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co-sleeping and nursing two little ones#108-09-2008, 10:51 PMI am having a really difficult time finding a bedtime and naptime routine that makes everyone happy these days! I have a 2yr old and a 3mos old. My 2yr old is totally dependent on the breast to fall asleep but I can't lay down with her if the 3mos old is awake at her bedtime, which he usually is. He doesn't do well with anyone else for the amount of time it takes for my 2yr old to suck herself off to sleepyland. My son (3mos old) seems to like 9pm for his bedtime but this is too late for my daughter (2yr old). Most nights my husband comes home from work around 9:15 and he's been laying beside my daughter while I pace the room with the baby trying to "walk" him to sleep. She mostly lays there and whimpers and moans for me to come lay down with her, which keeps the baby awake even longer. I feel like I really need them both to go to bed around the same time for my own sanity and peace of mind! Any ideas? Naptime is even more fun! Yippee!Tags: None
Senior Forum Member
- Mar 2008
#208-10-2008, 06:46 AMFirst all, congratulations on your new baby! And second of all, some serious hugs to you! My two are 23months apart and those first 1-6 months were a huge transition for me.
While my older DD does not nurse anymore (she weaned while I was pregnant), she was still dependent on me to get her to sleep or at least follow though with our normal go-to-sleep routine. For those first 3 or 4 months, I basically did everything I could to get my new baby (DS) to take a nap so that I could put my DD down one-on-one with me w/o her brother. My DS has never napped well so it was rough and my DD would make lots of noise that made the process take even longer. Essentially, I'd eventually be able to get my newborn down and then immediately, go about my business of getting my toddler down to have my DS wake up within a minute of my getting my DD down. I had NO break whatsoever and there were many naptimes, etc. where I'd "almost" have my DD down, but my DS would wake up and I'd have to go thru everything all over again to put him back down so I could continue w/ my DD.
Unfortunately, there have been times where neither one were happy with me or where I had to attend to my newborn and my DD was unhappy. It is hard to balance both children's needs and sometimes I had to decide who's need was stronger at a given moment since you really can't be in both places at the same time.
If you do not have any other family who could stay with you, I encourage you to take help from whereever you can get it. Friends, neighbors, a local teen to act as a mama's-helper, etc. until this phase passes and the older child adapts some and allows a change in her routine. You could also try to slowly shift your DD's schedule to try to coincide with your newborn's schedule..
FWIW, I did find that if I swaddled my newborn, rocked or nursed him to sleep and put him in a vibrating bouncy seat, I could usually get 30 min of un-interrupted time with my daughter.
Again, hugs to you. This is a hard transition but it really does get better, I promise!
#308-11-2008, 02:28 PMThank you, bluebonnet. The hard thing is that my 3mos old doesn't really do well hanging out with anyone for more than 10-15mins, even his own daddy! This is the hard part. I think what we'll have to do is try some of the weaning methods (for my 2yr old daughter) for nighttime nursing that some of the other members have discussed. I don't need to wean her completely, I just need her to be able to take a nap and go to bed without having to nurse. I know she can do it because she falls asleep in the car or stroller all the time! I don't want to lie to her and tell her my breast is "asleep" or anything; I don't like that and she's too smart for that! She would tell it to wake up! Today at nap time I sat with her and read 2 books and rubbed her back and then hugged and kissed her and told her it was time to rest or she could look at her books some more, and then I got up and left. She cried loudly on and off for a while and both my husband and I went in and out trying to console her, offering to rub her back some more, etc. My husband finally laid down with her after about 2hrs. of her not falling asleep, and she is now sleeping! After what age is "crying it out" not considered Ferberizing? She's certainly not a little baby anymore but I hate the idea of letting her cry for so long. We'll see how bedtime goes tonight. Our plan is to do bath time, put on pajamas, and read books on the bed until daddy comes home. Then he will lay next to her with the light off until she falls asleep, while I try to get 3mos old to sleep. We'll see how it goes!
- Mar 2008
#408-20-2008, 02:17 AMI was so there two years ago. I tandemed nursed for 8 months before my body grew to tired. It was a really tough time but now I have nothing but positive memories. It will get easier.
Things that helped were to get a solid bedtime routine. Something that dad or mom could do. Try pushing her bedtime a little earlier or later so the baby is asleep or can be held by dad. My DH often wasn't around at bedtime so there were times I had to put the bouncy chair in DS's room and just hoped he fell asleep quickly before the baby started fussing.
When I finally weaned DS we were down to only the nighttime nursing. I started reading longer books, and lots of poetry. The poetry was really rhythmic and helped DS fall asleep. I would just read to him until he fell asleep. After doing that for awhile and he was weaned completely, I was able to turn the light out and have me or DH lay with him until he fell asleep.
New Forum Member
- Jun 2008
#509-07-2008, 04:32 PM
mama april, hang in there. i was soo there a few months back. it will get better. things that helped me: nursing them both at the same time, helping my daughter fall asleep without nursing, reading to older one in bed while nursing the little one, getting papa to help to put older one to sleep while i paced the floor with the baby (just like you!! )hang in there!!