Kicking during diaper changes

Plumsmum

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Kicking during diaper changes

#1

11-16-2008, 11:02 PM

Hi all. Haven't been here in a while...missed you guys...

My DD, now 26 months, is giving my patience a run for the money! Almost everytime it is time to get dressed or change her diapers (she poops in the potty now! Hooray!) it is a struggle. We went through this phase about 8 months ago or more but worked through it. Now it is a struggle and my old solutions don't work: where would you like your diaper changed? what would you like to wear? Should we dress you in the kitchen or the bedroom?Singing songs, nothing! Now, I'll just take her out of the house naked and into the car to get where we are going and then she'll get dressed "on location." But when I get what I think is going to be cooperation from her....she lies down...once I get the diaper off trying to get the new one on or her clothes back on is a struggle. She kicks me over and over...hard. I get frustrated and walk away...letting her stay half naked, then she gets frightened and asks "Momma ok?" and I'll say I'm sad or frustrated because I need to put your clothes on so you won't get cold and/or you are kicking me and it hurts. I've said in short sentences "kicking hurts, no kicking" and if it's not important she stays naked but there are times when (oh, and I'm a single Mom BTW) that I think I need to get this done so that we can go (like when I'm supposed to be at work) and she is about impossible. And sometimes after not having any Mommy time it gets to be too much! This is part of the curse isn't it? My Mom had the same troubles with me....there are pictures to prove it. ;-) But I didn't kick, just ran outside and up the tree to be naked with the Jay Bird.
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Jessica

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#2

11-16-2008, 11:39 PM

Do you think she might prefer using a pull-up or cloth training pants? She could stand while putting them on, which is much less passive then lying down, and would probably make it harder for her to kick you.

Or, what about forgoing the diapers/pull-ups and moving up to underwear? If she's into it might be worth all the accidents she might have.

Do you have any ideas about what might be behind this behaviour? e.g. doesn't want to leave the house, likes to be naked, doesn't want to leave you, wants more control in her life etc. etc.
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babymoon

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#3

11-17-2008, 05:13 PM

That sounds pretty challenging especially if you don't get much of a break. You sound like you're a bit fed up with the whole thing. I've been there too it can be hard when the old ways of dealing with things no longer work (see my recent post!) Would it help her to know where you are going and to talk it up a bit (sell it) e.g. 'we are going to go to granny's now and it's gonna be so much fun and you can help water granny's plants etc' What about getting dressed in front of a mirror? Or having a game where she puts one piece of clothing on then runs around the room/house and then puts next piece on and does same (I used to love that game as a child!)

HTH
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Plumsmum

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#4

11-17-2008, 08:12 PM

Originally posted by Jessica View Post

Do you think she might prefer using a pull-up or cloth training pants? She could stand while putting them on, which is much less passive then lying down, and would probably make it harder for her to kick you.

Or, what about forgoing the diapers/pull-ups and moving up to underwear? If she's into it might be worth all the accidents she might have.

Do you have any ideas about what might be behind this behaviour? e.g. doesn't want to leave the house, likes to be naked, doesn't want to leave you, wants more control in her life etc. etc.

I think that she LOVES to be naked. She runs all over the house and I can see that she feels free....FREEDOM! We tried the underwear today, she still has accidents but they are easier to put on. Haven't tried the pull-ups. I never thought that this might be her way of saying "Mom, I'm done with diapers." of course tonight after bath (she peed in the underpants but then not 5 minutes later went poop on the potty all by herself) she asked for a clean diaper.
I don't think it's about more control....I think I might give her too much control actually. maybe it's a reaction to to much independence? I've started doing things for myself again...like getting my hair cut and my nails done alone. things to ponder. Thank you.
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Plumsmum

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#5

11-17-2008, 08:18 PM

Originally posted by babymoon View Post

You sound like you're a bit fed up with the whole thing. What about getting dressed in front of a mirror? Or having a game where she puts one piece of clothing on then runs around the room/house and then puts next piece on and does same (I used to love that game as a child!)

HTH

I am fed up with being kicked. It hurts and I try not to take it personally but after everything I do for her and how much I have given up so that she is protected and secure it not only hurts my body it hurts my feelings. Yes, I hear my Mother and my Grandmother loudly "MOTHERHOOD IS A THANKLESS JOB!" This particular event happened after being together for 6 days in a row with out a break for me plus travel stress.

I'm going to try the getting dressed in front of the mirror. She loves my closet which is 6 wardrobes facing each other with mirrored doors. It is one of her favorite rooms in the house. Good idea! I got a break today and feel revitalized and ready to set the world on fire again.

Thank you for your support!!! Makes such a difference!
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PaxMamma

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#6

11-17-2008, 09:03 PM

Originally posted by Plumsmum View Post

I am fed up with being kicked. It hurts and I try not to take it personally but after everything I do for her and how much I have given up so that she is protected and secure it not only hurts my body it hurts my feelings. Yes, I hear my Mother and my Grandmother loudly "MOTHERHOOD IS A THANKLESS JOB!"

i know it's hard, but try to keep in mind that she really is not out to get you. and it's also not that she's ungrateful. she's just exhibiting age appropriate behavior.

as far as the control issue, what i readin Larry Cohn's API Speaks post on Something to Bump Up Against really resonated w/me. i'm finding a lot of help applying it w/my VERY independent toddler.
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Plumsmum

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#7

11-18-2008, 09:55 PM

I know she isn't out to get me. I don't think that she ever means to hurt any being (we have a cat.) She slapped me hard in the face tonight after a web cam visit with her father, so hard that it stung my eyes and they teared up. She was so concerned about "Mommy crying and Mommy hurt?" I saw it in her face and I heard the concern in her voice. Of course she did not relate any of it to her slapping me. I think the hitting and kicking is hard for me because I left a physically abusive marriage when I found out I was pregnant with her so that she would have a chance at a better life.....so feeling a bit beat up again these days even though I know cerebrally that her behavior isn't about me.....I'll take it to my shrink.

I tried the getting dressed in front of the mirrors today and she loved it. We also made up new songs to get dressed to and it worked and for the last diapering of the night...I put it on while she was standing up brushing her teeth (distracted!) So the suggestions were taken to heart and worked very well. Thank you guys sooo much!
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Jessica

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#8

11-18-2008, 11:53 PM

Plumsmum,

When I get pushed, hit, kicked, punched by anyone, (usually by my kids but sometimes my husband as he can be a little clumsy) my immediate reaction is to feel angry, grrr. Even if it's an accident. (And I've never been physically abused, unless you count the two spankings I got as a child.) I wonder if this is a common reaction?
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OwlWise

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#9

11-29-2008, 03:32 PM

no kids like a diaper change!! i guess we gotta make diaper changing fun somehow!!
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SoccerMom81

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#10

11-29-2008, 03:48 PM

I hate when kids do that!!!!
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mama2maya

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#11

12-24-2008, 04:44 PM

i feel your pain, literally! My dd is the same age and does the same thing. I've tried several of the suggestions and things you have done in the past with no success. I need to get a full length mirror it sounds like! Every single diaper change is trauma for both of us. Reading your post and the responses improves my mood a bit, knowing that i'm not alone I assume this too shall pass...
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