My 3.5 year old sensitive daughter started preschool 1 month ago. She has since started showing signs of stress and anxiety (separation anxiety not just at school, waking up at night, asking for a bottle, asking if I'm mad at her, ....). It's only 2 days a week, 2 hours each class. So far I have been taking her and staying with her in the classroom. I did step outside for a few minutes the first two days. Day one was fine. Day two she got worried and the teacher let her see me but wouldn't let her come to me which resulted in a lot of crying and understandable upset on her part. Since then, I have been sitting in class by the door and have reassured her each day that although we will work toward me leaving, I will not be leaving today. Regardless, she asks me over and over again if I'm going to leave, wants to cling to me, will not go anywhere that she can't see me and although she does end up playing a bit she keeps coming back to me throughout the class and asking again and again if I'm going to stay. I have never snuck out on her at preschool or anywhere else. The preschool teacher has been patient but is now starting to put pressure on for me to just start leaving even if she cries... even if it's only for a few minutes at the beginning.
We've always taken a very gentle approach with my daughter in the past and for a few reasons I'm not sure I'm comfortable with leaving her crying with the teacher (even for a few minutes):
1) she is always sensitive, extremely attached to me and slow to transition but if we let her take her time she usually gets there eventually
2) she usually really resists if we push things and I'm worried that we've already made her anxious about preschool and that she'll only resist more
3) she doesn’t 'need' to go to preschool, my main reason was wanting her to get some exposure now so all day kindergarten isn't such a big shock - but I don't want her to have a negative association with school
The problem is that I don't think the preschool will be supportive of my continuing to stay until she finally is ok with me leaving and I wonder if she even will be ok with that given the bumpy beginning we've had. The other major reason is that I'm expecting baby #2 in a month so I can't just go and sit in class with a newborn. I think some of her current stress is also related to her anticipation of the new baby and I can only imagine that part and the separation anxiety could get worse in the coming month.
On the other hand, the teacher said she's concerned that my daughter is getting the message that she isn't capable and I certainly don't want her to feel that either. I am torn... Any advice or thoughts or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
We've always taken a very gentle approach with my daughter in the past and for a few reasons I'm not sure I'm comfortable with leaving her crying with the teacher (even for a few minutes):
1) she is always sensitive, extremely attached to me and slow to transition but if we let her take her time she usually gets there eventually
2) she usually really resists if we push things and I'm worried that we've already made her anxious about preschool and that she'll only resist more
3) she doesn’t 'need' to go to preschool, my main reason was wanting her to get some exposure now so all day kindergarten isn't such a big shock - but I don't want her to have a negative association with school
The problem is that I don't think the preschool will be supportive of my continuing to stay until she finally is ok with me leaving and I wonder if she even will be ok with that given the bumpy beginning we've had. The other major reason is that I'm expecting baby #2 in a month so I can't just go and sit in class with a newborn. I think some of her current stress is also related to her anticipation of the new baby and I can only imagine that part and the separation anxiety could get worse in the coming month.
On the other hand, the teacher said she's concerned that my daughter is getting the message that she isn't capable and I certainly don't want her to feel that either. I am torn... Any advice or thoughts or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
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