preparing for #2

I am so happy to have found this forum!

We have been co-sleeping with our son for 28 months. Our second child is due 4 months from now. Our son doesn't seem at all inclined to move out of the bed (surprise surprise) but we're wondering how we should manage once the new baby comes, or if there's anything we can do to increase our son's sleeping independence before the baby gets here.

We've tried having our son sleep with my partner in another room, so that I can sleep just with the baby when she gets here, but our son wake up crying by midnight when we do that, being used to cuddling with mama all night. I'm worried the baby will disturb his sleep, if we try to stuff everyone in the same bed, but I'm so stressed and tired as it is right now that adding more sleep deprivation doesn't seem like a fun idea. We tried the sidecar bed, and it was a total failure, I think because he's used to sleeping cuddled up. Would love advice from parents who have been there!

Thanks!

My oldest only partially co-slept, off and on, from the time she was born. So when #2 came, she had already gone through a few periods of staying in her own room all night. BUT, at the time that #2 arrived, she was currently in a phase of DH laying down with her in her own room to fall asleep, and then she would call for someone to come get her about halfway through the night. When dd2 arrived, the first night dd1 came into our bed, she wanted to snuggle right up to me but DH told her she had to stay on the other side with him (very gently). Then she surprised us all by requesting to be returned to her room! The baby had started crying, I got up to change a diaper, we were keeping a brighter nightlight on in the room, and we wouldn't let her snuggle on my side of the bed. All in all, it she decided her room was better than that crazy situation!

Not that you should expect the same thing to happen, but my point is that in my experience, your child will let you know what his needs are, and they will probably change as quickly as you think you have them figured out. It sounds like you are already on the right track with trying several different options and sleeping arrangements.

By the way, almost 2 years later DD1 is now 100% in our room again, with her twin mattress next to DH's side of the bed on the floor. I've given up on trying to apply a predictable sleeping arrangement formula :-)

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