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  • EcoMaMa's Avatar
    EcoMaMa
    Senior Moderator Being The Change I Want To See!
    • Mar 2008
    • 535

    Toddler Behaving Poorly With Guests

    #1
    12-22-2008, 03:22 PM
    Whenever we get company or go to meet friends, always his friends and their families as we know no one else, Ronnie becomes a very loud and has no self control. Some of it is from a previous relation ship with the only other boy we knew in our group who behaved that way and Ronnie looked up to him so he thinks that is how it is. We are working on it, but need some suggestions.

    It is getting to where I wont take him out with me because he can't seem to bring himself back from that place that is turning people off and away.

    Daddy is taking a couple of weeks off from work to help me with this. We have been watching the Harvey Karp DVD and going through some of his suggestions and all of them work when it is just us, but not when there are guests.
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  • PaxMamma's Avatar
    PaxMamma
    Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
    • Mar 2008
    • 1708
    #2
    12-22-2008, 04:50 PM
    how old is he again? could you be more specific about what types of behaviors he's exhibiting? what do you do when he does them? do you have conversation w/him to prep him before the activity? can you practice using different voices at home? whisper, loud, just right, etc., make a game of it.

    does he have activities to engage in when you're visiting? or is he just on his own to figure out what to do?

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    • EcoMaMa's Avatar
      EcoMaMa
      Senior Moderator Being The Change I Want To See!
      • Mar 2008
      • 535
      #3
      12-22-2008, 05:05 PM
      Sorry I was rushed before to get dinner started so wasn't very specific was I.

      LOL

      He is three and the visits are his, not mine. Friends coming over to play with him.

      On occasion there me be someone stopping by to pick up co-op items, but most bring their children and we all get to play.

      He is always prepped and the focus is on him with the exception of the last few dates where I had to tend to other children to prevent them from being injured or household items from being destroyed. It upset everyone in the house.

      (I wondered if their taking me away from him and breaking his things is causing this, as in get rid of everyone before they do it?)

      Oh man I think I just figured out what he is doing... but, how do I "fix" it?

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      • PaxMamma's Avatar
        PaxMamma
        Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
        • Mar 2008
        • 1708
        #4
        12-22-2008, 05:25 PM
        my son would get very overwhelmed w/playdates around that age. he wouldn't act out, but would disengage, go to his room and play by himself. i figured out that there were just too many people for him to be able to deal with it. single friends coming over worked better for him. perhaps try to do simple playdates, w/out the crowd and see how it goes.

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        • EcoMaMa's Avatar
          EcoMaMa
          Senior Moderator Being The Change I Want To See!
          • Mar 2008
          • 535
          #5
          12-22-2008, 05:29 PM
          This is great advice and what I needed to hear. Thank you! We are giong to hermit ourselves for the next couple of weeks. Daddy has taken off work so we can focus completely on him and his sister is coming to spend a couple of days so after the break going back to little one on one dates may be the perfect ice breaker.

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          • PaxMamma's Avatar
            PaxMamma
            Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
            • Mar 2008
            • 1708
            #6
            12-22-2008, 06:27 PM
            glad i was helpful. update us on how things go!

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            • EcoMaMa's Avatar
              EcoMaMa
              Senior Moderator Being The Change I Want To See!
              • Mar 2008
              • 535
              #7
              12-23-2008, 09:45 AM
              I will! Thank you again!

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              • WildBlueberry's Avatar
                WildBlueberry
                Senior Forum Member
                • Mar 2008
                • 248
                #8
                12-24-2008, 11:36 AM
                Originally posted by PaxMamma View Post
                my son would get very overwhelmed w/playdates around that age. he wouldn't act out, but would disengage, go to his room and play by himself. i figured out that there were just too many people for him to be able to deal with it. single friends coming over worked better for him. perhaps try to do simple playdates, w/out the crowd and see how it goes.
                Yep, my daughter too. Group playdates didn't work at that age. Also, she became overwhelmed when kids would touch all of her toys because she was very particular about how they were handled. It was better for us to go someplace else, or if someone came here, to just pick out a few toys to bring downstairs to play with. It was also important that I play with the kids rather than trying to converse with the other parent. Frustrating, but important for her at that age. If there was a group, the best situation was if I could get them engaged in a game (ala dick-duck-goose or hide-and-seek) rather than open play. I hope you quickly find what will work for you!
                Last edited by WildBlueberry; 12-24-2008, 11:39 AM.

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