Hey everyone! I just need an ear & maybe some advice.

My daughter & I had a rough start with breastfeeding. She wasn't latching on at the beginning & after trying & struggling & lots of crying on both parts, I went to a LC when she was 1 week old. The LC said my nipples were too big & were flat & her mouth was too teeny & she had borderline jaundice (not quite high enough to be jaundice, but high enough to be concerned) so was sleepy & a "lazy nurser." She was 7 lbs 4 oz. when born. After a week she was down to 6 lbs 11 oz & they were worried so the LC gave me a nipple shield & a nursing supplementer. I used the supplementer for the next week giving her milk I pumped. I also pumped & pumped to try & increase my supply & got to a point where I was getting 4-6 oz every 2-3 hours.

At her 2 week appt, which was actually @ 16 days she weighed 7 lbs 3 oz, so we were happy & I weaned her off the supplementer (but not quite yet weaned her off the nipple shield, but progress is being made with that).

I know this all sounds like a good success story so far, but what was also happening throughout all this is anxiety & guilt & me blaming myself for not being able to feed her properly & many many tears & frustration & problems w/ me being confident in my body & breasts.

Well, some of that has been alleviated recently. Just this last week or so I have FINALLY started feeling more confident in myself as a mother. The breastfeeding seems like it has been going well & I've been feeling like she's getting enough. Something just clicked & I feel like our rhythms are in sync & I have a better idea what's going on when she's crying or fussing & can help her better & she seems happier. We've figured out the sling & it's been a lifesaver for both of us.

So, today, we went to her 2 month appointment (she's actually 1 day away from 9 weeks). She is 8 lbs 4 oz. She's only gained 17 oz in basically 6 weeks (less than 3 oz. per week). I was so hoping she had gained more. It felt like a blow when I saw the numbers on the scale. It completely shook my tenuous confidence all over again. The doctor didn't seem too concerned, but did say she needs to gain more than she is. He said maybe I could pump or do things to increase my supply & bring her in for weight checks if I want. He was also happy to hear that things have gotten better this last week & said hopefully that does it.

Now I know logically that things are probably fine & she is a happy baby. She just started smiling a couple weeks ago & it makes my heart hurt w/ happiness at how cute she is. She has lots of times throughout the day where she is just exploring the world w/ her eyes & she & I will spend an hour just gazing @ each other & interacting. But, one reading from the scale can make me obsess all over again, bleah.

I guess what I mostly want is to not feel alone & to know others have had issues like this. I am drinking Mother's Molk tea & will start feeding her on both breasts starting today. Any other advice or words of encouragement for a down-in-the-dumps Mom?