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Curious#102-12-2009, 07:48 PMI've been reading THe no cry sleep solution and trying to work on several things. The first thing i'm trying to conqour is getting my lo to sleep for an hour or 2 before i come to bed. However I've noticed during the day that she is way more clingy. She doesn't like to go to dh's arms now and will crawl all over me, all day in attempt to keep me close, instead of playing with her toys. I want to move her to her crib during this time because i'm nervous about her waking up and me not knowing. I've got my monitor turned as loud as i can get it to hear her, I've got the matress on the floor and a guardrail on my side of the bed. However the head of our bed has a window that i can't do anything about (no matter where else i put my bed i can't have it away from the window and still have heat in the upstairs, stupid layout of the house). I may trust her when she's older but i'm not sure. Is the clingy behavious a sign i'm already pushing her far enough and should wait to get her in the crib?? or is this a normal developmental stage??Tags: None
#202-13-2009, 05:27 AMIt may or may not be related, could simply be because of change, not necessarily what the change was. I don't understand what you mean by describing the safety of the room. Are you worried about it> Do you think she is? Do you mean you want to put her in a crib and want to know a gentle way to transition her?
#302-13-2009, 09:20 AMI know the room isn't safe and this weekend my dh and i are going to takle it to make it safe. The challenge will be the window at the head of our bed. I guess i should have posted elsewhere. I've just noticed my dd is super clingy. to the point i can't sit on the sofa. she will cry until i get down on the floor with her. She wants to crawl all over me instead of playing with her toys, no matter how much i try and play with her. She won't go to her daddy's arms any more. the entire time she will struggle to return back to my arms. She screams bloody murder if i leave the room. I've recently been trying to nurse her to sleep and leave her in our bed while i go downstairs to clean/watch t.v.. I wonder if this is magnifying her behaviours as previously described. The only time she doesn't do this behaviour is when she's at a play group (or other peoples houses). I let her go so far away from me and then i follow, simply becasuse there are older children who are not so aware of a baby.
It's frustrating for me not to be able to communicate with her to find out what the issue is, and console anything emotionally that may be going on. I know there really isn't such a thing as overly attatched but i'm concerned because now she's increasing her night feedings, will not play with her father, and seems to be happy only in my arms. I wondering if this is just a phase that she will grow out of? is it realate to her new nighttime routine?? I've recieved feedback that she's not socialized with other children enough and i should force her to stay awake to take her to play groups (as there is only one program and it is schedualed at her nap time, and i have no friends with children)? Is this "normal" seperation anxiety??
Forum Administrator and Casualty of Love
- Mar 2008
#402-13-2009, 12:18 PMit sounds to me like she could be experiencing stranger anxiety. this is a completely normal stage of development that all children go through, at varying degrees of intensity. try to respond to her "messages" by letting her know you are there for her and as she learns to trust you, she will grow more self-confident and not be so fearful.
#502-13-2009, 12:19 PMI wondering if this is just a phase that she will grow out of? is it realate to her new nighttime routine?? I've recieved feedback that she's not socialized with other children enough and i should force her to stay awake to take her to play groups (as there is only one program and it is schedualed at her nap time, and i have no friends with children)? Is this "normal" seperation
she's not socialized
That super clingy thing is very annoying, I have been there, trust me, and its not easy. I know it is tempting to try to solve the problem by 'fixing' the child, but this seldom helps. You sound like you are worn out and getting some time to yourself in a creative way might go a long way towards helping you both (and all 3 of you) to get some comfort and normalcy. ANYTIME you start changing something, a child will notice and react. ANYTIME things are changing with a child (teething, new skills, developmental stage, perception of Mommy and Daddy) the child will act differently. I have found if you pull away from a superneedy child, it only gets worse! Whatever that fear is, pulling a way or making yourself less available makes them fear it MORE. Imagine if you told a older child that this was the last piece of candy he could EVER have! It would be a frantic, desperate candy eating session! Possibly this is how a pre-verbal child might perceive your pulling away. It is not logical for the child and I know you are not doing it on purpose. These are just ideas...i am not there and I am not her!
Have you looked into OTHER groups for more of a variety of meeting times? How about more AP supportive freinds? Lets find you some!
Have a look at thease articles.
Helping Children with Shyness
by Julianne Idleman
We're Doing Our Best
by Patty Wipfler
Child Behavior Vs. Personality:
It's not about us -go to articles and the behavior and the article is under there...links don't work the way I want them at this site!Last edited by naomifrederickmd; 02-13-2009, 12:21 PM.
#602-17-2009, 07:35 PM
Therefor i have more questions for you
Is this related to stranger anxiety or simply personality. I've been trying many of the suggestions in the no-cry-sleep-solution. The ones i'm working on is, One introducing a lovely (to help her sleep longer and return back to sleep on her own after waking). So far she tends to throw them away and wants nothing to do with them as soon as we're going to bed, same with her soother, she wants the brest.
Second i've tried to get her accustomed to sleeping on her own. So i go through the whole nap/bedtime routine. At bedtime i can get her asleep easily but she still wakes up constantly for the time i'm not in bed with her (i've given up on her crib) and will settle down easily only to wake up 30 mins later. So far none of the suggestions seem to be working but at least she will go to sleep. For naps i go through the nap routine and at the end place her in a sling (instead of the wrap because i can get it out of her without waking her) however now she screams and arches her back in the sling and will only go to sleep in a wrap. I've tried nursing her down fir some of the naps but she knows this is out of the ordinary and starts trying to get away. i'm getting so frustrated as nothing seems to be working and we've been at this for several weeks now. Am I just pushing her to fast??? Or is it likely to be her personality in keeping me close (as i've been told by my mom is how i was and why they resorted to the CIO method, which i'm against)? Any suggestions??Last edited by smurfsammy; 02-17-2009, 07:39 PM.