Is sounds like you are being attentive and responsive to your daughters needs. I would say you are doing the right things! I believe "right" is as individual as Mother and Child.

My 4 year old daughter was the same way. I had planned to try to let her ween naturally but after the birth of my second daughter, it became too much and I completely weened her at 3 and a half. I think eating habits are unique to each child and seems to be a trait from birth. At 11 months, my 4 year old would eat solids in passing where my 11 month old baby girl eats everything I put in front of her and can't get enough! I haven't done anything differently with my 11 month old. My 4 year old is also a very picky eater, so don't be surprised if you have that in your future as well. However, I hope this isn't your case! My 4 year old did eat some of the frosting of her first birthday cake shortly after she mashed it to death. I'm sure your daughter will still have a blast!

It sounds like you're really worried about doing things wrong. Have you gotten in touch with this fear? Rest assured that as long as you feel in tune to your daughter's needs then you are on the right track. There is no rule book for that except for what is in your heart. My 4 year old also nursed every 2 hours throughout the night for the first 2 and half years. Once I became pregnant and the pain was too much, we mostly night weened. I'd nurse her to sleep and when she'd wake up to nurse, I'd let her know that she needed to wait until the sun came up. She'd get upset (some crying) but we'd cuddle and I would rub her back. After a few nights of this she quit waking up until right at the crack of dawn which I would then allow her to nurse.

I am not familiar with a list like this, but perhaps you can connect with a support group in your area and ask other Mothers which pediatrician they use?

I have certainly been in your shoes with my 4 year old. She's never starved herself and she's gradually expanded her list of foods. When she was younger, I offered food I knew she would eat along with something new. Now that she's older, we can talk about healthy foods and she'll willingly try just one bite. This has led her to discover even more foods that she likes. I think my daughter would have eventually self weened, but it would've probably been closer to age 5 since I believe she would still be nursing if I let her. My plan has always been to nurse her as long as it worked for both of us. I didn't think I would be the first to bow out. She handled it very well, however, and has found other ways to find comfort from me. At 4 years old, she sleeps through the night after a story and a cuddle and can stay alone until morning. This change gradually came with age.

Keep doing what you're doing Mom!

thanks for the detailed response. it was reassuring. it's just difficult when my family and friends have babies who seem to do everything the way "it's supposed to happen." since the original post, i've been trying to let relax about it all and take it day by day.

I think a lot of AP Moms feel that way. I certainly did, so I found my support in books and then the API community. It's reassuring to know that there are other people out there that let their children lead the way they parent. My 4 year old daughter gets many compliments about what a sweet well-behaved girl she is. These comments come from the same people who tried to convince me I was going to spoil her by never letting her cry, wearing her constantly, sleeping with her, and letting her lead her eating habits. Hang in there.