I don't know what BTDT means, (maybe thats me:) but we have had more than 1 child in bed with us at a time and have found some creative solutions to meeting all of our individual needs.

We embrace most child-led changes; weaning, potty-training, separation, bed moving, etc. However, we found it to be uncomfortable for all with the nightly gymnastics of our oldest child and it felt unsafe so we gently-led our oldest into his own sleeping space in our room.

Several things we have done over the years to make co-sleeping work(different with each one because each child has their own unique feelings) :

* push a twin mattress against my side of bed and sleep in between new babe and toddler ( i grew to be OK with no space in bedroom because its only where we slept, thats all we used the space for so it worked)
* have dad and toddler sleep in queen bed in our room while I stay in our King bed
* co-sleeping bassinet attached to side of our bed for new babe toddler sleeps on other side
* little mattress (which we pushed under our bed for more room during the day) on floor that our toddler goes to after he falls asleep
* little mattress on floor (right next to side of my bed) that I lie with my toddler on till he falls asleep
* we also keep sleeping bags in closet for the older kids (that have transitioned to their own room) if they get scared or just need to be in the same room as mom and dad

Sleepless in America, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, has some great ideas for sleeping transitions or adjustments!

OP, you're right in being so respectful of your older child's needs, and in ignoring the comments of others. i'm sure you will find the right sleep arrangement for your family. for us, this changes on a regular basis. as the kids have grown, so have our family's needs. we treat sleep just like any other dynamic, on the basis of meeting EVERYONE'S needs.

i was very worried before the birth of our 2nd, too, about how the whole sleep thing would go. but you know what? it just fell into place, as i followed my instincts, there were NO problems.

marianne listed many great solutions. i hope you find one that works for you. let us know how it goes!

marianne, BTDT--been there, done that

Sorry for the acronym, they are common in my thoughts now LOL

I'm sure it will be far less worrisome when the time comes, and I'm use to having no space already.

I have planned on having toddler on my other side but then wonder how it will work switching sides while nursing, I could also be blessed with one of those newborns who actually does sleep at night, which will make life easier, but I'm not betting on it

So many like to suggest the "big boy bed" but you know, I wonder if mama is even ready for it, after almost 3 years of snuggling up to him every night, it's hard to imagine not, KWIM?

DS will have the option of being with DH in the bed, but he's never too keen on that, we'll have to see, DS may want his own room if his sister is awake all night

i was fearful of ds2 waking ds1 at night, too, but have since learned ds1 can sleep through ANYTHING. as far as switching sides, i learned how to feed baby w/both breasts while continuing to lay on one side. does that make sense? entirely possible, esp. w/your second b/c your boobs become even more elastic