DS is 13 mo old and has never been "a good sleeper". From birth, he's had sleep difficulties. DH and I are tired as are most parents after the first year but maybe a little more so since DS has never slept "well". We've been through many phases with his sleep and have been trying to ride with it and evolve our parenting to meet his needs, etc. At the moment, I can say what is going WELL is that once he's asleep for the night, he only wakes briefly to nurse and goes right back to sleep. He may do this several times, but most of the time I'm only half awake.
What is not going well, the part I need support on, is that it is very hard most nights to get him TO sleep.
We've tried to have a consistent nighttime routine, but maybe we're not very good at it. Here's the part where we get confused. If his routine is bath, lotion, sing a song, nurse to sleep - and we do that every night at 8:30 - what do you do on the nights when he looks at you after all that and is just still awake? What do you do from 8:30 - 1 AM? (or whenever) We've tried moving the "routine" around as per his sleep cues - meaning some nights the routine happens at 8 and sometimes at 11 PM - and that doesn't seem to work, either. Most nights we just end up with an overtired baby who will. not. sleep. Sometimes as late as say, 2 AM. One night last week he was awake from 12 - 4 AM. It's affected DH's work performance, but I haven't been able to handle it on my own - meaning, some nights I say - I need a break from this, you're gonna have to take him some tonight (cause I'm tired - or, angry). At the same time, I worry DH will lose his job because his lack of sleep is affecting his work performance, timeliness, etc.
I mentioned sometimes I'm angry. That's another part I'd like support on, or thoughts. Last night, I handed DS to DH at midnight and said, I am not pacing (stomping) him down tonight, I'm just too tired (and I'd done it the night before). DH knows though that I am not a fan of CIO. I fall asleep and about 30 minutes later DH brings me a hysterical DS. I'm mad. Resentful. I take DS and grudgingly nurse him while pacing/stomping him down to sleep.
I don't want to be mean to my husband in that situation, but in the moment, I feel those emotions of anger and resentment. I'm TIRED. I want DH to be able to get DS to sleep.
We talked about it later and DH said he thought he was doing the right thing by bringing me DS because I don't want him to CIO.. which is true..
Another quick question: If you have a DC with sleep issues, and they try to "nap" late in the day, do you "let" them sleep? I feel like it's unkind to try to keep him awake, but I know as I'm letting him nap that I'm in for it that night and the late nap isn't helping!
Anyway thanks if you've made it this far and thanks for any thoughts or support you may have. Be gentle with me please, I'm a sensitive one