- Posts: 237
#3

03-13-2010, 05:01 PM

Hi Mama,

First, it sounds like you screamed at her because you were scared. Although that's not the optimal response, it's ok. I would explain that to my daughter later, that that was why I yelled, because I was worried.

The other thing is that it's not necessarily true that she will eventually fall off the bed. I don't believe that kids really try to do a lot of things they aren't capable of. I bet that as long as you are there, if she does fall, it will be in a way that you can catch her. You can tell her that you're nervous, but also try trusting a little that she also can recognize safety and danger (to an extent), and allow her a little room to explore.

When other people are at our house, they are constantly telling our 3 year old that she shouldn't be doing this or that on our furniture or countertop -- but she does it all the time and is fine. We have told her what worries us and helped her explore it, and now she knows what she can and can't do safely. She has fallen once or twice, but not in a way that hurt her (other than a sting that left her crying for a minute or two).

Again, I'm not suggesting you let her play on the bed unsupervised...

Always, in these types of situations, it helps me to examine why I reacted the way I did and then to consider whether my fears about the situation are really "true". It is, of course, all about finding balance while trusting and supporting your kids.

Hope this helps!
Adrienne
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APJennifer

New Forum Member
- Join Date: Aug 2009
- Posts: 21
#4

03-18-2010, 12:51 PM

I agree with the rest o the advice - very good points. I'd also like to add a few practical things that we did for this same situation.

First, when my daughter was around 9 months old, we lowered the bed to just the mattress on the floor. If this isn't possible with your setup, it sounds like you are on a similar track with putting down a yoga mat to make the area as safe as possible.

Second, I started turning dd around on her belly and sliding her off the edge of the bed feet first EVERY time we got down, to help teach her the safe way to do it herself. Our mattress is over 20 inches, so even with it flat on the floor a fall is still possible. By the time she was 15 months, I had complete confidence in her ability to handle herself on and around the bed.

Good luck!
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