This reminds me of our situation! We've also homeschooled up until this year...my daughter is almost 6 and she is also very bright, social, and securely attached. We are trying out a school situation this year, and although it does seem to be going well for her, it is generally a huge adjustment. My daughter definitely feels most comfortable expressing herself at home with us! I try to remember that the best way for us to keep our connection strong is to let her express herself (this might be through behavior or words) at home and listen unconditionally. We do a lot of touching base after school, mostly in the form of using my active listening skills. I am always available to listen and empathize whenever any kind of behavior arises, and I let her know that I know that anything she feels is OK. This goes a long way toward helping her manage her behavior and also maintaining our connection.

I do see more and more AP families are homeschooling, but homeschooling does not make you more or less AP. It also varies family to family and child to child. Some children want the school environment. Some families need it.

The issues she is having sound normal. I see this a lot and wondered if it comes from being put in an all day situation with children of the same age and not having the opportunity to socialize with varied ages. What you may want to do is assist in her getting more of a varied age social life maybe a bit after school and on weekends so that she maintains that skill to interact with all types of people.

If you find something for afterschool, it can be a good way for you to have fun time with her and all of you unwind before heading home for a night of homework and bed time. I know it is cold but maybe come up with a place you can eat one night a week that is semi picnic or potluck style or even host it yourself to let yourselves all become more integrated with your community and keep close to each other in ways that are happy.

Also make sure to have alone time with her each week. One on one cuddle and talk time. That is easier to do closer to bath time and bedtime, but you may want to do a Saturday long period of a window shopping trip or even take just her grocery shopping if you can arrange for the younger one to be taken care of. She may be feeling a bit sad that he gets to be with you all day.

Would love to hear updates on how it is going.

Peace,

Jo