have you tried a nursing necklace? i know what you mean about the nails digging in. my 2nd ds's nails would do this, no matter how short i had them trimmed, so when he would start, i would grab his hand and hold it or have him hold my finger. i just did this over and over again until he would either quit trying to grab my breast or start grabbing my hand. sometimes it would frustrate him, but i was not willing to allow him to hurt me, so i stood firm on it.

Here is another thread on a similar problem-

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/f...rsing+twiddler

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/f...t=nursing+mole


Maybe some creative problem solving is in order! My first was not a figgiter while nursing but my second likes to grab and squeeze while he nurses...It drives me batty sometimes! I guess you need to find something for him to touch that satisfies that urge for him? Trial and error. Is there any toy he likes to hold at other times (my second has fallen asleep nursing while holding two trucks in his hands) Maybe have a basket of little things and keep offering things to him? Neither of mine have lovies but maybe it is just the kinestheticness of it not the item or body part?
Good luck, give us an update!

My DD, almost 21 months, is also a fidgety squeezer and pincher and it means I could never just fall back asleep when we nursed at night - we do nurse to sleep most of time, and I just gently move and hold her hands and remind her "no pinching please, gentle touching, please." I worked for a long time on the consistent, gentle reminding not to pinch me, and even took her off the boob a couple of times. Now I remind her and she stops doing it. She also likes to touch and pinch my nipple but I just don't let her; I say, "you may suck my nipple, but it's for your mouth, not your fingers." You might be able to work on this, maybe holding him close in a rocking chair or something so he can't get at your nipples and repeating some phrase that works for you. I'm in favor of meeting DD's needs so she doesn't cry most of the time, but I also want to teach her that hurting people is not okay.

Even so, at night DD still pats and strokes and rubs me, so even though we night-weaned in an effort to cut down on her night waking (I read some other threads on this with interest - it didn't really work, although I don't nurse at night anymore), she still needs to do that with her hands when falling back asleep at night so it means I can't really go back to sleep myself until she's well gone. I like the idea of offering her toys to hold. Stuffed animals don't really work - she just puts them in the crook of her arms and goes at me with her hands.

Thank you eveyone for the replies.

I am definitely going to try the nursing necklace. Hopefully that works. I have been really trying to be firm and not give in to letting him do it - he cries for a bit most nights but he does give in rather easily when he's tired. I really think replacing this habit with something else (ie. The necklace) will work and hopefully that will help him be able to fall asleep with someone else.

I find that since he's picked up this habit he even has a hard time falling asleep with dh because there are no nipples to hlep soothe him?

Thanks again! I'll keep you posted on progress.